Jlovestruckx0 Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Okay so everyone's advice about letting my boyfriend breath and that the space he wanted is okay , was wonderful , i felt great this weekend. I went out on my own with friends and family and had fun , it felt so good not to worry about him all the time. It felt good to know that my world doesn't revolve around him for once. I thought he'd be happy that hes getting what he wanted? When i spoke to him yesterday its almost as if he wants me to feel guilty for having fun and doing my own thing. He's acting all miserable and making it seem like i have no time for him by saying stupid things like " well i don't wanna ruin your fun so i`lle talk to you later , or things like well i'le let you go do you and have fun". He says its hard to believe that i miss him and that im happier without him. I GAVE HIM WHAT HE WANTED AND NOW HES MAKING ME FEEL LIKE DIRT ABOUT IT!? its not my fault that he decided to spend his weekend stuck in the house instead of having fun. I asked him who he's talked to and all the names he mentions were girls & one in particular that we both have clear i dont want him talking to for clear reasons. I dont control who he talks to but i dont feel comfortable him talking and hanging out with this girl. So he's going to spend our space calling girls to see what there doing? Im having fun with girlfriends and family , not throwing myself at any guy i see like i have no respect for his feelings. He just doesnt care, and then he makes me feel guilty for something he brought onto himself? I didnt want or need the space , he did so what he expects me to sit in the house and cry and be miserable without him , is that what he wants? I thought i would be miserable , but im not , i feel great, i like the space , sure i miss him but im not dying , i dont need him to have a good time and im glad i realized that in this short time. What i do admit i liked though the other day was that we didnt speak to eachother the whole day and he calls me to come over , so i did , and when i got there he was so cuddly and he just kept hugging me and saying that he wanted to hug me so muchh and it was cute , but now hes just being a prick lol. Help guys? Why is acting like this when im giving him what he asked for, did he expect me to miss him way more that i do? How can i tell him that i dont want his world to revolve around these random girls without making him feel like im controlling him? & how can i make him miss me soo much that he regrets asking for space !? Im not giving him the satisfation he wants and begging for him to hang out with me, its time to be independent ! ADVICE PLEASEEEE
monkeymaid Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 1st of all, the actions from him are his emotions reaching for the thing he is addicted to ...you so him trying to get you to feel bad is really his immature way of telling you he misses you and NEEDS you to be happy. ...essentialy his happpiness at this point is based on you, and since you are not there, he is not happy. he turns into an a-hole becasue you are supposed to miss him, and run into his arms. ...your not, hes outcome dependant therefore a-hole time your last quesiton about getting him to miss you is rather manipulative. its dramatic, and essentially playing games. that being said, he is missing you. by enjoying yourself without him, and doing all the things you want to, you are making his heart beg on agony. its the reason for him talking to girls. hes trying to make you jealous. its really becasue he wants you. he wants you to come to him, he misses you, he needs you. ask yourself seriously though this : if you want someone that is going to run and find a false sense of self esteem from some hood rats that somehow is filling the void casued by your departure. this break should open your eyes to a few things. 1. man asks for break for whatever reason 2. he uses break to bitch, then talk to girls 3. he tried to make you feel bad and wants you to make him feel better 4. he gets mad that you are using your time in a healthy way 5. he doestn want you to be happy without him and actually gets mad that you arent sad. 6. he cant handle a few days without talking to you ^^^^^^im not saying beakup at all!!!! please dont read that. ...im saying that you guys have some work to do, and he has some maturing to do... do not let this get pushed aside. address these things. they will grow as the relationship does
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