dbhoward20 Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 I really need some advice and im stuck and it feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. But about a month ago me and my X were still together and she told me that she thinks that we should slow things down and I agreed with her on this and we slowed things down. The first week into the whole slowing down thing everything was going fine we would still hold each others hands every once and a while and kiss some but not as often as we used to. After about the first week she started ignoring me and what I mean by this is she totally stopped doing anything holding hands, kissing etc... When she was around her friends she would totally ignore me and talk to them and she would not say anything to me bairly at all and this went on for at least a week and a half. About the only time she would kiss me was when I would she would give me a peck on the lips. This was killing me. Well she started to notice that it was hurting me alot and before I left one night she asked me why I was being so clingy and I replied to her that I have not been clingy at all then she says well it seems like you are and I told her the same thing once again then she gave me a hug and kiss. Well a couple of days later I went over to her house and we went to the store and she brought one of her girlfriends with her and while we were in the store she was totally ignoring me. Well it was killing me so bad at this point and when I took her home and her friend went home I talked to her about the ignoring issue then she started to cry and said that she thinks we should take a break. Well first she wants to slow down then she wants to take a break. Before I had left she gave me a big hug and did not kiss me and she was still crying. She went with her mom after I had left to go to dinner and according to her mom she cried the whole way to dinner and was miserable. I was really crushed when she said she thought we should take a break. She called me the same night and was still crying and said she was sorry and that she knows that we have got some issues to work out. Well a few more days passed and she was calling me and everything but I did not go over and see her because she said she wanted to take a break. Well after about a day or two passed after that I went over to her house and we went to the pet store and she started talking to me and then she tried to say something to me and she started an argument with me and we pulled over and talked. I told her everything that she was doing and how it was affecting me and how she has changed. It eventually led up to her saying that it was completely over and she got out of my car and called one of her friends to come and get her. I was heartbroke so bad and I went home and tears and about 10 minutes after I was home she called me and was apologizing and was crying and she said that she was sorry she just over reacted and that she thinks we should still take the break. I agreed with her on this. So over the next two weeks i took a break from her I went over to her house maybe 2 times within that two weeks and she would still call me and I would not answer it every time. So here recently about 2 days ago I asked her if she wanted to do something and she said that she did not care. Well today I got a call from her and i missed her call and she left a voicemail and said that she dont think that we should go out on a practical date and then she kind of paused for a good 10 seconds and said she dont know if we are going to work out together as boyfriend and girlfriend and that we have issues we need to work out and that we can be friends. What should I DO? and What do you think is wrong with her? Any advice will help because I plan to go over to her house tomorrow and talk to her about everything.
Dodgers27 Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Wow, that seems really weird. You don't deserve to be treated like that, but I completely understand why you would still love her. I was in a similar situation, where she hated all of my friends, but it still didn't change my opinion that I loved her. From what I've read it seems like this may be beyond fixing, and it may be time to go your separate ways :/
Macaw Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 A few more pieces of info, if you please... How long have you been together? How old are you two?
Author dbhoward20 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 A few more pieces of info, if you please... How long have you been together? How old are you two? We have been together for 6 months and I am 20 and so is she.
Macaw Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 We have been together for 6 months and I am 20 and so is she. You both are very young. Get a lot of sleep and eat well before heading over to her house to talk about everything, because if you're feeling tired you'll probably forget to ask some questions that will bug you later. Postpone the visit to another day if you must. Some people at the young age of 17-24 years old crave the cheap thrill of new relationships, and once it starts falling into routine and stops being new and exciting, they break up to look for the next thing. Have you two ever made long-term plans? After hearing your story it seems like your ex was easing her out into breaking up with you. While it may hurt a lot, it'll be easier for you if you could just get your closure, ask all the questions you need, then cut contact with her completely. If you really want to be with her and believe she's worth fighting for you have to give her the idea (without being rude or arrogant) that you won't be there waiting for her to make up her mind forever, and that if she takes too long she'll miss her chance. Personally, I think that calling you to tag along then outright ignoring you in front of her friends is a dick move that no human being deserves to go through. Ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who'll treat you like that when the relationship isn't going exactly the way she wanted.
Author dbhoward20 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 Thanks for the response mac but yes we had made long term plans and she was even talking about marriage and she wanted to move in with me this summer. But I forgot to add something the other day when I was over there before I left she kinda of looked at me with an almost regret look and the look to give me a kiss and then she leaned in and hugged me and told me bye. I feel like she is hiding something from me but I do not want to jump to conclusions.
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