soleharmony1123 Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 (edited) It seems my ex has complied with my wishes for NC. It's been almost a week now...the longest he's gone without calling, so I guess he's finally got the message. Am I happy - not really? I know I should be happy since not hearing from him or hearing his voicemails is part of the healing process. I'm still in a mass state of confusion over all this and how I had to be soooo adamant with him before he got the message. Now, I don't believe in luck, but I do believe in good fortune, none of which seem to be coming my way. But, I got a job offer last Friday and since it was a change in fields and would have been consistent somewhat with my career goals and college courses, I was very excited. I thought it would be a wonderful challenge. Apart from that, I also thought it would be a position I could put my all into and it would eliminate any time for thinking about the ex. Instead, my first day at work proved to be nothing but chaos. My boss and crew had nothing in place when I arrived. My work area had not been cleaned - nothing. Now, I've worked for law firms most of my career. Within the firms where I've worked, orientation is a cinch. While you're in training/orientation which lasts 2-3 days, your computer and workbay (usually quite spacious) or office is being set up...any furniture needed, your supplies are brought up and set up for you...the whole 9. Well, I walk into this "outfit" supposedly an office and find there's nothing but chaos. I was scheduled to go to a meeting at headquarters about 30 miles away to get all administative paperwork done, etc. That didn't happen. Instead, I was sent to meet with another agency that our agency is affiliated with in assisting families in crisis. The affiliates assumed I was ready to go on a home visit ---- without TRAINING. No one from my agency called to see if everything was going okay. Instead, I had to call them. Their phones were acting up. I've never worked anywhere with so much chaos and disorganization on the first day. I left with no intention of returning...except that a friend of mine had referred me. I couldn't put a negative reflection on her, especially since her boss basically hired me without a formal interview. Still, FOR ME, I could not work with this group. Well, things turned around in my favor because, on my way home, I got a call from the boss asking how my day went and apologizing for not having contacted me before I left work. She asked me what I thought - well, I told her. Turns out she offered me the position without having received administrative OK from headquarters. So, she was basically calling me she had to rescind the job offer until further notice. (What? lol) But, then she was asking me to please be patient and she'd be calling me in a few days after speaking with head office. Sorry, I don't think so. I have my out and I'm taking it. It was sooo bad at one point yesterday that I experienced an "emotional trigger" and found myself asking "oh God, why...with all I'm going through already just trying to get over my ex." Now, it's like old pain has returned and although I'm sticking to NC...I've returned to where I left off. (might not make sense) On the other hand, he had a job interview this past Friday. He probably got the job while I'm still picking up pieces and seems like no matter what, this 7-month no job thing has really got me down. It's like I'm getting close to a breakthough, but I feel like I'm going to break down before I get there. What a day... Edited March 30, 2010 by soleharmony1123
GrayClouds Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 . It's like I'm getting close to a breakthough, but I feel like I'm going to break down before I get there. What a day... Nice rant, I hope you get the new job. Yes it is difficult when your on the edge not knowing if I going to fall or fly, Here is to wings!
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