Graywulfx Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I've recently wrapped up a 2 year relationship and have been questioning some of the morals that have guided me my entire life. I've always strongly believed in doing what I believed was right. Even if I had to sometimes put my personal well being aside. I'm all about loyalty and respect, but I'm starting to feel that I'm in the minority here. I can't help but feel that the people that flourish nowadays are the people with no moral compass. They live life without remorse, regret, and have no regard for anything. Nothing is sacred. When you respect nothing I suppose you are impervious to pain and heartache. There is something I envy about that quality. Maybe the post break up emotions are clouding my judgement or maybe I'm on to something. What do the wise LSers think?
threebyfate Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I don't think it much matters what other people do, since it's up to you to choose your partners wisely. There are still a percentage of individuals who stand by their own personal code of honour, one that includes respect and loyalty.
djentleman Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Sht happens. That said, I'm not a fan of cold sores. So, I'm more akin to curb the "urges" and keep the morals. I've been told many a time that I'm a strong person — nobody really knows that I have nerves comparable to glass, ready to shatter at any moment. So, don't be carried away with what your eyes see. And, as I mentioned in an earlier thread, I do not believe in a "no regrets" philosophy. It just seems like comfort food, and rather too nihilistic for me. It seems like the ones who implement that philosophy are the ones who ef up the most too. Wouldn't you agree?
Author Graywulfx Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 TBF, Maybe my people picker is on the fritz. Someone has a signature talking about one's people picker being broken. It really stuck in my head. Anyway, I just look around and see so many people destroying their integrity by cheating and lying to their SO. I've got a good 4-5 friends that have cheated and show little remorse. It blows my mind. Maybe you're right Djentleman, they could be putting on a show. They could save face out in public only to go home and be plagued with remorse. Who knows? They do ef up, but do they ever really pay the price for it?
dazzle22 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 I believe you have to be very careful with people these days. Because in general people move around a lot and often we meet people who come with no "built in references" such as friends or family that you would know because you grew up in the same community and you are "on the grapevine", people can wreak havoc in one place, and merely move away and "reinvent themselves". Or create a completely false different persona on the internet. My feeling in life, having been burned by many friends over the years, is that it takes about 3 yrs to really see the sides of people they try to keep hidden and to really know what makes them tick and what their "dark sides" are.
Toki Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 I prefer quiet vice to ostentatious virtue. However, in the same spirit morality means different things to different people, I was raised to believe loyalty, honor, and respect was more important than death; which is sad considering that you can be loyal to someone who treats you like crap, honorable towards a cause that might be unjust, and respectful to something that deserves no respect at all. Love and relationships can't be all about morality, a relationship won't survive on just loyalty or honor. Sometimes it's a good feeling knowing you'll come charging in on your white horse to make sure this world thinks the same way you do, but people will just knock you off of your high horse if you think you know better than they do. Morality is not dead, it's an ever changing thing that is different from one generation to the next, the morality I knew was contemporary to people living in the 30s-50s compared to people who were raised by parents having the morals of the 60s-90s. So I always felt a bit angered when some kid would get away scott free for something I would've gotten my ass beaten black and blue for, it's something that still persists today, but I don't claim I'm right... in a way a lot of my views on morality are chauvinistic and archaic.
GrayClouds Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 I prefer quiet vice to ostentatious virtue. However, in the same spirit morality means different things to different people, I was raised to believe loyalty, honor, and respect was more important than death; which is sad considering that you can be loyal to someone who treats you like crap, honorable towards a cause that might be unjust, and respectful to something that deserves no respect at all. Love and relationships can't be all about morality, a relationship won't survive on just loyalty or honor. Sometimes it's a good feeling knowing you'll come charging in on your white horse to make sure this world thinks the same way you do, but people will just knock you off of your high horse if you think you know better than they do. Morality is not dead, it's an ever changing thing that is different from one generation to the next, the morality I knew was contemporary to people living in the 30s-50s compared to people who were raised by parents having the morals of the 60s-90s. So I always felt a bit angered when some kid would get away scott free for something I would've gotten my ass beaten black and blue for, it's something that still persists today, but I don't claim I'm right... in a way a lot of my views on morality are chauvinistic and archaic. We gone from the "Greatest Generation" to the "Me Generation" to the "Mine Generation".
Odyssey Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 OP, i wouldn't be ditching your morals just yet. Even if all you see around you proves otherwise. That's like giving up... (if everyone else have poo poo values and a apathetic attitude then i might as well join 'em). You'll just have to find someone with the same kinds of values as you... they're out there. Don't be jaded...at least you really know what to look for now, better than before right? On a slightly different note, the thing about values? They can change. Bottom of the list now, priority the next (and vice versa too). Same with people.
ADF Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 People who lack a strong moral compass have always flourish in some ways and to some degree. There is nothing new about this, nor is there any reason to think such people are more plentiful than in the past. People haven't changed. However, society has. Male infidelity, for example, was taken as a virtual given until after WWII. It wasn't until the idealization of home and hearth of the 1950s that men, as well as women, were expected to be faithful. The key is not to assume everyone in the world think like you. Understand that where some people see kindness and feel the need to reciprocate, others see weakness and an opportunity to exploit.
soheartbroken Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Even if the rest of the world goes to sh*t, I will always stick by my morals. No cheating from me, EVER.
dazzle22 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 People who lack a strong moral compass have always flourish in some ways and to some degree. There is nothing new about this, nor is there any reason to think such people are more plentiful than in the past. People haven't changed. However, society has. Male infidelity, for example, was taken as a virtual given until after WWII. It wasn't until the idealization of home and hearth of the 1950s that men, as well as women, were expected to be faithful. The key is not to assume everyone in the world think like you. Understand that where some people see kindness and feel the need to reciprocate, others see weakness and an opportunity to exploit. This WWII thing and male infidelity is interesting. Where can one read up on this?
sao2 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Sometimes two people both want to do the right thing but they sincerely disagree about what the right thing is. What one person considers being considerate is taken as an insult by another, A simple example: When someone close calls me, even if I am busy I try and answer the phone just in case it is an emergency. I am subtly trying to demonstrate to them that I am there for them just in case. If I can not talk I will ask if it is something important and then get off the phone. My girlfriend on the other hand would rather I just not answer and call her back when I have time to talk. She was able to identify that what I was doing was the right thing to do from my point of view but if she wasn't then we might have had big problems over something that was ultimately silly. The moral is the same, try and not just consider someone else's situation but also try and consider their view of right and wrong as well.
ADF Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 This WWII thing and male infidelity is interesting. Where can one read up on this? There's a large body of social history relating to this. I'd start with a book called The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trip, by Stephanie Koontz.
nobmagnet Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Hello all, Imteresting topic. i have been bought up with my eyes wide open to watching other people and what happens. I am lucky My parents are good role models......still married but both have expressed where they are today (43 years married) has been hard, temptation on both sides and serious irritation issues too. However they wouldnt ever want to be with anyone else. I went out with my freinds (3 school mates) about 10 years ago and I asked them if they would consider having an affaire at any point. I was shocked, horrified and indeed dissapointed. I was the only one who said it is something I could never consider as an option. Then again.............I was the only one who had been subjected to the pain and heart ache of a partner doing that to them. I am proud of my morals. My rules. I follow no religion but I have my rules to live by. I would never treat somebody as I wouldnt like to be treated basicly. Thats it. I am kind and forgiving but i dont expect everyone to be the same. I love my freinds but i was dissapointed that they had such lose morals as we all grew up in similar enviroments. respect for a fellow human. If they hurt you though...........on purpose with no regret........i couldnt give the time of day. Nobby xx
Author Graywulfx Posted April 2, 2010 Author Posted April 2, 2010 Hello all, Imteresting topic. i have been bought up with my eyes wide open to watching other people and what happens. I am lucky My parents are good role models......still married but both have expressed where they are today (43 years married) has been hard, temptation on both sides and serious irritation issues too. However they wouldnt ever want to be with anyone else. I went out with my freinds (3 school mates) about 10 years ago and I asked them if they would consider having an affaire at any point. I was shocked, horrified and indeed dissapointed. I was the only one who said it is something I could never consider as an option. Then again.............I was the only one who had been subjected to the pain and heart ache of a partner doing that to them. I am proud of my morals. My rules. I follow no religion but I have my rules to live by. I would never treat somebody as I wouldnt like to be treated basicly. Thats it. I am kind and forgiving but i dont expect everyone to be the same. I love my freinds but i was dissapointed that they had such lose morals as we all grew up in similar enviroments. respect for a fellow human. If they hurt you though...........on purpose with no regret........i couldnt give the time of day. Nobby xx I can understand morals changing with time... I can understand one person's morals conflicting with those of another. I can't, however, wrap my mind around this. Cheating is fundamentally wrong IMO. I've had a couple conversations of a similar nature with my friends. All have blown my mind. Eh, maybe I'm a boyscout. I'm going to stick by my morals, but keep y guard up a bit better. Maybe next time I get knocked off my high horse it wont hurt so much.
Crusoe Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 Eh, maybe I'm a boyscout. I'm going to stick by my morals Good on you, from cradle to grave, they are the only things you will ever truly own.
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