gail715 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 I divorced my son's father 5 years ago because I came home from work and caught him with another woman. Before I divorced him he became very mentally abusive due to him drinking alcohol. Not long after we divorced he started doing drugs with his new girlfriend. They were smoking pot and taking pain pills that weren't prescribed to them. Him and his girlfriend now live in the home that we once shared, even though the house was mine and I worked very hard to have this house built, I couldnt stay in it because I had it built next to his parents. My ex-husband was ordered to pay child-support, which he refused to do because he didnt think that it was fair. We didnt hear from him for 6 months so I went and took out a criminal warrant for non-support. When the police went up there with the warrant to arrest him they found several drugs on him and then searched the house and found several drugs and many pipes that they were using. He was arrested then released on bond. when we went back to court I was given sole custody and he was placed on supervised visitations with his mother being the one to supervise them. He just went to court March 9th for a suppression hearing and now that they had the evidence to take it to trial, he is scheduled for a Court Trial on May 6th. I have been warned by several people to keep my son away from that house and his father until all of this is over and done with because all together he has two felonies, several misdemeanors, and 3 DUI's. He is also a convicted felon due to being caught with drugs a year before they busted him with the warrant,and in our state once you are convicted of a felony you cannot have a fire arm in your possesion. My son has come home from his visitations to tell me that him and his dad has been shooting together and his grandparents were no where around. When I confronted my ex-husband about this all he had to say was " I cant believe he told you about it!" I would appreciate some feeback as to what I should do! I do not want to keep my son away from his father but at the same time I love my son more than anything in this world and it is my job to protect him and keep him safe. He knows what his father is doing he has witnessed it first hand and he is only 12 years old. Should I keep him from that side of the family until his father decides to grow up, or should I continue to send him with his grandmother and have her leave him with his dad and girlfriend that she is suppose to be supervising? I don't want to be the bad parent in my sons eyes when this is all over with! Please send me some advice I am in desperate need of all the help that you can give me!!!
sally4sara Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 Convicted felons are not suppose to have guns, let alone use guns while high and supervising a kid to use them as well. Clearly the grandmother is not up to the task of being the one to supervise these visits. How will you feel if the doped-out twat accidentally shoots your son? Now that you know this goes on, do something to prevent the worst case scenario before it gets to worst case scenario. Report him for being a felon and having guns. I'm sure they will find more drugs in their search for the gun(s). This is not the kind of man you want your son looking to for male guidance. I know he is the boy's father, but he isn't much of a dad.
tigereyes1428 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 you son wont hate you if he is alive safe and well - his mum has broken the terms of her agreement therfore you cant trust her - i would not allow my son to visit and i would tell him the truth why good luck
fooled once Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I divorced my son's father 5 years ago because I came home from work and caught him with another woman. Before I divorced him he became very mentally abusive due to him drinking alcohol. Not long after we divorced he started doing drugs with his new girlfriend. They were smoking pot and taking pain pills that weren't prescribed to them. Him and his girlfriend now live in the home that we once shared, even though the house was mine and I worked very hard to have this house built, I couldnt stay in it because I had it built next to his parents. My ex-husband was ordered to pay child-support, which he refused to do because he didnt think that it was fair. We didnt hear from him for 6 months so I went and took out a criminal warrant for non-support. When the police went up there with the warrant to arrest him they found several drugs on him and then searched the house and found several drugs and many pipes that they were using. He was arrested then released on bond. when we went back to court I was given sole custody and he was placed on supervised visitations with his mother being the one to supervise them. He just went to court March 9th for a suppression hearing and now that they had the evidence to take it to trial, he is scheduled for a Court Trial on May 6th. I have been warned by several people to keep my son away from that house and his father until all of this is over and done with because all together he has two felonies, several misdemeanors, and 3 DUI's. He is also a convicted felon due to being caught with drugs a year before they busted him with the warrant,and in our state once you are convicted of a felony you cannot have a fire arm in your possesion. My son has come home from his visitations to tell me that him and his dad has been shooting together and his grandparents were no where around. When I confronted my ex-husband about this all he had to say was " I cant believe he told you about it!" I would appreciate some feeback as to what I should do! I do not want to keep my son away from his father but at the same time I love my son more than anything in this world and it is my job to protect him and keep him safe. He knows what his father is doing he has witnessed it first hand and he is only 12 years old. Should I keep him from that side of the family until his father decides to grow up, or should I continue to send him with his grandmother and have her leave him with his dad and girlfriend that she is suppose to be supervising? I don't want to be the bad parent in my sons eyes when this is all over with! Please send me some advice I am in desperate need of all the help that you can give me!!! A judge decided YOU were the one to have sole custody. it is YOUR JOB as a PARENT to protect your son - even from his father. Your son needs YOU to step up and PARENT him and KEEP him away from his father. Do you want your son removed from YOUR care because YOU CANNOT follow the judge's orders? If the MIL is NOT supervising the visits, get the visits moved to a place where it can monitored by a neutral 3rd party. You have to be your son's protector - his father has shown he can't be. what would happen if your son got accidentally hit by a bullet (and the other poster is right, it is against the law for your EX to own or operate a gun due to him being a convicted felon). Or your son killed because your ex had him in the car and he was drunk and had an accident. STEP UP and parent your son. Being a parent means saying NO -- and you are putting your son in harms way by allowing this to continue.
Author gail715 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 I have been keeping him away from them but my biggest concern is my son hating me when he gets older for keeping him away from that side of his family. I love my son more than anything in this world and i couldnt imagine losing him and i worry that someday he will despise me for keeping them away from him. We have moved out of the county so that his father and his fathers parents dont know where we live because they started riding by our home trying to see him. He is only 12 and he doesnt know all of the terrible things his dad has done and therefore I worry everyday that one day he will turn against me for all of this when all I am trying to do is protect him.
tigereyes1428 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 one thing i have learnt is that its not important that your kid likes you - its a bonus if they do - as a mum one of the hardest things is to make decisions that you know are best and they dont understand therefore wont like - i am bad cop a lot but hey ho - my kids are safe and healthy and maturing daily to the point i can be honest with them - at 12 your son needs to know about the legal situation and why its in place , in my opinion
Author gail715 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 He knows some things and he has seen more thing than Im sure i know about. He has seen his dad and his dads girlfriend doing drugs. I havent told him anything that is going to make me look like i am talking trash about his dad, I also havent told him that his dad could be going to prison. I definatly want him to know the whole story from beginning to end. Yes you are right, at age 12 they are mature enough to know what is going on in reality. It is so hard to see him hurt, this little boy is my heart and soul. My life revolves around my son. It is just so hard for me to decide what to do because I have no family around, and no really good friends to talk to. I really appreciate all the advice that you all have given me, it truely helps.
tigereyes1428 Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 i totally get you- please dont feel alone you can message me anytime honey x
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