Author John Who Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 I wasn't chastizing JW for his EA. Who really cares what he did years ago? Read carefully my response and try not to insert information from other responses into what I said. My point is TODAY, present day, his exW is getting married and for him to mooo about his residual feelings when his exW has made a commitment, a present day choice, to get married. IMO, it's interference in her life and just plain selfish. He needs to leave her alone. He can mooo here, he can mooo in a journal, his pastor or a friend. But to involve his exW is incredibly immature and self. What does he expect to gain? JW needs to start to show some respect for his commitments and those others have made too. My God, I'd warn all women to stay away from this immature, self absorbed Romeo. Could it possibly get more obvious, it's all about him, him, him! You got me completely wrong,Im not selfesh and it is not about me,me,me. I have stayed away from my XW never getting in her business,being here for here when she needed me dropping everything for her at the drop of a hat she knows she can depend on me. Never have I told her who to date or what to do,we have talked about my EA and she has forgivin me,but I know it still hurts her for what I did,and that is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I want her to be happy,damn I just lost it for a moment and told her how I felt my real feelings,which Im sure she already knew. Im not selfesh, not at all. 1
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 So...Are you willing to let the idea of you and her getting back together go? It's 3 yrs later why didnt you try to get back with her sooner or was you stubborn and or she didnt love you anymore. I mean she's marrying someone else. Maybe it's time to move on yourself and find someone else. I dont understand why people do that, still have feelings even though it's years later and their ex has moved on. Forge ahead with your own life and be better on your own. So she's getting remarried, so what?
OFGnomore Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 You got me completely wrong,Im not selfesh and it is not about me,me,me. I have stayed away from my XW never getting in her business,being here for here when she needed me dropping everything for her at the drop of a hat she knows she can depend on me. Never have I told her who to date or what to do,we have talked about my EA and she has forgivin me,but I know it still hurts her for what I did,and that is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I want her to be happy,damn I just lost it for a moment and told her how I felt my real feelings,which Im sure she already knew. Im not selfesh, not at all. I'm glad you acknowledge that your ex carries pain. But from your posting, your pain comes first. You just "lost" it again (your pain overwhelmed you) and you had to share your feelings which you assume she already knew. I'm sure you "lost it" when you got involved in an EA too. See the pattern? Your feelings and needs come first. And does your ex know she can depend on you? She told you that? Even after you betrayed her in an EA? Hmmn, and she divorced you afterward. That action sounds like she could not depend on you. Anyway, I certainly hope you keep your distance from this new union. She's going to be married soon and your feelings of old love for her are not her priority nor should you force that knowledge on her. She has a new man to depend on emotionally and otherwise. It really would be inappropriate for you to give her assistance in any way unless it involves children you may have together. I hope, for your exWs sake, you really these 2 alone. Good luck on your journey. I hope you have the courage to take it.
Cinnamon2000 Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 You got me completely wrong,Im not selfesh and it is not about me,me,me. I have stayed away from my XW never getting in her business,being here for here when she needed me dropping everything for her at the drop of a hat she knows she can depend on me. Never have I told her who to date or what to do,we have talked about my EA and she has forgivin me,but I know it still hurts her for what I did,and that is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I want her to be happy,damn I just lost it for a moment and told her how I felt my real feelings,which Im sure she already knew. Im not selfesh, not at all. Aren't you glad you didn't have kids together?
Kenyth Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 JW, I think you got a lot to learn about love still. It's a 2 way street. Often times, loss brings great pain, and great pain can be a fierce teacher. So far, it's seems you missed the lesson. Heal yourself first, and then, you may be in a position to find great love as YGG talks about. What I'm finding in my journey is the the healthier you get the less you will seek out a wonderful spouse or partner to get you to that state of contentment. It will already be there. This is a very insightful statement.
Kenyth Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 So...Are you willing to let the idea of you and her getting back together go? It's 3 yrs later why didnt you try to get back with her sooner or was you stubborn and or she didnt love you anymore. I mean she's marrying someone else. Maybe it's time to move on yourself and find someone else. I dont understand why people do that, still have feelings even though it's years later and their ex has moved on. Forge ahead with your own life and be better on your own. So she's getting remarried, so what? Me either. Even when I was doing it. Sometimes people get "stuck" in the healing process. I imagine it has a lot to do with a lack of supporting friends and family.
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