Mkdons4eva Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 (edited) Hello, new to this forum I broke up with my girlfriend in December after 3 years. It was both are first real relationship, and we lost our virginity to each other. We did everything together, we saw each other every day, we went on holiday together, to Barbados and Italy and she was the only person i could open up to and be myself around. We met just before my 17th birthday, she was the girl id be waiting for. During our relationship, we went through tough times, at one point after a year or so, we broke up (my decision) but after only 2 days i relised id made the biggest mistake of my life and we got back together. In december (2009), after a few recent arguements, she decided to ended it with me. I blame myself, i didnt treat her how i should have and cant get the regret out of my head, its all i think about every second of the day. I didnt realise what i had. She knows how gutted i am, iv tried almost everything to get her back, but she just told me she doesnt feel that way about me anymore. Its so gutting because she loved me so much, she always wanted to see me and now nothing. Anyway, its been 3 months and im still a mess. I started to get better, but then the worst thing that could have happened did. My best friend, who i saw everyday, was also good friends with my girlfriend, and we all saw each other all the time. During the break up, we all hung around together and because i couldnt stay at home because i didnt want to have time to think about her, i could always rely on him to invite me over and go out somewhere. Ok, so i knew they were close, but i knew they were great mates, and she always assured me that they were friends and got angry when i said anything. Anyway, my friend posted a status on facebook which was "decision, decision Eh", i dont know why but it made me think somthing was going on, i asked him what it ment and he said he couldnt decided what film to watch, i knew this was balls. Few days later, another status "sooo complicated" I was at work at the time, and spoke to someone about it to see what they thought, she revealed that she knew something was going on and they liked each other and she had stayed round his house that night. My heartbroke, id never felt pain like this, seriously never. I was so angry, i phoned my ex and just shouted in shock that i wanted to see her, confront her. We talked and she said she couldn't help her feelings, annoying thing is, i need her in my life, shes the only one i can open up to. 2 days later, its moved on alot, i txt my friend asking why he thought it was ok and all this stuff, i was expecting a reply that went "Sorry mate, we are just friends, i know its wrong and it wont happen again" but all i got was "sorry mate, things have changed you've got to let her go" he said hes moving to spain with her a that was another reason we broke up as she wanted to move away, and now hes going with her! Im so gutted that iv lost my best mate and my girl. Iv got no one there for me anymore, i cant be friends with him as he has hurt me so much, id never get with a mates ex when i knew how he felt about her and what they went through, its just so wrong. Im still in shock that its happened. I cant look at him, cant look at photos of him, i hate him so much. What makes it worse is all 3 of us work together!!! Its been hell, and its so awkward, im still on speaking terms with my ex which helps, but however much i want to be friends with my ex best mate i cant, not for what hes done. I need to know what i should do? What would you do? I see no way out, i look at other girls and none compare to my ex, all i want is her. i cant believe he is with her, it makes me feel sick and i dont eat anymore. Thanks and sorry for the long post!! Edited March 30, 2010 by Mkdons4eva
GrayClouds Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 First of all breath, and second know that it really sucks. Understand all that your feeling right now is justified and natural. Not only do you have to face a break-up, you have betrayal too. These two are only concern about themselves and it is time you follow suit. I suggest at work be polite and to the point but other then that practice No Contact (no talk, no email, block facy-facebook, no Im, no TxTs) with these two. You need to give yourself as much space as possible to help you get over this, and you will. But it will take longer if your try to befriend either on of them, and why would you want to concider how ****ty they choose to behave. Read these two links and do what then say, it will make it easier, not easy, but easier: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance? And keep posting.
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