Ladies do we put too much stock into the first time with have sex with a new partner?

[Sweetie1977]

Myself and many friends have had this happen i dont know how many times weve been blown away sexually by a guy the first time we had sex and then somehow thought that meant there was this amazing connection and this was the man of our dreams months later to find out he was a creep

 

Covnersely ive had guys be bad at sex once and nor give him another chance,do u think we put too much stock into that where we make the leap that if its really good sex theyre must be some mind blowing connection with the guy and if its bad sex right away that it must not be a good connection or chemistry

[sally4sara]

I try to not make a judgment of someone's bedroom skills till tango #3. Nervousness can throw them off their game. Learning what the new person likes is a factor too.

[MalachiX]

You dump a guy if he's not good in bed the first time?

 

I don't wanna start a gender war but, if a man had said he dumps woman if they're not good in bed the first time, he would get roasted alive on these boards.

 

Actually, considering some of the posts I've seen from guys on these boards, I'm willing to be there probably is a guy who has said just as much.

 

*sigh*

 

We should all just join a convent.

[atlnay]

do u think we put too much stock into that where we make the leap that if its really good sex theyre must be some mind blowing connection with the guy and if its bad sex right away that it must not be a good connection or chemistry

 

I put NO stock in the 1st or even 2nd act. We are too new, nervous, giddy, etc. By the 3rd time if things are still "off" and no signs of improvement, we just aren't compatible.

[confused and broken]

If it doesn't work in the bedroom it dies completely for me... No I do not want to go and test it out again...

On the other side when it works very well I have trouble letting go... Saying no... staying away...

Almost all girls I know think sex is super important

If it doesn't work... then forget it

Maybe that's harsh but it's life

[MalachiX]

If it doesn't work in the bedroom it dies completely for me... No I do not want to go and test it out again...

On the other side when it works very well I have trouble letting go... Saying no... staying away...

Almost all girls I know think sex is super important

If it doesn't work... then forget it

Maybe that's harsh but it's life

 

I'm really curious women expressing this opinion are allright with men being equally sexually pragmatic. I've heard numerous women express what you just have on these boards yet I only see outrage from women whenever a guy says, "I expect sex if I'm buying a woman dinner," or "I can't go out with this girl because she's too fat" or, "I only wanna date way younger women because only they turn me on."

[confused and broken]

I'm really curious women expressing this opinion are allright with men being equally sexually pragmatic. I've heard numerous women express what you just have on these boards yet I only see outrage from women whenever a guy says, "I expect sex if I'm buying a woman dinner," or "I can't go out with this girl because she's too fat" or, "I only wanna date way younger women because only they turn me on."

 

It's not necessarily a nice happy thing to say... it's just the truth... I am talking about the way it makes you feel... like not wanting to date that person again

I think it is an unreal expectation that you will get laid because you buy a woman dinner-- some women won't go for that

If fat women don't turn you on that's your right as a human being

I know I don't like short men

If younger women turn you on more power to you...

These forums are all about honesty

[cooldudeinberlin]

Everyone puts a lot of stock into the first time you have sex... its an important factor and its as close as you have gotten thus far... what's not to put stock into... even if its a FWB or Fling.

 

some people arent good at identifying good sexual chemistry... and sometimes, its just misleading... all the right elements are there, it should be a good connection, but it just isnt... something is not quite there, solicifying the attraction.

 

Furthermore, no one person can GIVE you good or bad sex... IT TAKES TWO... sorry, to inform, but everytime you have had a super experience or a very bad one, you were just as much responsible for your end of things. when people are mutually attracted, comfortable and on the same wavelength, so to say, there is no reason why the sex shouldnt be mindblowing... even quickies...

[holakitty]

I just can't believe these replies I'm reading. Okay, so what makes sex "bad" then?

 

What if everything's there, and you just need to learn what the other person likes, and how to get in "sync"?

 

Doesn't this take more than 1-2 x to learn about?

 

Do men really judge a woman's performance after the first or second time? Guys, what makes a girl "bad" in bed?

 

What if she wants to please you, is eager, but doesn't know what you want yet?

 

The more you get to know someone, the more intimate your relationship becomes, doesn't the sex improve with time? (i.e. sex is supposed to only get better after you marry)

 

What about those of us who want a real relationship, one that doesn't start with our very first sexual performance being so harshly judged? What about those of us who are open to improving to please our partner?

 

Don't the first couple of times tend to be pretty awkward anyway? I just don't see how you all can so harshly judge so off the bat.

[CarrieT]

I just can't believe these replies I'm reading. Okay, so what makes sex "bad" then?

Selfishness -- someone totally into what they are doing to please themselves and not being considerate of their partner.

 

What if everything's there, and you just need to learn what the other person likes, and how to get in "sync"?

If a person is selfish, than not every IS there and they can't get in sync with another person.

 

Doesn't this take more than 1-2 x to learn about?

Not necessarily. A person who is not considerate and giving right off the bat can rarely be taught such things.

 

Do men really judge a woman's performance after the first or second time? Guys, what makes a girl "bad" in bed?

I can't tell you what guys think, but from a woman's perspective, if a guy is bad the first time, it is unlikely he is going to get better -- at least for ME, that is.

 

What if she wants to please you, is eager, but doesn't know what you want yet?

That is a different story; someone can be eager to try and please and that does make a difference.

 

The more you get to know someone, the more intimate your relationship becomes, doesn't the sex improve with time? (i.e. sex is supposed to only get better after you marry)

I think the opposite; sex is best in the first 12 months or so of a relationship -- during the "lust" and "adrenaline" stage.

 

What about those of us who want a real relationship, one that doesn't start with our very first sexual performance being so harshly judged? What about those of us who are open to improving to please our partner?

There is a plateau with everything we do in life. We can improve as people, as individuals, and as partners, but will the sex actually get better? Varies with each relationship...

 

Don't the first couple of times tend to be pretty awkward anyway? I just don't see how you all can so harshly judge so off the bat.

If there is chemistry -- TRUE chemistry -- than for me, the clumsiness diminishes.

[phineas]

I just can't believe these replies I'm reading. Okay, so what makes sex "bad" then?

 

What if everything's there, and you just need to learn what the other person likes, and how to get in "sync"?

 

Doesn't this take more than 1-2 x to learn about?

 

Do men really judge a woman's performance after the first or second time? Guys, what makes a girl "bad" in bed?

 

What if she wants to please you, is eager, but doesn't know what you want yet?

 

The more you get to know someone, the more intimate your relationship becomes, doesn't the sex improve with time? (i.e. sex is supposed to only get better after you marry)

 

What about those of us who want a real relationship, one that doesn't start with our very first sexual performance being so harshly judged? What about those of us who are open to improving to please our partner?

 

Don't the first couple of times tend to be pretty awkward anyway? I just don't see how you all can so harshly judge so off the bat.

 

Bad sex to me is no oral & just lays there expecting me to do the work. If she isn't willing to get on top & ride me or doggy style or insists on sex in the bedroom only i'll get bored really fast.

 

If she's willing but just needs some practice then that's good enough for me but if she just won't feel comfortable sitting on my lap in a chair i'll loose interest.