How do you deal with rude, stuck-up, stand-off-ish or hostile girls?

March 31, 2010

How isn't that weak and/or reactive?

Because it takes a set of brass balls to have the confidence in yourself to not always have the last word with people.

March 31, 2010

Because it takes a set of brass balls to have the confidence in yourself to not always have the last word with people.

Hardly. Anyone can walk away. It doesn't require "confidence" or "brass balls". It's just as weak and reactive.

March 31, 2010

There is no way to avoid having your feelings hurt when people are rude to you unless you're a robot.

No doubt. It's pretty clear that the point here is to make such activity not worthwhile to the perpetrator by creating negative consequences for them.

March 31, 2010

I asked this before but didn't get a lot of feed back. If you're genuinely just trying to be friendly and meet a girl (you're not "hollering" at her' date=' cat-calling her or otherwise harassing her) but she either being stand-off-ish, stonewalling you completely, or being rude and hostile, what's the best way to respond? What can a guy do or say that's not either weak nor reactive?[/quote']

There is a difference between a girl that is stand-offish and one that is completely hostile. Some women may start out as stand-offish, then graduate to hostile if they are pestered. My advice is to walk away from someone that is stand-offish because that is a red light in the first place, so no point in trying to make progress with her.

If you encounter a girl like this, just walk away and pretend she doesn't exist. If you see her again, don't give her the satisfaction of even looking her way.

March 31, 2010

This thread demonstrates an amusing diversion of opinion along gender lines that you often see on loveshack. So far, most females have suggested responding to rudeness by saying nothing and simply walking away, while most males have suggested saying something to punish the girl for being rude. I guess it's not surprising, as women approach OP's question from the "rude girl's" perspective, and want the OP to treat her the way they'd like to be treated in a similar situation. Guys, on the other hand, identify with the "victim" and hence suggest fighting fire with fire.And that is one reason why as a man, you should never take dating-related advice from women (and probably vice versa).

Anyone who tells you that it takes balls to "be a better man" and walk away in silence is not being honest. Cowering and walking away in shame is the easiest course of action and something that would give the "rude girl" an ego boost and the satisfaction of knowing that she has just ruined your day. It's standing up for yourself and not letting others (whether male or female) treat you like sh*t is what takes balls.

The easiest way to bring a b*tchy woman down a few notches is through a direct, hostile confrontation (though nothing physical, of course). Women are good at spreading rumors and other underhanded tactics, but they are usually afraid of direct face to face confrontations, especially with strangers. So if she's acting stand-offish or downright rude, call her out and embarrass her in front of her friends by telling her what an arrogant, stuck up b*tch she is (but don't let yourself get angy - say it in a calm, collected manner). Chances are, she would have no idea how to respond to that because nothing like that has ever happened to her before and she's used to guys walking away embarrassed. I can also guarantee that it would ruin the rest of her day.

March 31, 2010

This would make my day. If a guy responded in that manner to my rejection, my friends and I would be laughing about it for months.

No, you wouldn't. You're just putting on a brave face. Most girls would get unfazed in a situation like that - I've seen that happen many times. Women generally can't handle aggression from strangers very well.

March 31, 2010

Exactly right.

Auto spell check error. It was supposed to be dazed.

March 31, 2010

LOL...that's why you need to pick your fights carefully

Edited March 31, 2010 by Johnny M

March 31, 2010

This would make my day. If a guy responded in that manner to my rejection, my friends and I would be laughing about it for months.

Bingo.

Also it's not your place to take it upon yourself to "punish" people for being rude. Who the f- do you think you are? Her daddy?

March 31, 2010

Bingo.

Also it's not your place to take it upon yourself to "punish" people for being rude. Who the f- do you think you are? Her daddy?

If someone treats you rudely, there's nothing wrong with making him/her feel upset in return. It's only fair.

March 31, 2010

There is a difference between a girl that is stand-offish and one that is completely hostile. Some women may start out as stand-offish, then graduate to hostile if they are pestered. My advice is to walk away from someone that is stand-offish because that is a red light in the first place, so no point in trying to make progress with her.

If you encounter a girl like this, just walk away and pretend she doesn't exist. If you see her again, don't give her the satisfaction of even looking her way.

Once again, I HATE just walking away; how does walking away show any sign of dignity or self-respect? It just shows that what she did or said really hurt me.

March 31, 2010

If someone treats you rudely, there's nothing wrong with making him/her feel upset in return. It's only fair.

It depends, but in any case, it's not your duty to punish people for their bad behavior.

If I tell a rude person to f- off, it's for my own gratification, not because I'm presumptuous enough to think that it's my responsibility to "correct" their behavior.

March 31, 2010

I think you must be missing something about the 'vibe' that is being given out in these situations if you keep getting this response. As in the other thread, posters have advised you that girls in clubs are often in 'bitchy' mode, and so it often is not the best place to start 'cold calls'.

Remember, these girls don't live at the clubs, you CAN meet them in other settings. Meat markets are not warm fuzzy places. These girls will often make sport of shooting guys down.

March 31, 2010

Once again' date=' I HATE just walking away; how does walking away show any sign of dignity or self-respect? It just shows that what she did or said really hurt me.[/quote']

You laugh and say "ah your breath stinks anyway...."

March 31, 2010

When a girl seems a bit standoffish in a club, she's either testing you or she's stone-cold rejecting you. If it's the first case, you have to be able to laugh it off and come back with something funny, unique and in the moment. If it's the second case, you deal with it and move on. She doesn't want what you're selling. Why waste your time? You aren't in grade school.

March 31, 2010

It depends, but in any case, it's not your duty to punish people for their bad behavior.

If I tell a rude person to f- off, it's for my own gratification, not because I'm presumptuous enough to think that it's my responsibility to "correct" their behavior.

Precisely. It's not a matter of "duty" to teach them in very painful ways that they should treat one with respect. It's one's preference, done "for one's own gratification".

March 31, 2010

Rudeness hurts to the degree that you need validation from the person you are approaching. When you approach someone, if you are relying on them to validate your worth, to reflect and boost your value, then you risk being damaged if they reply negatively - it lowers your value in your own eyes, and you feel the need to take aggressive action to stem that loss, to "recover the power."

So my point is, it doesn't "take confidence" to walk away - rather it demonstrates confidence and the fact that you don't need the validation of that person to continue to feel confident and worthwhile.

It's the difference between this:

Me: I will talk to this person, and hope that she responds positively so I will feel worthwhile.

Her: I'm going to respond rudely.

Me: Now I feel less worthy. I need to do something to feel better, so I will demonstrate power by striking back.

and this:

Me: I will talk to this person to see if she might be interesting, to see if she is worth my time.

Her: I'm going to respond rudely.

Me: Well, clearly she is not worth my time, but that is a reflection on her and not on me. I'll move on and not waste any more of my energy on her.

It sounds a little silly, but that's the subtext, and that's the difference between those who need to gratify themselves and reinflate their sense of self-worth by striking back, and those who can just move on and walk away with true confidence.

So one who automatically characterizes "walking away" as "tucking tail and running" sees it that way because it would be, for him: he feels a need to prove his worth, and that's because his worth was threatened by the rude response.

On the other hand, someone whose confident view of his own self-worth is not compromised has no need to waste any more energy after a rude rejection. There's no need to "build up the confidence" to walk away, but rather, walking away is a natural outcome of having confidence in the first place, and not tying one's self-worth into the reflection of a rude reaction from someone else.

March 31, 2010

Let's be honest here: men are rarely "just being friendly." Men almost never go out of their way to befriend women unless they are attracted to them. Almost never. Women know this, and have their defense up. I don;t what you mean by "stuck up." Frankly, many guys I know will call any woman who rejects their advances "stuck up." It's like they think women owe it to them to act interested. They don't.

True, why does anyone think they owe anyone else conversation? These guys say they are just being friendly. They aren't and we know it.

Sometimes we women just want to be left alone with out a constant barrage of nonsense 247 from horny men.

I bet if an ugly girl walks up to a guy in a bar and does the same thing trying to start a conversation I bet he would either just flat out ignore her or make some rude comment about her appearance.

March 31, 2010

No, you wouldn't. You're just putting on a brave face. Most girls would get unfazed in a situation like that - I've seen that happen many times. Women generally can't handle aggression from strangers very well.

It might intimidate a 15 year old but try that with someone older and you might just get your block knocked off. I had some 20 something year old punks think they were going to intimidate me and I went psycho on them. Scared the bleep out of them and they ran away.

March 31, 2010

No, you wouldn't. You're just putting on a brave face. Most girls would get unfazed in a situation like that - I've seen that happen many times. Women generally can't handle aggression from strangers very well.

So you're not actually talking about dealing with this calmly after all. You're talking about employing aggression.

There's a difference between rudeness and aggression. The former might offend sensibilities or feelings, but it isn't threatening. If you're responding aggressively to what you perceive as rudeness from a woman you made unsolicited advances towards, and if she happens to have male friends in the vicinity, you are most probably going to get someone's fist in your face. So any suggestion that guys reading this forum should employ that aggressive approach in response to rudeness from a strange woman in a bar is pretty silly.

If you're approaching a group of strange women in the hope of striking up conversation with them, and with the slightly longer term aim of getting one of them into bed, it's on you to make an acceptable approach that isn't creepy or offensive. If a woman responds rudely to you it might be because she's a bitch. Or it might be that the approach you thought would be cheeky, interesting or charming just comes across as dickish or obnoxious. Especially if you've had a drink or two.

Unless you're 100% certain that no reasonable women could possibly perceive you as an unwelcome intrusion into their conversation, it might be best just to cut your losses when you get a rude response, and walk away...rather than crossing the line into complete tosserdom and berating strangers you've approached for not mincing their words in letting you know they aren't interested.

March 31, 2010

The easiest way to bring a b*tchy woman down a few notches is through a direct, hostile confrontation (though nothing physical, of course). Women are good at spreading rumors and other underhanded tactics, but they are usually afraid of direct face to face confrontations, especially with strangers.

You must be prepubescent to make such a suggestion. That is just asking for a brawl.

Unlike men, women normally don't go out and about alone. They almost always travel in groups, usually with one or more men affiliated with the group. It is too dangerous to go out alone as a female.

Barring that, if she is alone she is likely friends with someone on staff at the bar - either the bartender, or doormen, or waitresses. I mean, that's how I rolled when I went out.

I have to say that every single guy friend I have would be completely willing to stomp the face in of any man who approached me with any kind of aggression - physical or not.

March 31, 2010

I asked this before but didn't get a lot of feed back. If you're genuinely just trying to be friendly and meet a girl (you're not "hollering" at her' date=' cat-calling her or otherwise harassing her) but she either being stand-off-ish, stonewalling you completely, or being rude and hostile, what's the best way to respond? What can a guy do or say that's not either weak nor reactive?[/quote']

If I get this...

I usually proceed to immediately ask them:

"How much do you charge for a Blow Job and Anal Sex"

that always gets their attention. You should try it sometimes...

March 31, 2010

Just walk away laughing from such a girl mate. She isn't worth a second of your time!

March 31, 2010

If a girl ignores me completely?

" Ok Miiss Mannequin, have a great day, good luck with your hearing problem."

Walk away...

The particularity nasty in your face girls?

Sniff air near them, make face..

"All of a sudden something smells like a$$"

walk away...

March 31, 2010

Some of the responses in this thread are quite amusing

Sign In

How do you deal with rude, stuck-up, stand-off-ish or hostile girls?

Recommended Posts

WTRanger

Lights

Lights

D-Lish

Johnny M

Johnny M

Johnny M

Johnny M

sweetjasmine

Johnny M

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

sweetjasmine

dazzle22

boogieboy

sullysteve

Lights

Trimmer

SarahRose

SarahRose

Taramere

blind_otter

OndaChin

lino

sumdude

Johnny M

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...