broken33 Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I have been reading posts on here for awhile. I decided to finally post because I really need help. I am devastated to this day over a year after the breakeup. I cry almost everyday. I tear up when I think of him or see something that reminds me of him. I really dont know what to do. I have done NC, I have tried to be friendly with him, I go out with friends, I work, I workout, I have even gone on dates! Nothing helps! I am still a mess. We broke up after dating for almost 3 years. He claimed the relationship wasnt normal, that I was crazy, and that my family would never accept him-we had cultural differences. I told him that they would and if they didnt I would never leave him anyway. He told me in March he wanted a break I felt like it came out of the blue, during our break we still talked and we hung out once. Then in June/July it was official that it was over he even cried when we broke up and I have never seen him cry claiming he still loved me but it just wasnt going to work, after he met someone else and decided to have a fling. I was devasted needless to say. I ended up going out of the country for six weeks to visit family and get away. During that time he contacted me and kept telling me we would talk once I got back (obviously things with the fling didnt workout). I got back and he avoided my messages, finally he told me it was because he had started dating someone new. I then did the whole crazy exgf thing calling begging crying praying to god even calling psychics. Obviously it didnt work. I then went NC. Recently he texted me we started randomly texting and then due to me finding out that I had some serious health issues he called me twice. After he found out I was OK the calls stopped. Here is the weird thing its the first time since I was out of the country this was back in August that we had talked on the phone, he called me baby once during the conversation. Maybe it was out of habit. Last I heard he was still with his gf I obviously never asked him. The calls even messages stopped after he found out I was OK. Before he started dating me he had not had a serious gf in years and I think it is so weird for him to jump into a serious relationship only 3 months after we officially broke up. He is now 33 and I am 28. I cry almost everyday. I try so hard to get over him and I just cant. I dont know why but I feel like he is the true love of my life. My heart literally hurts, other times its just numb like its not even there. I feel like he loves me too still ( I know this sounds crazy) but I feel it. And even when he called me I could tell in his voice. Please give me some advice, words of encouragement or tips to help me get over him and move on. Or just your thoughts on my situation. Thanks!
skydiveaddict Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 first, find whatever you can do to occupy your time. Do you have close friends? lean on them, ask them for support.Keep yourself busy at all times; go for a run, hit the gym, take up a new hobby (you will meet tons of guys skydiving), work ot. Make sure you keep your friends close, trust them. This will pass in time believe me good luck to ya
Author broken33 Posted March 30, 2010 Author Posted March 30, 2010 I have been keeping busy. I work during the day, go to the gym in the evenings, hang out with friends and family daily and I belong to many groups and organizations that take up alot of my time. I do everything to stay busy but he is still on my mind! Even when I work! Do you guys think its normal to still be so upset about my break up after 1 year?
skydiveaddict Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I have been keeping busy. I work during the day, go to the gym in the evenings, hang out with friends and family daily and I belong to many groups and organizations that take up alot of my time. I do everything to stay busy but he is still on my mind! Even when I work! Do you guys think its normal to still be so upset about my break up after 1 year? Yes it's normal. I am going through the exact same thing my friend I still hurt too
MrsPeaSoup Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Do you have any good, reliable friends/acquaintances whom you can talk to? I mean the kind of people with life experiences and who almost act like a shrink. They can be very objective with the situation, which can be very helpful. To give you an example: I've talked to the mother of a dear friend of mine (who by accident works at a shrink office), but she's a very good listener and tried to find out where it all went wrong. Other person I talked to was my philosophy teacher back in high school and he's a religious man and he really helped me: he even prayed for me with his wife! Even though I'm not religious myself, I still felt comforted after that. Well and if you don't know these kind of people, why not going to a real shrink? I don't meand that you're crazy or something, absolutely NOT! But talking to an objective person can be very helpful. Hope it will help you a little bit Be strong!
Author broken33 Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 Thanks for replying. I do have friends I can talk to BUT 1. think they are sick of hearing it and 2. they dont really give advice they just say it takes time or everything happens for a reason. I know what you mean about talking to a shrink I have thought about it but unfortunately I dont have any extra money at this point and I am not sure I feel comftorable talking to a stranger you know? I know it sounds crazy but I really feel like he still loves me to but he is forcing himself not to...who knows maybe I really am crazy and need a shrink haha
Author broken33 Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 Yes it's normal. I am going through the exact same thing my friend I still hurt too How long ago was your breakup? Do you still cry? Do you feel any better then you did at first?
HockeyMom Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 Broken, You don't have to be crazy to see a therapist. I go to mine once a week and I'd probably be crazy if I didn't go... My friends also got sick of listening to me and just don't want to hear it anymore. Seeing a therapist wasn't enough for me. I knew early on that I don't want to feel the pain that I was feeling and I needed meds to help take the edge off. So I also see someone else that prescribes meds for me. Neither of those completely fix my problems of missing him and wanting him back, so yes I do also still cry alot... Just keep doing what you're doing but consider seeing a therapist to help you sort through your feelings... It can't hurt, it can only help. You're lucky that you're as busy as you are. Just keep getting up every day and go about your business... good luck and keep us posted.
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