Blue6 Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 I am not sure why I am posting this in coping because it's exactly what I am not doing. To be perfectly honest, I don't want to exist anymore. I've reached a place of extreme self disgust and disappointment in myself, actions and life that I have led to this point. Consider this nothing other then a rant or a vent. I have the misfortune of wearing my emotions on my sleeves at all times and to top it all off I am a sensitive guy. I've realized that these qualities have been working against me for 25 years and brought me to a place that I don't think I can come back from. As a result of this, I lost a job I loved and even worse I lost "that girl" who with all her flaws I loved deeply. All of my romantic relationships have ended because the girl left and long distance didn't quite work out. And this time around, this one particular girl who I sacrifice so much for could only tell me how worthless I was. I haven't been able to erase her words from the front end of my mind and replay them often. After forming such a close intimate bond with her, becoming part of her family, the best she could do was tell me how worthless I am. Something in my mind snapped that night that I don't know how to fight or rebound from. I've started drinking, gained a ton of weight and have lost all interest in life as I've known it. I just don't care and I know how pathetic I must sound as I ramble on, but my demons have come to the surface and I am too weak to fight them off. I wish I was a better and stronger man to rise to the occasion and stand up for myself. I don't know if i'll be here by the end of the week.
Rearden Metal Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 That last sentence is a cry for help. Call someone close to you NOW and tell them you're having overwhelming negative thoughts. You need to snap out of this ASAP. Nobody expects you to be instantly happy, but you have been granted a healthy body and the gift of life, and it's your job to preserve it and make the best of your opportunity. Take a stroll down to the Cancer ward if you want to see what pain looks like. My father, aunt, uncle and grandparents were all consumed by cancer before they were 60. Think about the opportunity you have, with your health, to make something positive of the terrible experiences you've had. Make art. Make music. Talk to people. Do something, anything (but drinking). Do it now. Get off the computer.
confused and broken Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 You really need to go see a doctor. What you are feeling can be treated don't give up. Many people go through intense lows. With some counseling and a doctor you can use this as a life experience.
onewillburn Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 It's a trying time, man. But you have to use this period to get better, not worse. Use the pain as motivation to get in better shape, mentally and physically. Start playing music and learn all you can from this. Your relationships with people should be different from here on out. Become an independent person who is sure of himself, and then go out and form a relationship. It'll be a different world. But, for now. I know you're in pain, but don't beat yourself up over it. One thing I did when I was feeling excruciatingly bad was get ahold of a show I've never seen on DVD and watch every episode back to back. I would get hooked and time would pass and my mind would be occupied. I know it sounds petty to distract yourself with something empty like television, but you have to realize that you're doing it for your LATER self. You're planting seeds of moving on and bettering yourself by distracting yourself. You'll grow from this, when it's all said and done. The deeper the wounds, the stronger you become.
WantToGetExBack Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Hey I know how you feel, and trust me, after reading so many threads here, I noticed all of us feel the same emotions and the same pain. I felt same way like you and still do at days, but I took other people's advice here that have gone through all this, and now I'm just living on hope that someday I will get over her, I will maybe fall in love again.
MrsPeaSoup Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Hey LISTEN! Just listen!! Do you see, do you really see that you definately are worth it?! Look around you, man! Look at this thread and see how we all are comforting you and giving you advice. And you know what? We do that just for you! Not for your ex or your mom, no; we give that advice for you because we care about you and we want to see you doing better. It's not bs we are talking about. As WantToGetExBack already said: we all feel these horrible pains and we also feel terribly low. We KNOW what you're going through and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! So, do yourself a favour and take our love and advice. Go off your bench, stop drinking that horrible beer and go out into the open world again! You can do this, I know you can.
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