ImaManDammit Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Thanks for all the feedback and comments on this. I managed to bring this up and, yes, it turned out to be true. I am not homophobic, and I have nothing whatsoever against people who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual...but I am not really sure I can continue to see someone who claims to be equally as attracted to men as women. I'm glad you were able to disscuss this with her and I hope you make the decision that's right for you.
eraser Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Tell her that you care for her but you need to know about her past lesbian encounters if you're going to move forward together. Then, ask her to provide photos of past lesbian experience and post them online so we can all judge if they pose a danger to your relationship. LOL. OP, I'm not sure if any one of us can truly help you. We don't know your girlfriend. On top of that, we don't know the specifics of her sexuality. Yeah, she might be bisexual, but there is a whole array of bisexuals out there. There are bisexuals that can have emotional and physical relationships with both sexes, bisexuals who can only have emotional relationships with one sex, bisexuals who have never slept with the same sex (yet), bisexuals that are equally attracted to both sexes, bisexuals who have a "preference", bisexuals who identify as bisexual but who only want to pursue relationships with the same sex, bisexuals who may have slept with or had relationships with the same sex in the past but now consider themselves straight because it was "experimentation"...I mean, the list goes on and on. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what you can and can't accept in a significant other. A lot of guys here keep talking about competition. However, you are not necessarily competing against more people just because you are involved with a bisexual. For example, you could be with a bisexual woman who is very selective and who's only had two relationships: one with a man and the other with a woman. Or, you could be with a straight woman who's had 12 relationships with men. Which woman would you feel more threatened by? Again, this is something you need to decide for yourself.
Engadget Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Joking aside, I think the difficulty with being with a true bi-sexual is the fear that there would be some part of her desires that you could never satisfy. I realize no realtionship's perfect but no amount of counseling is going to help a guy grow a vagina. Yeah you feel like you can't do everything they want. Especially if they're involved with a lesbian that's gone down on women for years and honed their craft as good, if not better than you.
eraser Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Yeah you feel like you can't do everything they want. Especially if they're involved with a lesbian that's gone down on women for years and honed their craft as good, if not better than you. If that is the biggest issue for some guys...the answer to that is to step up your sexual communication. Simply put some effort into finding out what she likes and do it. I doubt that your bisexual girlfriends are expecting you to have the best tornado tongue this side of Nebraska just because she is bisexual. And if she is...dump her.
Engadget Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 (edited) If that is the biggest issue for some guys...the answer to that is to step up your sexual communication. Simply put some effort into finding out what she likes and do it. I doubt that your bisexual girlfriends are expecting you to have the best tornado tongue this side of Nebraska just because she is bisexual. And if she is...dump her. Problem was she wasn't into doing after 4 years, but was with a woman. Hence why I think she's more lesbian than bi. I tried to get her to do anything she wanted, she never would. The ball was in her court. I asked her a million times to bring up anything she wanted to do and told her a ton of mine own wishes, just didn't happen. Edited April 8, 2010 by Engadget
eraser Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Problem was she wasn't into doing after 4 years, but was with a woman. Hence why I think she's more lesbian than bi. I tried to get her to do anything she wanted, she never would. The ball was in her court. I asked her a million times to bring up anything she wanted to do and told her a ton of mine own wishes, just didn't happen. That sounds like there was a problem in the relationship, not in the bedroom. It also sounds like she escaped into another relationship that just so happened to contain another woman. Maybe if she were straight, it would've been a man. Were you having problems in other areas, too?
Engadget Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 That sounds like there was a problem in the relationship, not in the bedroom. It also sounds like she escaped into another relationship that just so happened to contain another woman. Maybe if she were straight, it would've been a man. Were you having problems in other areas, too? Yes we were.
eraser Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Yes we were. Well, there you go. I kind of feel sorry for bisexuals sometimes. Everything they do seems to be reduced to sex. Not saying it went down exactly like this, but when she left you for another woman, the first thing you might've thought was, "OK, she's a lesbian" instead of "We were having too many problems in this relationship."
Engadget Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Well, there you go. I kind of feel sorry for bisexuals sometimes. Everything they do seems to be reduced to sex. Not saying it went down exactly like this, but when she left you for another woman, the first thing you might've thought was, "OK, she's a lesbian" instead of "We were having too many problems in this relationship." No it was both, but I still think she is just a lesbian.
eraser Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 No it was both, but I still think she is just a lesbian. Haha. Well, maybe she is. There are a lot of theories out there that suggest that sexuality is fluid.
Engadget Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Haha. Well, maybe she is. There are a lot of theories out there that suggest that sexuality is fluid. Nowadays it seems like all women have sexual encounters with other women, it's kind of strange how widespread it seems to be.
eraser Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Nowadays it seems like all women have sexual encounters with other women, it's kind of strange how widespread it seems to be. What I find stranger is how most men approve of these encounters...only if they are 1) invited to be part of the activity or 2) if it's for their entertainment. As soon as the encounters take place without them participating or watching, it suddenly becomes an issue or (as it's been stated in this thread), a "deal breaker."
Engadget Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 What I find stranger is how most men approve of these encounters...only if they are 1) invited to be part of the activity or 2) if it's for their entertainment. As soon as the encounters take place without them participating or watching, it suddenly becomes an issue or (as it's been stated in this thread), a "deal breaker." Yeah I don't really like the idea at all. This sounds callous but I don't fully trust bi-sexuals, especially after the ex screwed me over and lied so much about it. I was never comfortable with the idea of a threesome either, I'd have to really know the person or else it would be weird.
ImaManDammit Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Yeah I don't really like the idea at all. This sounds callous but I don't fully trust bi-sexuals, especially after the ex screwed me over and lied so much about it. I was never comfortable with the idea of a threesome either, I'd have to really know the person or else it would be weird. You're not alone. I am the same way. That's what I meant when I said figure out how you feel about it, and then make the right decision for you, even it may be a difficult thing to deal with. In the end its the best thing you can do for both of you.
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