9Lives Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 i really been thinking about that. I dont think any of us really want to suffer and hope and wish and pray about someone who left us for what ever reason. It would just be best to say ok and let that be it. I really want to know why is it so hard sometimes to let someone go? I have wasted so much time looking back that it is so disgusting at this point.
ADF Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 It is not disgusting. Actually, it is quite natural. When we bond with people emotionally, physiological and chemical changes take place in our brains. These changes persist long after the relationship has soured or the person is no longer with us. It is not that different from missing someone who has recently died. Logically, yearning for a dead person makes no sense. They aren't coming back. But we do it anyway, because our brains are hard-wired to respond in this way.
carhill Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 IMO and IME, the inability to 'let go' is due to an unhealthy attachment; it has nothing to do with the other person themselves. I've found, by resolving the attachment; IOW, seeing and accepting the person for who they are and what they mean in one's life, one can 'let go' in a healthy way. It's OK to love; value that love, that capacity, and still accept that the person it was directed to was/is incompatible. If they were compatible, the disconnect ('letting go') would be moot.
Author 9Lives Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 I just see alot of people including myself struggling to accept this type of situation at times. If they were 6 feet under, it would be easier but they are right here and not willing to continue with you. Nonetheless, this is my first time really experiencing the difficulty of holding on to the dead and I wish this pain on nobody. I thank God for you, LS, and good friends who didnt give up on me. I have been very low and it has been a dark time in my life. I am certain I will never go thru this anymore.
teanoranges Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 you know, I don't think its an inability to let go... just a slightly prolonged moment of letting go. People are all different. Some people tend to be able to disconnect easily. They're less emotional and that works for them.. some people are emotional, and have a tough time even leaving their family for an extended period of time... I would assume it comes like that. Because its not that you're dying without them, or that your esteem has dropped (at least in my case) but maybe you are just a loving person and the loss of someone shakes you up? I'm sure there's some other psychological thing (fear of abandonment, proof people will abandon you, so you grasp on to the familiar?) but I'd like to believe there is nothing wrong with people who get a little more emotional than others.... ... I mean, if we were all the same we'd be boring (not to mention probably unfaithful considering everyone would be attracted to everyone. haha) just food for thought.
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