VertexSquared Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Can someone please elucidate this concept for me? I'm in my early 20's and so maybe I don't see any "scamming" yet, especially on eH, but I'd love to hear some additional insights. Do you mean "scam" in terms of people not being honest about themselves, or something more?
bayouboi Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Can someone please elucidate this concept for me? I'm in my early 20's and so maybe I don't see any "scamming" yet, especially on eH, but I'd love to hear some additional insights. Do you mean "scam" in terms of people not being honest about themselves, or something more? I've heard anecdotal stories of women being taken advantage of financially by casanovas, but I would think people not being honest about themselves would be much more prevalent.
boogieboy Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Many people are older than their pics Many profiles are fake - one picture, no description dating sites try to keep you engaged by sending messages from fake profiles people make themselves loook more interesting in their descriptions Whats the matter, you dont have any game to talk to women in person?
DustySaltus Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 When you pay for a site it's a lot less likely to be a scam although the pay sites are now starting to put up a lot of fake profiles to keep you paying. I don't see anything wrong with dating someone you met online but you need to use it as just another resource and not the sole way of meeting women.
sunshinegirl Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 When you pay for a site it's a lot less likely to be a scam although the pay sites are now starting to put up a lot of fake profiles to keep you paying. I don't see anything wrong with dating someone you met online but you need to use it as just another resource and not the sole way of meeting women. Has this been documented / substantiated somewhere? It wouldn't entirely surprise me, but I've never seen evidence that this is actually happening.
flc Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I don't know that the dating sites are scams but scammers do use the data sites to find victims. I know when I was doing online I would get a bunch of email from very young beautiful women claiming to be from Russia and other places. All claiming to be by soul mate. They always wanted to move off the dating site to a yahoo email address. Of course I deleted these but assume some gullible people follow up and at some point the women ask for money to come to the US or for some other reason.
DustySaltus Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Has this been documented / substantiated somewhere? It wouldn't entirely surprise me, but I've never seen evidence that this is actually happening. I'll give you three examples I've seen just by browsing through things: A girl says that she's muslim in her profile but in her picture she's holding what's clearly a beer in her hand. Doesn't make sense. Another girl says she works in California but currently resides in NJ working as a waitress...seems like a tough commute. A third girl created her profile one day and has not logged on since that day, at all and only has one pic.
Crazy Magnet Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I'll give you three examples I've seen just by browsing through things: A girl says that she's muslim in her profile but in her picture she's holding what's clearly a beer in her hand. Doesn't make sense. Another girl says she works in California but currently resides in NJ working as a waitress...seems like a tough commute. A third girl created her profile one day and has not logged on since that day, at all and only has one pic. That doesn't seem like evidence the profiles are "fake." Guess what, people drink, regardless of religious affiliation. It's like saying a Southern Baptists would never have a beer. It happens, I've seen it. The CA/NJ girl....sounds like a ding bat. Lots of people probably create a profile, decide they don't want to do online dating, and then never come back. For me, online dating wasn't a scam. Sure, I got messages from weird creepers, but it's not difficult to delete those. Click.....delete.....gone. How hard is that? I think a lot of people who claim online dating is a scam are those who don't have any success with it. These seem to be the same people who have no success IRL. Guess what, going online isn't going to magically fix your problems and make hot women everywhere throw themselves at you. I think many people also expect if they pay for something then they WILL get results simply b/c they paid for it. Dating was easy for me IRL, so it was easy for me online as well. Same for my BF (whom I met on eHarmony). He got plenty of dates IRL, but decided to try online to see what it was all about. He was dating 3 or 4 other girls when he met me and I was doing the same. Sure there are scammers out there, but I get the impression that those who complain about the "scam" are those who have no success and want instant gratification b/c they "pay".
DustySaltus Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 That doesn't seem like evidence the profiles are "fake." Guess what, people drink, regardless of religious affiliation. It's like saying a Southern Baptists would never have a beer. It happens, I've seen it. The CA/NJ girl....sounds like a ding bat. She said she was a devout muslim....they can't drink at all. Doesn't make any sense. The CA girl sais she currently lives in CA but currently works as a waitress in NJ, no one is that stupid.
sunshinegirl Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 She said she was a devout muslim....they can't drink at all. Doesn't make any sense. The CA girl sais she currently lives in CA but currently works as a waitress in NJ, no one is that stupid. Don't smear the pay sites: I think you are merely underestimating the human capacity for stupid.
Crazy Magnet Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 She said she was a devout muslim....they can't drink at all. Doesn't make any sense. The CA girl sais she currently lives in CA but currently works as a waitress in NJ, no one is that stupid. I've seen "devout" Southern Baptists drink before. I've seen preacher's daughters sleep around and get pregnant. I've seen many very religious people do a lot of "things" that didn't go along with their beliefs. It doesn't mean the profile is fake, it means the person is a nut job. I bet she has guilt and shame issues. lol Yeah, you've got to set the human intelligence bar much lower. Ha! I had a guy close me on eharmony using "in another relationship" as a reason, and then he messaged me on another site 2 days later. So yeah, stupid people abound. I had the same profile pic on both sites. What a moron. Delete and BLOCK.
Disillusioned Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 It's too easy to abuse the system. Anyone can steal pics and put up a fake dating site to rob people. Men pretend to be women all the time on those sites. If you get banned, you can just move to another dating site. Online dating has neen so abused by the webmasters AND the users that it just isn't workable anymore. 'Nuff said.
OpenGL Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 It's a scam in the sense of "women" who is likely to respond to your emails are either 40 year old guys or morbidly obese.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 A friend of mine used Match for a while and was getting a lot of 'winks' and 'messages' from women, but if he wanted to contact the person, he would have to use the paid option to do that. So, he did and the 'winks' and 'messages' basically dried up... until it was time to pay again. Then he'd start getting them again but they never led to him actually meeting anyone. He didn't stay with it long. It wasn't worth the money really.
bac Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 I don't know that the dating sites are scams but scammers do use the data sites to find victims. I know when I was doing online I would get a bunch of email from very young beautiful women claiming to be from Russia and other places. All claiming to be by soul mate. They always wanted to move off the dating site to a yahoo email address. Of course I deleted these but assume some gullible people follow up and at some point the women ask for money to come to the US or for some other reason. what is wrong with giving girls your email address? I guess nothing wrong. Many people prefer to use personal email address because they see you as a person who they want to get to know. it is easier and more personal. Communication is too shallow and superficial when you email on dating sites. It gives an impression that you are emailing tons of girls and basically you can not remember anything about any of them.
bac Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 It's too easy to abuse the system. Anyone can steal pics and put up a fake dating site to rob people. Men pretend to be women all the time on those sites. I have this problem all the time. When a man IM me on dating site, they are often sure that I am a dude. They expect me to IM them the typical small talk BS that they get every time when they IM to a woman. I have no idea how they do not get tired to write and receive the same boring BS all the time just to waste their own personal time. I just can not write the same BS anymore to them, so I write something creative and funny. As result of that, they are sure that I am a dude inspite of my pics and profile.
Wallace1 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 (edited) I've actually had a good experience with Match, though I've only been on it about 2 months... Not all of the very attractive women are fake, you just have to be attractive enough yourself to get them to respond. Whether that means looks/profile writing/things in photos/email writing ability, I have no clue. Also, I've gotten winks or "she's interested" almost everyday since joining, so I don't think its a scam. I will say that of the 6 women I've met from there so far, 2 of them CLEARLY had major issues (physical abuse, etc.) that led them to a dating site after they'd given up on their own social circle, and the rest were fully expecting me to be WAY different than my profile showed. I heard Things like "Wow, you're actually cool and the same as your profile suggested, I keep waiting to find out whats 'wrong' with you". At the end of the day, the quality of women I've hooked up with has been only slightly better than what I've found by simply approaching women during the day at places like grocery stores, malls, sporting events, etc., I won't be renewing. Edited March 31, 2010 by Wallace1
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