exoduse22 Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I was a very quiet guy around 3 years ago and people always thought I was a very kind person, but I began to notice that I did not want that kind of character so I wanted to be friends with really fun yet kind people. I was quiet in grade 7 where I was 12 years old until 1st year high school then in 2nd year I decided to make my move. At the start of the year, I was still a bit quiet and I got people to think I was kind, but I still could not find the friends I wanted with that attitude, then a guy who I found friendly approached me and I started to like him (as a friend... I don't swing that way) because he is so fun and at the same time he was popular and made friends with almost everyone in the class, but I did not have confidence since he was popular and I was just a nobody. One day at dismissal time I decided to make my move to get closer to him and I said an insult which was a friendly joke when I said it to my cousin, but I did not know back then that it is something you should not say with someone you're not too close with so he started at my face really closely for around 5 seconds and said something which I cannot explain in English, but was similar to "are you insulting me?", then I realized a few months after that around in the middle of the school year that he really liked me as a friend and wasn't pretending to be nice. I regret doing that and because of that event he began to insult me and make fun of me in front of his friends which one of them Red (not his real name) liked me and felt sad that he was insulting me (which I didn't know because I did not see him as a friend because again a popular person like him friends with me?). I continued on acting kind to him even if he was making fun of me and tried to turn it as a joke, then I became friends with him again until now. Then I am happy with how things are going because I am able to keep this friendship after the school year which I thought wouldn't because he has a lot of popular friends and I wondered why again would someone as popular as him be friends with someone like me, which is something that changed my view on people that people don't always pretend to be kind. I was happy that I had to friendship going, but "Red" hated me at the same time I got Blue(not his real name), the friend I was talking about all this time, become friends with me. Why? It is because when Red came close to Blue and started making jokes and doing fun things I couldn't think of a think to say because I didn't know back then what to say since I did not know how he will react to what I say again because he was higher in the social class and I was scared he would hate me for trying to get close to him, so I just stared and always talked to Blue and unintentionally snobed Red, but he was fine with it and still said hi to me every time we see each other, but as time passed he thought I hated him and began to show these faces I think that showed "why did I make friends with him? he is such a mean guy". From that period onwards (until now), every time we got eye contact he would have this face and look away which really damn hurts and made me depressed the whole day. This really is one of the biggest problems I had the whole year. I was really depressed every time I thought about it and at the end of the year I realized if I talked to him as a friend and did not give in to psychological slavery(seeing someone superior), I would have became friends with him and be friends with his friends, who I find as friends who are really fun and kind unlike the other types who care WAY too much about being cooler than the rest. But even if he doesn't like me I don't hate him because I know I was at fault. Then followed a girl who I do not find appealing. People kept laughing at her (behind our back since she is from another school) because she looked like a guy in our class that was a nerd and I got her and her friends to also hate me after a few months (but i'm not too sure) after we first met because she asked me out to the sophomore night which I know if I went it would give undesirable results. I noticed that you should be kind all kinds people, but if you do not want to be friends with that person don't even begin to get close with that person at all to begin with to prevent those situations.
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