paraboloid Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Hi all, Last wednesday, I met this girl in my calculus class sitting beside me and she actually started talking to me first. We didn't really say much, but she seemed very receptive and laughed at the things I said, though I wouldn't even call them jokes. Her friend butted in, but instead of freezing, I invited her into the conversation and it all went very smoothly. As I left she asked me if I'd finished the homework due the next day to which I sighed "nooo" sacarstically. I reciprocated her question and she mimed my delivery. I left class thinking: next week I'm going to sit next to her, chat her up a little more and actually introduce myself properly as we did not divulge our names. Then I'd maybe ask for her email or facebook details. I talked to a platonic friend of mine who thought it was smoothe that I 'slow played it.' Unfortunately, ten minutes before class started today, the sickening 'fight or flight' anxiety overcame me. I walked into the class and saw her talking to her friend and it was like I went on autopilot and sat down near the front never once making eye contact. After I'd sat down, I felt like I'd made a huge mistake, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I was paralyzed with my irrational fear. This fear has always stricken me, and has held me back when the moment counted. It's like the anticipation just zaps my courage. Any advice for my troubles?
troggleputty Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Hi all, Last wednesday, I met this girl in my calculus class sitting beside me and she actually started talking to me first. We didn't really say much, but she seemed very receptive and laughed at the things I said, though I wouldn't even call them jokes. Her friend butted in, but instead of freezing, I invited her into the conversation and it all went very smoothly. As I left she asked me if I'd finished the homework due the next day to which I sighed "nooo" sacarstically. I reciprocated her question and she mimed my delivery. I left class thinking: next week I'm going to sit next to her, chat her up a little more and actually introduce myself properly as we did not divulge our names. Then I'd maybe ask for her email or facebook details. I talked to a platonic friend of mine who thought it was smoothe that I 'slow played it.' Unfortunately, ten minutes before class started today, the sickening 'fight or flight' anxiety overcame me. I walked into the class and saw her talking to her friend and it was like I went on autopilot and sat down near the front never once making eye contact. After I'd sat down, I felt like I'd made a huge mistake, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I was paralyzed with my irrational fear. This fear has always stricken me, and has held me back when the moment counted. It's like the anticipation just zaps my courage. Any advice for my troubles? Cognitive therapy. Or, get drunk if you want to be able to talk to girls.
boogieboy Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 The reason you had a fear is because you felt creepy wanting to sit next to them when you didnt really get to know them yet. You were probably right to do what you did, creates mystery. Next time you see them walking, then you say hi and bring up something funny about the class...but make sure you dont walk straight up to them. Make it look like you happen to be passing by them.
phineas Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 And for God sakes DON'T ask for e-mail or facebook. Does this make anyone else cringe? It makes me cringe.
boogieboy Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 And for God sakes DON'T ask for e-mail or facebook. Does this make anyone else cringe? It makes me cringe. I also got the douche chills from this.
Author paraboloid Posted March 30, 2010 Author Posted March 30, 2010 The reason you had a fear is because you felt creepy wanting to sit next to them when you didnt really get to know them yet. You were probably right to do what you did, creates mystery. Next time you see them walking, then you say hi and bring up something funny about the class...but make sure you dont walk straight up to them. Make it look like you happen to be passing by them. Makes sense. Thanks for the tip. And for God sakes DON'T ask for e-mail or facebook. Does this make anyone else cringe? It makes me cringe. I figured everyone has it, but fair enough. Is there a better option?
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