My friend always seems to go for ldr scammers

[SarahRose]

I want to post my friend's situation and get some thoughts on what you think really is going on.

 

I have come to the conclusion that many people online just like to play games with people online and have fantasy relationships through the internet.

 

Anyway, my friend has a thing for Asian women particularly from the Philippines.

 

Anyway he started talking to this girl online maybe 4 years ago and they talked for a few months but they later stopped talking until late last year.

 

Here is her story. She lives in the Philipines but is an American citizen because her parents are in California but prefers to live in the Philippines because her job is so great and pays really well.

 

She is mid 30s supposedly single and a virgin and never had a real relationship before this one with my friend.

 

She claims to have a BA degree from a university there in the Philippines and her work is in Sweden but she actually does her job from the Philippines.

 

So they are talking every day for hours on the phone and by IM and soon they say they are in love. He says he wants to come there to meet her and she wants him to.

 

Then a few weeks later she talks about needing to have surgery to remove lumps from her breasts and then later on supposedly some ovarian cysts had to be removed which is why on web cam she never showed her stomach as the growths were really large. So she has surgery and is released a day or two later and then has to have chemo just in case she has cancer.

 

Now my friend has bought a ticket there and is due to leave any day and she keeps picking fights with him about this other girl he decided to date when he stopped talking to her online several years ago. She is talking about how different she looks now after the treatments and about the scars she has.

 

She has never asked him for money and I don't think she has sent him any but still, I think it is all a farce.

 

She was really keen for him to come there and they get married right away and get her pregnant because she may not ever be able to have kids after the chemo.

 

Now she is picking these fights with him like she doesn't want him to come at all.

 

I have tried to tell my friend I think she is lying about everything but he seems to think she is telling the truth.

 

What I think is that she is really married and just had a baby and is just playing around online with men in other countries for either money or attention.

 

Any thoughts?

[aerogurl87]

Wait a second! Screw whether or not she's a scammer, she wants him to come there, marry her, and get her knocked up ASAP! If that's not a red flag, I don't know what is. She probably is lying (although there's a chance she may not be) but one thing is certain she's a crazy biatch and not the good kind that Buckcherry sing about.

[dazzle22]

My husband is half Philipino, so I have been to the Phillipines, and oddly enough, met three men on various planes who were all going there "engaged" to women they had met online and had never met!

 

One man was actually going a second time. The first online fiance dumped him in another country and he never did get to the States with her. Guess she got a better offer! These women are total scammers. It is their way to get out of abject poverty usually. There are laws in the States about these kind of marriages now though. The INS is on to these scammers, and you have to be interviewed, and the process for permanent residency is stricter now.

[SarahRose]

Wait a second! Screw whether or not she's a scammer, she wants him to come there, marry her, and get her knocked up ASAP! If that's not a red flag, I don't know what is. She probably is lying (although there's a chance she may not be) but one thing is certain she's a crazy biatch and not the good kind that Buckcherry sing about.

 

Of course it is all totally whacked to any reasonable outsider looking at the situation.

 

Wanting to marry someone they've never met... insane.

[SarahRose]

My husband is half Philipino, so I have been to the Phillipines, and oddly enough, met three men on various planes who were all going there "engaged" to women they had met online and had never met!

 

One man was actually going a second time. The first online fiance dumped him in another country and he never did get to the States with her. Guess she got a better offer! These women are total scammers. It is their way to get out of abject poverty usually. There are laws in the States about these kind of marriages now though. The INS is on to these scammers, and you have to be interviewed, and the process for permanent residency is stricter now.

 

 

I really really really don't get that. How could you be engaged to someone you have never met unless it is some sort of arranged marriage.

 

Yeah my friend was dumped by several others when I guess they got better deals or it was revealed they were married with a bunch of kids.

 

With the law changes I guess he could still get married there but not bring her back to the USA. I seriously doubt she is American.

[aerogurl87]

Of course it is all totally whacked to any reasonable outsider looking at the situation.

 

Wanting to marry someone they've never met... insane.

 

Ok, well I can't completely agree with the fact that wanting to marry someone you've never met is crazy. My ex said if he had the money for a ring he would've proposed to me the on the second day he came to see me for our first visit. Granted, he did turn out to be a bit psycho but I digress...

 

She's not American I can almost guarantee you that. Hence the rush to marry AND get pregnant by your friend. With the INS being stricter on immigrants nowadays she probably figures by bringing a baby into the mix it'll make the process of getting into America alot quicker. I'd tell your friend to steer clear of this woman and find someone who isn't just with him because they think he is the gateway into the good ol' US of A.

[SarahRose]

Ok, well I can't completely agree with the fact that wanting to marry someone you've never met is crazy. My ex said if he had the money for a ring he would've proposed to me the on the second day he came to see me for our first visit. Granted, he did turn out to be a bit psycho but I digress...

 

She's not American I can almost guarantee you that. Hence the rush to marry AND get pregnant by your friend. With the INS being stricter on immigrants nowadays she probably figures by bringing a baby into the mix it'll make the process of getting into America alot quicker. I'd tell your friend to steer clear of this woman and find someone who isn't just with him because they think he is the gateway into the good ol' US of A.

 

Yeah he wanted to rush before you figured out he was psycho.

 

She told him to bring his birth certificate and they could get married the same day he arrives and a friend would handle the paperwork. Yeah right.

 

I don't get why so many men are so foolish for this rubbish.

[maria_patheticsoul]

My husband is half Philipino, so I have been to the Phillipines, and oddly enough, met three men on various planes who were all going there "engaged" to women they had met online and had never met!

 

One man was actually going a second time. The first online fiance dumped him in another country and he never did get to the States with her. Guess she got a better offer! These women are total scammers. It is their way to get out of abject poverty usually. There are laws in the States about these kind of marriages now though. The INS is on to these scammers, and you have to be interviewed, and the process for permanent residency is stricter now.

Oh geeeee OUCH i am a filipina so i hope you were not referring to ALL of the filipinas as scammers.

[aerogurl87]

Yeah he wanted to rush before you figured out he was psycho.

 

She told him to bring his birth certificate and they could get married the same day he arrives and a friend would handle the paperwork. Yeah right.

 

I don't get why so many men are so foolish for this rubbish.

 

In hindsight I believe you are correct because our relationship went pretty much downhill in the next two months all because I wouldn't move up North to go live with him and pay for everything while he sat at home and played video games all day.

 

But yeah that's just creepy and if that doesn't scream scammer I don't know what does. I mean getting married the same day he gets there (for their first time ever meeting face to face) is just plain odd. The writing is on the wall for your friend but if he wants to stick his head in the sand and pretend it's not there, that's his fault. There's a big difference between naivety and ignorance, and in this case it's just plain ignorance that will not turn out to be so blissful in the end.

[dazzle22]

Oh geeeee OUCH i am a filipina so i hope you were not referring to ALL of the filipinas as scammers.

 

 

Absolutely not. I am married into a filipino family so no, no. I love your culture. I was just using an example of women on certain websites from other countries wanting to find American men. Just so happened the example was filipino because we went to that country.

[SarahRose]

I thought I would update the story as it really is so sad.

 

He goes over there to meet her last month. He married her on the 4th day he was there. The marriage itself seems to be a sham. He had to go to the us embassy to get a form and then some friend just asked them all their personal details and wrote it down and collected $500 USD to expedite things. Didn't ask for passport, birth certificate or anything. No ceremony.

 

So the friend is so happy to be banging daily this new virgin bride of his.

 

So he stays about 2 weeks and then the day after he gets back to the states she tells him she is pregnant. How would she even know she was pregnant after doing it for a week and a half?

 

So the next day or two tons of drama and so she supposedly ends up in the hospital having a miscarriage. All traumatic and dramatic and my friend eats it up hook line and sinker.

 

Then some other suitor shows up at her door harassing her and then there is a supposed attempted rape story.

 

He believes all this too.

 

Now just a few days ago she wants to call it quits.

 

So it goes back and forth and more drama.

 

Now there is another suitor coming out of the woodwork harassing her. More drama and then of course there is the chemo for her cancer. I notice all these young filipina girls are all deathly ill with organ transplants and cancer. I saw pictures of her and she looked healthy as a horse and full head of hair. Supposed she takes some pills at home and that is her chemo for some mysterious cancer they have no idea what it is.

 

I tell my friend he is being scammed multiple time. I point blank tell him he is being scammed. He insists he hasn't sent her any money and I don't believe him. I think he is just too embarrassed to tell me.

 

So he writes to me and tells me that she is for real and he is standing by her no matter what. He says she is legit and she has plenty of white friends who back up her story.

 

I have no idea why he can't see what is going on here?

[aerogurl87]

I thought I would update the story as it really is so sad.

 

He goes over there to meet her last month. He married her on the 4th day he was there. The marriage itself seems to be a sham. He had to go to the us embassy to get a form and then some friend just asked them all their personal details and wrote it down and collected $500 USD to expedite things. Didn't ask for passport, birth certificate or anything. No ceremony.

 

So the friend is so happy to be banging daily this new virgin bride of his.

 

So he stays about 2 weeks and then the day after he gets back to the states she tells him she is pregnant. How would she even know she was pregnant after doing it for a week and a half?

 

So the next day or two tons of drama and so she supposedly ends up in the hospital having a miscarriage. All traumatic and dramatic and my friend eats it up hook line and sinker.

 

Then some other suitor shows up at her door harassing her and then there is a supposed attempted rape story.

 

He believes all this too.

 

Now just a few days ago she wants to call it quits.

 

So it goes back and forth and more drama.

 

Now there is another suitor coming out of the woodwork harassing her. More drama and then of course there is the chemo for her cancer. I notice all these young filipina girls are all deathly ill with organ transplants and cancer. I saw pictures of her and she looked healthy as a horse and full head of hair. Supposed she takes some pills at home and that is her chemo for some mysterious cancer they have no idea what it is.

 

I tell my friend he is being scammed multiple time. I point blank tell him he is being scammed. He insists he hasn't sent her any money and I don't believe him. I think he is just too embarrassed to tell me.

 

So he writes to me and tells me that she is for real and he is standing by her no matter what. He says she is legit and she has plenty of white friends who back up her story.

 

I have no idea why he can't see what is going on here?

 

Your friend is in some major denial. Bribing people to expedite the marriage process, mysterious miscarriages and cancer, what next, she's abducted by the goverment and held hostage till he sends them some ransom money? I mean really, either he's really screwed up in the head or he doesn't want to face the reality that he's been scammed. I'm banking on it being he's just in denial though. Hopefully some common sense will kick in soon.

[SarahRose]

Well common sense hasn't kicked in. She was supposed to come to the US in July but she hasn't come and I don't think she is going to.

 

He has been sending her $300usd a month because she quit her job.

 

It seems she married someone else to help them get into the philipines, another American and now he is living there with her. He is to get her visa into the US but she told my friend she can't use her real name to come to the US.

 

This other name is where he sends the money to and she is nearly 40 and not 30.

 

So he really has no clue who he is married to.

 

She is verbally abusive to him nearly every other day calling him fat, ugly, and poor and then she is sweet as pie saying how hot he is.

 

He still hasn't met any of her friends or family. She told him to take their photos off his facebook as she doesn't want to be seen online.

 

I have no idea why he is still hanging on at this point.

[Art_Critic]

I have no idea why he is still hanging on at this point.

 

Simply put.. your friend could use some therapy.

 

His people picker is off and he is being used...She probably has 11 other guys sending her 300 a month too....

[SarahRose]

Simply put.. your friend could use some therapy.

 

His people picker is off and he is being used...She probably has 11 other guys sending her 300 a month too....

 

True, I as well as other friends have told him she has others sending her money too. He really wants to believe his marriage is real.

 

Another friend suggested counseling for him since he keeps doing this. He won't go.

[madjac74]

You know what this story lacks...love! Im pretty sure you can't mail order it either.

[taiko]

I thought I would update the story as it really is so sad.

 

He goes over there to meet her last month. He married her on the 4th day he was there. The marriage itself seems to be a sham. He had to go to the us embassy to get a form and then some friend just asked them all their personal details and wrote it down and collected $500 USD to expedite things. Didn't ask for passport, birth certificate or anything. No ceremony.

 

So the friend is so happy to be banging daily this new virgin bride of his.

 

So he stays about 2 weeks and then the day after he gets back to the states she tells him she is pregnant. How would she even know she was pregnant after doing it for a week and a half?

 

So the next day or two tons of drama and so she supposedly ends up in the hospital having a miscarriage. All traumatic and dramatic and my friend eats it up hook line and sinker.

 

Then some other suitor shows up at her door harassing her and then there is a supposed attempted rape story.

 

He believes all this too.

 

Now just a few days ago she wants to call it quits.

 

So it goes back and forth and more drama.

 

Now there is another suitor coming out of the woodwork harassing her. More drama and then of course there is the chemo for her cancer. I notice all these young filipina girls are all deathly ill with organ transplants and cancer. I saw pictures of her and she looked healthy as a horse and full head of hair. Supposed she takes some pills at home and that is her chemo for some mysterious cancer they have no idea what it is.

 

I tell my friend he is being scammed multiple time. I point blank tell him he is being scammed. He insists he hasn't sent her any money and I don't believe him. I think he is just too embarrassed to tell me.

 

So he writes to me and tells me that she is for real and he is standing by her no matter what. He says she is legit and she has plenty of white friends who back up her story.

 

I have no idea why he can't see what is going on here?

 

Yes, your friend was taken. The Republic of the Philippines has a 10 day waiting period for a wedding. You see guys on the immigration sites all the time trying to figure a way around the period because counting travel time their entire vacation would be burned up before the wedding.

 

Even after the marriage the fees for filing a spousal visa is about double that $500 the fixer/grifter stole from him. The counsel's fee for proving that a US citizen has the legal right to marry is only $30 however.

[SarahRose]

Another update

 

The friend decided to contact ecensus over there to get a copy of his marriage certificate so they send it to him a few weeks later and apparently he is married to someone over there. The person fixed the documents and got it into the system some how.

 

He found out she was lying about more things and said he wasn't going to send her anymore money but it turns out he was. He said they had an arrangement to send her the $500 a month the 15th of every month.

 

She also travels to Manila every month around the 10th for some reason and stays for a few days she said to see the oncologist supposedly. I think she goes down there to pick up men from the airport.

 

He found a way to trace IP address on a certain social site and he put all the old messages through from her and all her nutty friends and supposed suitors and they all traced back to her IP address so everyone on her social site was a fake person made up by her.

 

The suitors were all a lie and obviously the cancer and all this other stuff was a lie.

 

He stopped talking to her for a week and now he is talking to her again. He says he wants to believe she will really come to the US this fall like she is supposed to and of course money comes up and she needs money for visa fees.

 

She claimed to be getting her passport this week and already has a visa interview 5 days later. I told him it doesn't work that way that you need to have a passport first. I even sent him the link to the immigration site but he just isn't getting it.

 

I thought he finally was seeing he is being scammed but now she must have sweet talked him again as he is wanting to believe she is for real.

 

He finally told his family and a couple friends what is going on. They said they didn't understand how she could be scamming him when he is broke, why not go for a rich guy. I was thinking that scammers don't care as long as they find someone gullible enough to believe their crap and send money.

 

He said they spend hours on the chat every day so how could she be talking to other men. I said she could have a dozen chat windows open and you'd never know it.

[taiko]

Another update

 

The friend decided to contact ecensus over there to get a copy of his marriage certificate so they send it to him a few weeks later and apparently he is married to someone over there. The person fixed the documents and got it into the system some how.

.

 

That's simple to do. The family code doesn't require an actual signed marriage license or the solemnizing officer to submit the paperwork to the local civil registrar. You will be assumed married to a court issues a nullity. My wife's father supported his secret second family fixing paper work back in Marcos' day. I personally know 5 women who had their children's 'illegitimate" birth certificates fixed only to find out later they were married or bigamist as the checks are only done in foreign visa situations.

[SarahRose]

Apparently this woman is also married to someone else under a different name, the name he sends the money to.

 

He thinks he is going to have to get divorce but I don't think he'll have to since the marriage is fraudulent and she is already married to someone else.

 

Is there any way to find out who this person really is without hiring an expensive PI?

[SarahRose]

Sometimes I wonder if my friend is the stupidest person on the planet?

 

He was still talking to her after finding out more of her lies but he didn't confront her at the time. He swore he wasn't going to send her anymore money.

 

So now she uses the visa scam story of how she has an appointment for a visa to come over to him and she needs $140. The idiot sends it to her.

 

So a few days later she tells him her visa was denied. She apparently got a passport, an appointment for a visa and denied all in less than 2 weeks.

 

So she keeps asking if he still wants to be with her. She said she wanted him to come visit her next month but they can't stay at her house. That is because her real husband and family lives there doh.

 

I go looking at some scammer sites and found a picture of her where she was engaged to some other American and took him for nearly $5000. I showed it to my friend and he said it did look like her but he didn't think it was her. I thought it looked identical to her and even identical glasses in one photo.

 

So finally he decided to confront her about all her lies. She writes me a letter supposedly apologizing to me and explaining why she did what she did. It read like one of those Nigerian scammer letters all drawn out and said nothing.

 

I wrote back and let her have it. I told her to provide evidence by the end of the day and she didn't send anything.

 

She seems to be afraid of me in that I might tell on her to the immigration and different places.

 

So finally my friend says he is ending it with her but they still have to talk some because he needs her to sign divorce papers. I asked him if he talked to an attorney which he was supposed to do weeks ago but didn't do it. Then some friend said he didn't need an attorney and to send the papers to her to sign and file lol. He asked my advice if he thought he should delete her facebook and stop talking to her. I said yes as all she is going to do is butter him up with cybersex and ask for more money from him.

 

She is already married to someone else and thus a bigamist so I do think he needs legal advice on this.

 

At this point, the situation is so stupidly ridiculous, I don't even want to hear him talk about it anymore.

 

The he writes to me asking me who I thought was hotter between her and his ex? I mean WTF? Who cares!

[Rollercoasterr]

The thing he's not understanding is that it's IMPOSSIBLE for her to be doing what shes doing. For starters, no matter which visa you choose the USC spouse/fiance fills out the first leg of paperwork, and they both go to an American address for processing. No way around it! People wait 6-12 months for an interview for both types of visas, and the visa fee went up 2 months ago to almost $400. This woman is crazy and is going to take him for every dime he's got. He really needs to read up on these visas. That's the only thing thats going to help him understand that she's not doing what she says. He, as the husband(or even fiance) would have to show that he can support her on her arrival. Has he sent any financial documents to her? Have they provided proof of a relationship? These are things that would get a spousal visa denied outright without the option of an interview. Fiance visas dont need the financial stuff until the interview, but since they're supposedly already married this wouldn't apply.

 

I really feel bad for your friend, but the longer this goes on the less I feel for him. It's almost like he WANTS to be taken advantage of.

[SarahRose]

The thing he's not understanding is that it's IMPOSSIBLE for her to be doing what shes doing. For starters, no matter which visa you choose the USC spouse/fiance fills out the first leg of paperwork, and they both go to an American address for processing. No way around it! People wait 6-12 months for an interview for both types of visas, and the visa fee went up 2 months ago to almost $400. This woman is crazy and is going to take him for every dime he's got. He really needs to read up on these visas. That's the only thing thats going to help him understand that she's not doing what she says. He, as the husband(or even fiance) would have to show that he can support her on her arrival. Has he sent any financial documents to her? Have they provided proof of a relationship? These are things that would get a spousal visa denied outright without the option of an interview. Fiance visas dont need the financial stuff until the interview, but since they're supposedly already married this wouldn't apply.

 

I really feel bad for your friend, but the longer this goes on the less I feel for him. It's almost like he WANTS to be taken advantage of.

 

This

 

It is beyond ridiculously stupid at this point. All this is staring him right in the face and he said to me yesterday he didn't think she is a scammer. I mean what does this woman have to do to him for him to get it?

 

She wasn't coming over on a fiance or spouse visa because she can't as she is married to someone else. Yes, she is married to at least 2 people at the same time just using fake names.

 

She was going to come over on a tourist visa.

 

She has lied to him about everything and he knows it but is still talking to her. He is going to be in the poor house soon while she supports her deadbeat pinoy husband.