stablesong Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I apologise in advance - I'm just after a little reassurance is all. I won't bore you with the details of my past relationship, as I've made numerous posts on here over the course of the coping. Basically, broke up 10 months ago, haven't spoken AT ALL for 7 months and probably won't ever again. It was a long-distance relationship that went wrong; she got involved with someone else. Blah, blah, blah. You know how it goes. I'm not bitter, and I've forgiven her. I understand and accept that it's human nature (propinquity and propensity), and that there's much more out there better suited to me. I feel as though I've moved on massively, and I have so much day-to-day happiness now. I've refined my philosophy on life, I'm constantly busy, I have plans, I'm eating and living healthy, etc. etc. etc. The only problem left is the blindside. You're rearranging some old folders on your computer and her picture suddenly explodes on your screen, or you're in a restaurant and a song you haven't heard since you were together comes on. I've just been hit as if from nowhere, and now all these old feelings have bubbled up again. I know it'll only last the night, but it's incapacitating. Is this just the toll that I have to pay? Will this carry on forever? I guess you could say she was the first person I truly fell IN LOVE with, but I thought I was completely over it. I don't know. I'm sorry I'm not more coherent right now.
Blue6 Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Right there with you man, long distance gone badly, etc... I am not as far along with you, but I know what your going through.
deux ex machina Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 You don't have to be sorry. That you know it will only last the night is great news, even if you may not see it that way. The waves come at one less and less over time...relative to how you good you feel these days, it does feel awful - but perhaps part of that's from the worry it seemed to trigger (the worry of when it'll leave you entirely). By the way, I like the name of your thread.
soheartbroken Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Similar thing happened to me tonight. Been about 8 months since the split. Was at a movie, and right before it started, a co-worker of mine mentioned that he went on a date with someone who was already in a relationship! BAM! Sent me back months, freaking out about whether she left me for someone (likely the case, I don't know for sure), and worse, really makes me question whether anyone is trustworthy or capable of being loyal. I was totally stuck in the theater and I was almost having a panic attack. Like you, I tell myself this will pass. I bet for you, that as time passes, there will be fewer and fewer triggers. Remember when all it took was seeing a couple holding hands to make you flip out? There might always be a song or a smell though. Music and smell don't really fade much.
spriggig Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Desensitize yourself to the music. Listen to the songs over and over on repeat until they just lose all meaning. About four weeks into my breakup I started listening to sad love songs and songs and artists she loves. It's hard at first but it only takes a few days of this and at least you won't get blindsided by music after you get through it.
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