ImaManDammit Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 The last couple of weeks, my GF of about 4 months has been acting quite differently. Mind you she has some tough times battling a new situation at work, her weight, her personal life. I think I see myself as a supportive type of person, doing what I can to help her through it. She just doesn't let me in. She's been self sufficient since her divorce 7 years ago and has a very "I can do it all attitude", and at times, "Never think your better than me." This is obviously challenging at times, but I do my best to manage it as she has alot of great qualities. But lately she's making appointments and being ambigous of what they are and how long they are. Using "feminine issues" as the reasoning. Sending me texts that I can come over ONLY after a certain hour with no real reason as to why. Never committing to the next time we should see each other. Skipping work a few days here and there. Then only a few days ago. She had a doctor's appointment in the morning (again elusive about what time of day) Tells me to call her when she got back from her appointment, and that she be on her way to work in an hour or so. Then when I send her a text to see if she is available on Sat night, she sends me a text back that she fell asleep and she's not going into work and that she's not available Sat because she told a friend she was free. I replied back politely but clearly showing my disappointment. Then, I don't hear from her at all, until the following morning. I'm a bit old fashioned, I knew she had a late night game and asked her to give me a call so I know she got home safe. Between her depression, her attitude, this weird behaviour and now this, I was ready to walk away. So she calls me in the morning, with a sweet tone and apologizes. Saying that she went into a depressive funk, and didn't want to talk to anyone. That she should not have let that apply to me and she was sorry. I basically told her that this beviour was unacceptable. I didn't know where she was, what she was doing, or with who. I was pissed. She couldn't promise that this wouldn't happen again and that there will be times in a relationship that we are going to be mad at each other, and not to give up on her. But I needed more. I checked her cell phone, and there are some obvious gaps in conversations and calls that don't correlate to her stories. I have been cheated on before and I know the signs. We have an amazing trip coming up, and I think that she's just holding onto that because of all the other life stuff happening to her, and then when its over, so are we. So is this really depression, or is something going on and I should be concerned. Cause frankly, I'd rather cancel the trip than have someone with me whose going through the motions. Sorry for being so long winded post.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 But I needed more. I checked her cell phone, and there are some obvious gaps in conversations and calls that don't correlate to her stories. I have been cheated on before and I know the signs. We have an amazing trip coming up, and I think that she's just holding onto that because of all the other life stuff happening to her, and then when its over, so are we. So is this really depression, or is something going on and I should be concerned. Cause frankly, I'd rather cancel the trip than have someone with me whose going through the motions. Sorry for being so long winded post. Don't get too insecure about it. Just sit down and have a very frank conversation with her about this. Tell her how you feel and ask her to change this current pattern of behavior. If she doesn't change... leave. It means she either doesn't respect you or is playing you. Either way, you should give her the chance to step up and be better.
Bryanp Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Let me ask you this: if the roles were reversed do you think your girlfriend would accept and tolerate such behavior from you? If you do not respect yourself then who will?
mark982 Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 i think you need to do alot of investagating, don't just take her word for things.
make me believe Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Four months in and you're already having all of these suspicions and checking her phone? I'd end it if I were you. At four months things should be easy & fun! Her behavior is shady and I think she's either got someone on the side or she's just not into you. I mean, she's clearly not making you any kind of a priority in her life, so why bother? Being "depressed" doesn't excuse her avoiding you, not responding to your texts, etc.
Author ImaManDammit Posted March 30, 2010 Author Posted March 30, 2010 Four months in and you're already having all of these suspicions and checking her phone? I'd end it if I were you True. After scanning through some of this topics most people are dealing with this after being together over a year and 4 months in and it already come to this. Guess I just have of to keep looking. Thanks for the advice.
phineas Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 She couldn't promise that this wouldn't happen again and that there will be times in a relationship that we are going to be mad at each other, and not to give up on her. This right there. It takes absolutly no time or thought to send someone a text message to let them know you got home ok.
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