aussieguy Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 My (ex)GF and i broke up on Saturday after 2 years 7 months, she broke it up with me although i knew it was coming. 6 weeks ago we broke up i did it that time because i was feeling like i was getting pushed away, she had started hanging out with one of he friends more and more and we were spending less and less time together. Before this she had been pretty dependent on me, she would see what i was doing before anyone else. message me all the time. At this time i wasn't so dependent i would go out id spend time with my mates even went overseas for 3 weeks with a friend as she couldn't afford it. So when she started becoming more independent i got hurt and annoyed because "things where changing" so i broke it off with her stupidly. She was hurt, and a week later i knew i had done the wrong thing after talking to lots of people i realised that i needed to let her do her own thing and be less dependent on me as we need our own space. She decided she needed some time to think about things, this went on for 3 weeks we spoke daily for the first 2 weeks and i started to get the idea she didn't want to be with me so the third week i replied less and less then stopped until she hassled me for 2-3 days asking why i wasn't talking and how she wants us to work etc. We met for lunch and it felt like it did when we were both happy. Later that night she rang and said she wanted to be with me but we had to work and changing things for the better, i agreed. The first week was great we spoke everyday no arguments and it seemed we both genuinely wanted to make things work, then the second week things went downhill she started replying with short answers and it just didnt seem right. I knew something was wrong so id ask her but she would always say there was nothing and get grumpy, this went on for 2 weeks and got worse and worse. I went around to her place and made her talk to me properlly face to face and she said things didnt feel the same, but that she loves me more than anything then got grumpy again. I left then that night she kept messaging me saying i love you etc which i didnt respond to. The next day she again messaged me 2-3 times asking for me to reply and if she could stay that night. I said no because i knew a break-up was immanent and wasnt sure why she would want to stay. The next day she messaged me and we saw each other for a bit everything seemed okay, she got annoyed at a few girls who were trying to hit on me. I went out with a mate that night and so did she, we didnt really talk when we saw each other i told her we needed to sort everything out. She said she'd come stay the following night and we'd discuss it all. She finished work and messaged me saying she was coming over but wont be staying cause she was tired and felt sick from the night before. When she arrived she pretty much broke up with me but tried to make it mutual saying if it was meant to be we wouldnt need to work so hard on our relationship, although i still wanted to be together, we hugged kissed cried etc then she left. I asked her not to message me etc so i had time to get over her so that we could hopefully be friends in the future she said okay. That night i changed my facebook relationship to blank it use to say: in a relationship with ... I didnt make it single cause i didnt want to annoy her or anything but it was hard having it say that i was still with her when i logged on even though we werent so i thought that was fair. That night she sent me a message abusing me for changing my status so quickly, i didnt reply as i thought i shouldnt need to defend myself i hadnt done anything wrong imo Didnt hear from her til last night when again she sent me a message having another go at me, saying i was doing it to try and invite girls to contact me etc. Again i didnt reply. Im sticking to NC although im confused to why she would break up with me then have a go at me for removing our relationship status. Would be great to get a few views of others on here as to whats happening, as its kinda hard to talk to mates about this kind of stuff.
deux ex machina Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 (edited) She lost the privilege to voice her opinions about you, what you are doing, and who you are doing it with. Edited March 29, 2010 by deux ex machina
Author aussieguy Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 Yep, if she doesn't want to be with me she cant dictate what i do. Still a bit confused why she would be having a go at me. Its not as if i started flirting with girls etc.
Author aussieguy Posted March 30, 2010 Author Posted March 30, 2010 Now at day 4. No messages from her during day 3 and today, seems like she is happy atm going by her FB page. Still have not made contact with her
Rearden Metal Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Keep it up. She's just trying to retain control of you until she moves on. The old keeping you on a string thing. Same thing my ex did. As soon as she had a new boyfriend, I didn't hear much at all.
skydiveaddict Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Now at day 4. No messages from her during day 3 and today, seems like she is happy atm going by her FB page. Still have not made contact with her why are you still looking at her fb page?
Author aussieguy Posted March 30, 2010 Author Posted March 30, 2010 Yep definitely seems like she was, looking back on it. Just don't understand why she would chase me when i started to distance myself from her in week three of our break. --- Then the first week back together she said so many nice things, eg wanting to go overseas together mid year, move out together etc etc Then second and third week she pretty much stopped talking to me and distanced herself and broke it off at the end of week three. Then had the nerve to have a go at me twice for changing my facebook status from being in a relationship to not.
Author aussieguy Posted March 30, 2010 Author Posted March 30, 2010 why are you still looking at her fb page? Hard not to when you work on a computer for 10 hours a day.
Author aussieguy Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 Day 5. Received a txt message saying: For your information im really not finding it easy to move on and forget. Im still doing NC
Author aussieguy Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 Now the start of day 6 of NC. Received another text message yesterday afternoon asking why i never reply and if i have found another girlfriend already.
Author aussieguy Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 Can anyone help me with why she would be having a go at me so much? She broke it off with me and ive simply tried to go under the radar, and most days i get a message accusing me of having someone else or moving on quickly.
Author aussieguy Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 It is now day 8 of NC, been away for the past 2-3 days. Recieved a message on day 6 that said: i miss you... Didnt reply, havent heard from her again.
Austen Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 What kinds of things had you guys been fighting about? From a woman's perspective, I don't think she's trying to hold onto you until she moves on. She's texting you because she still loves you and isn't ready to let go. Of course she's pissed you changed your FB relationship status--in her mind it means you don't give a sh** about her. But it's obvious that you still love her. Her moody texting is her way of trying to get a reaction from you because she wants to know if you still care. When men pull away, women panic and become neurotic...it's just the way our minds work. So why don't you guys try to work it out? You've got almost three years of history. There must be a lot of things you like and appreciate about each other, or you wouldn't have stayed together this long. Or maybe the relationship has run it's course, but I wouldn't be so quick to give up on it... If you're really done with her then continue the NC. If not, then throw her a bone. I know she's messed with your emotions, but believe me, she's going through hell right now too Good luck!
Author aussieguy Posted April 5, 2010 Author Posted April 5, 2010 What kinds of things had you guys been fighting about? From a woman's perspective, I don't think she's trying to hold onto you until she moves on. She's texting you because she still loves you and isn't ready to let go. Of course she's pissed you changed your FB relationship status--in her mind it means you don't give a sh** about her. But it's obvious that you still love her. Her moody texting is her way of trying to get a reaction from you because she wants to know if you still care. When men pull away, women panic and become neurotic...it's just the way our minds work. So why don't you guys try to work it out? You've got almost three years of history. There must be a lot of things you like and appreciate about each other, or you wouldn't have stayed together this long. Or maybe the relationship has run it's course, but I wouldn't be so quick to give up on it... If you're really done with her then continue the NC. If not, then throw her a bone. I know she's messed with your emotions, but believe me, she's going through hell right now too Good luck! Thanks for your reply. Quick update first, currently day 9 of NC. Received another message this morning saying: Why arent you talking to me? i miss you. In reply to your post Austen: We never really had any BIG fights they would only be small once which we would get over within a few hours most of the time. As she use to work nights and i would work days plus play sport and run my online business there would be some weeks in which we didnt see each other much fights would usually occur when one of us didnt give the time to see the other person enough, this happened both ways but usually it was one of us getting grumpy for a few hours then be fine and move on. Also another thing that would cause fights would be that most of my mates from here have moved to the city, so i dont have that many friends here and i dont really get a long with her friends so this would cause a few issues when we were all together. Again nothing major but a few small arguments (in private).
Author aussieguy Posted April 5, 2010 Author Posted April 5, 2010 Quick update. Tried throwing a bone like you said Austen although im pretty sure, when she says i miss you its from a friend point of view. After i received the message this morning asking why i hadnt been replying and that she misses me, i wrote back simply saying "miss you too". Then received a reply asking what course im looking at applying for which would mean me moving away, i replied. Then received a message "oh okay. that sounds fun" i wrote back saying "yep" Havent heard back, from what i can tell she was only trying to get a response from me as i had been NC for 9 days. Guess its back to NC
Author aussieguy Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 Well its been 1 day since i made contact, so i guess its NC day 1 again. Received another message today saying: i miss you Didnt respond
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