sarah1268 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]A few weeks ago my 20 yr old bf and i were talking about moving out together. I don’t like living at home and i really want to move out, my other mates are happy with their living arrangements and when i mentioned this to my bf said he OFFERED ( note i didn’t ask him) . He was keen and we even started looking for places. I work in the city and drive over an hour to work, he works local and drives 20mins. As soon as he found out we couldn’t afford to move closer to HIS work, he said i will have to think about it. Then last night he tells me that his two mates asked him to move into a house with them in a suburb that he wants. I was upset, it felt like i was dogged by my best friend. I was really upset and crying, not just because im not moving out with him, but he was my last chance to move out at all. Even after I told him this, he said i was being melodramatic and its too much to ask of him. [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]When he told me this i was devastated, he knew how badly i want to move out of home and simply because its an extra 10 minutes away he said its too inconvenient for him. Even though i get up an hour before him![/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]He doesn’t get that this reflects on how much he loves me, i know that i would do the same for him in a heartbeat[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The worst part is that his best mate who he is going to share with is jealous of me spending time with my bf, and i know i would feel uncomfortable staying at a house i wasn’t renting. He said but” u can stay over all the time” obviously he hasn’t considered the other boys who don’t have gfs and i would hate it[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Even after listing all these points and listening to his point of view ( which was basically i don’t wanna move 10 mins away) he still thinks Im ridiculous. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]He says that Im his everything, hes even said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. How can i possibly believe this if he can do this?[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Basically i want to know if im overreacting, I didn’t force him in the slightest, and its like when a better offer came up he takes it and doesn’t give a **** about how unhappy i am at home. Am i overreacting? Or is he being selfish and looking out for himself? Would you say this relationship has a future? [/FONT][/sIZE]
Steelrain21 Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 First thing I'd have to say is just take a deep breath and relax, no need in acting like this is the end of the world. How long have you two been together? It's possible that he just doesn't feel 100% comfortable with the idea of moving in together, but might be too immature to come out and say it. Do you not have any girlfriends that you could live with? If you're putting all your time into your bf with no friends of your own, I can tell you from my younger days that that's not a good idea. Everybody needs separate friends from the people they are dating IMO. If you're worried about his friends not liking you, then just be sure to let them have their own time with your bf without you around. Most guys find it really annoying if a fellow friend ALWAYS has his gf around. Hanging out their often probably won't be a big deal, but just make sure they get to have their guy time too. It wouldn't hurt to chip in and do a few helpful things around their place either, I think it sends a good message. I had a similar situation a few years ago, and my gf would sometimes help out with the cleaning or dishes as kind of a "thank you for letting me somewhat live here" gesture to the people in the house.
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