OOReeee Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 It's been about 6 weeks since the breakup, I went to a scattered NC after but haven't talked or seen her in 2 weeks (she didn't even talk to me on my birthday). I had her blocked off my fb till about a week ago, then I just unblocked her but we are still not friends. She has been talking to my friends and telling then how much it sucks we are not talking because she misses hanging out with my friends. About an hour ago she sends me a video of something both of us used to laugh about back when we are together. No title or body or anything. I didn't reply (actually watched the video and deleted the message immediately after). What should I make of this?
alphamale Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 What should I make of this? assuming she left you, nothing really
georgia girl Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 That she wants to be friends - NOT that she wants you back. She misses the life you had together and even some parts of you - that's only natural. But, she doesn't want you back. If she did, she wouldn't be sending a video. She would be at your door, asking to talk and seeing if you can't work things out. As dumpees, we get so sucked into believing that contact from an ex shows regret and to a large degree, that's true. But they don't regret leaving us - they regret that they left a lifestyle that they enjoyed (for the most part) and the friends that they made. If you can handle being only friends with this girl (and I strongly suspect you can't), then go ahead and text/email her back. You will fall into the "friend zone" so make sure that's where you want to be. If you want something else from her, stay gone and heal. It's really the only option you've got. Sorry for the tough love!
ADF Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Your ex is ambivelant. On one hand, she is probably glad you broke up. On the other hand, she misses you. This is perfectly normal. When we bond with people emotionally, it causes changes in our brains. Literally. Those changes persist after we are no longer with the person. It is similar to the way we miss someone after they die. That is why NC is important. If you don't give yourself time to get over someone, you can keep going back and forth with that person for years. And in the meantime, you can miss out on meeting someone new.
Austen Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 She may be testing the water--feeling you out. She probably misses you. No matter who broke up with whom, she may think you don't want anything to do with her anymore. Hard to say exactly what is going through her head. You need to decide if you even want to find out.
confused and broken Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 She's playing you (or at least trying to) Girls like attention... and she misses getting it from you she wants to be wanted BUT you won't get anything worthwhile in return NC is your best friend in this situation
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