nobmagnet Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 :mad: My ex is messing with my head. I am upset again. I had actually reached a point on near indifference and i get another curve ball. He has moved to europe to be with his GF although is insisting he hasnt (donno why unless it causes issues with the kids or tax) anyhoo we are having problems selling the house we shared and he has decided he wants to pay me off (less than arranged) and mentioned he will live here with HER.:mad::mad: Now i havent a problem selling to a stranger but to think the woman who took him from his kids is going to live here has devastated me. I have single handedly renovated this home working up to 20 hours a day on it i land manage it alone and always have basicly. This place and the kids is my job. The thought of HER or HIM reaping the benifit financially and asthetically on my back is devastating me. Has anyone else been in this position in any shape of form? Its not a house its our home. My initial reaction was to trash it:confused::confused: Thats so not me. Ive been calm and been dignified through out all this poo but i feel im losing it with this curve ball. its sounds pathetic i know but i really have put my heart and soul here. Any clues how to cope with this dicision he has made? The house is in joint names. Nobby xx:love:
Ilovecake Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 I don't understand why are you forced to sell it to him? If it's in both your names get that thing on the market and sell it and move to a new home. He can't force you to sell it to him. I know moving is a pain the butt, especially if you have kids, but I would imagine it would feel better if neither one of you lived in the house.
GrayClouds Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 Sell it, try to get top $ from him, and go live your life. He is not worth it.
Author nobmagnet Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 Sell it, try to get top $ from him, and go live your life. He is not worth it. ta for advice. Its been getting very low offers. If we accept low offers i will come out of this without enough to buy a home. I dont mind moving, i really dont (you only ever borrow a home) but i is the thought of Her living here that im finding really upsetting. does that make sence? Nobby xx
Rearden Metal Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 Yeah it makes sense. But the thing to do is keep your own best interests in mind, financially. Fight to secure your finances going forward, not out of reaction to your emotions.
Author nobmagnet Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 Yeah it makes sense. But the thing to do is keep your own best interests in mind, financially. Fight to secure your finances going forward, not out of reaction to your emotions. Your right. I suppose it was the fact she was so far away and there was a good chance i would never meet her that gave me comfort. The thought of meeting her and the possibility of her moving into my home has really thrown me. It has awakened all sorts of anger that should have gone. I dont want him in any shape of form but if I am gonna be honest the thought of them having happiness here guts me. your not supposed to feel ill will for people are you? But im afaraid i do. Didnt but do. i should be ashamed.but these feelings are strong. She is pondlife and so is he. Why should they be happy?? ugh sorry Nobby xx
GrayClouds Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 ta for advice. Its been getting very low offers. If we accept low offers i will come out of this without enough to buy a home. I dont mind moving, i really dont (you only ever borrow a home) but i is the thought of Her living here that im finding really upsetting. does that make sence? Nobby xx completely, and I would feel the same way but it is not about the house, though as soon as you let it go, you will have let him go.
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