breakbeat Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Instead of making things better between us I just made it worse and worse to the point now that she doesn't even 'speak' with me any more. I made it worse because I was acting stupid and paranoia towards her. Let me explain ... About 3 weeks ago she sent me a message on FB telling me that she would delete her account , because she couldn't 'manage' it any more. I wont go into details why because that's rather personal. lets just say that she has got many issues of her own in her life (has got nothing to do with me). I was OK with it but then ... a week passed by and she still was on FB. Then the next Monday I didn't see her on FB and I immediately went into panic mode and quickly sent her an e-mail : why did you delete me from your friend list ??? I guess I don't have to tell you guys the response I got from her It's not only this .. I made so many foolish mistakes before this one , WHY WHY WHY did I do this ? The woman of my life ! (still think this) and I let her slip through my fingers ! My gosh I feel so terrible of my behaviour, I don't know if I can fully forgive myself for all this Now it's been 3 weeks since I heard anything from her and I started to worry about it (still love her very much) so yesterday I sent her a 'quick' mail just asking her how she was doing. I did NOT get an answer and it's killing me ! (why didn't i just stick with NC ? I guess I'm just too emotional) Now I was thinking to finally tell her how i feel and the reasons why I acted so stupid and 'childish' as she always told me. (I never REALLY told her my REAL feelings towards her since she 'dumped' me .. there was never a 'dumping' but we just kinda slipped away from each other, she never talked about it :s) She has this 'image' of me now that I'm childish and immature (and I really was sometimes).. is there any way (or chance) to alter that image ? I made a draft mail already but I'm not sure if I should send it or not. So .. should I or shouldn't I send it ??
9Lives Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I am right where you are. Mines is drafted and ready go to the man I wanted to be in my life for good. But EVERYONE says no. I have made alot of mistakes myself just like you. I tortured myself about it but everyone says dont send it. Just leave it alone and dont do it. I am now believing that I really need to let it go and not do it. I really dont think it will make things better or change anything. Just hold off....dont do it.....give yourself some time to get a clear head....get more advice....and then it will turn out better. But right this moment....no..dont send it. It will make thing worst
Weird Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 do not send it. the best solution here is to just let time sort things out and her tune may change in time. I was in a similar situation to yours and I pressed like an idiot and it just made things worse to the point of a big blow up and I figured I'd never hear from her again based on what happened and the fact she pretty much told me off. A little less than 1.5 years later she contacted me and wanted to apologize for things. Had I sent an apology letter (and I had one written out) in the months after that I doubt it'd have been received well since she'd have still been mad. So just go NC and see where that takes you. I know it is tough but it is the best way to handle things.
Author breakbeat Posted March 30, 2010 Author Posted March 30, 2010 Thanks 9lives and Weird .. I'll just stick to NC and try to move on with my life (it's so damn hard , I cannot STOP thinking about her). Again , thank you .. I really appreciate it
Weird Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 You're welcome. Yeah, it is tough to think about someone when nothing really comes from it, at least in the present time. It does get easier the more you are not directly reminded of them (ie conversing with them) as you start to focus on other things and realize most of one's life was spent without them in it and things went fine so they surely can be moving forward. And with your situation of being paranoid/pressing, I again know what that is like and I regret doing it sooooo much which is why I don't want anyone else to ever do it. I know doing it from a care/love standpoint makes sense but sadly that isn't enough. People seem to like it more when others ignore them or show indifference rather than just being told their feelings. It's odd.
9Lives Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 yeah it looks like me and Wierd know "exactly" where you are coming from. I promise you...you are doing the right thing. Like i said, I messed up bad and I want to fix it but I need to just let things be. He dont want to talk to me. I have to respect it. I promise...you are doing the best thing. Dont change it.
Author breakbeat Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 Thanks both of you .. After re-reading my draft mail I'm glad that I didn't send it ! It would just make it worse , and she would even see me more as 'immature' .. I am quite sure of it. I just have to move on and forget about it ! I think this time I'm strong enough to cope with it.. Greetz , BB
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