gtrplayer Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 (2yr relationship prev. Posts give story if needed) Ok...so we finally "cut" it... we went through a few days of very distant contact. Her ignoring my texts at night... limited to no communication. What happened was I learned that this IS what needs to be done, but lacked the strength to do it. We talked today over the phone and I was just straight with her. It was VERY hard and very sad for me but I told her that we both know we need to end this and I know that I need to end this and we are now at the point to where one of us just need to deliver the final cut of everything and be done with it, but I just can't do it because I'm weak and I don't want to hurt anyone or make her mad etc.... She said that I was right and that yes, she understand that it IS time to end this and that she knows that I'm weak and can't do it, so SHE will do it and she did it! Or so she says... I haven't heard from her and I plan to not txt her etc... I feel EXTREMELY relieved, EXCITED, happy... and VERY Excited about my new life and doing the things that "I" want to do for ME! Taking care of ME and enjoying my friends and family that I have shoved off into a dark corner for two full years!!! I'm actually going to GO see my brother... AND I'm going to INVITE my parents to come STAY WITH MEEEE!! yay!!! I just want to smile every day now and just have FUN and enjoy life!!! Take a friend out to dinner!!! Meet a friend for lunch... HIRE MY HOUSEKEEPER BACK!!!!!! ha! Yayyyy!!!! Re-connect with my buddy I use to work with.... Wow... I just don't know where to start!!!! BUT!!! BUT BUT BUT... it's also saddening at times when I stop to think about how sad she will be, how down she will be, how disapointed she will but and/or is... I HATE that feeling and it makes me very sad at the same time.... I just want to make sure she's ok... So what is the best way to deal with such emotions????
Author gtrplayer Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 Ok.... we have had long time plans to attend a three day event out of town. We do this every year. Now she calls crying BEGGING me to at least do this gig with her for one last time and then call it over. Just go to the event and then that's it... I made it CLEAR to her that IF we do that... THAT must be it... no more, nothing... we get back and go our separate ways. Also NO communication prior to the event. She comes to my place next week to get ALL of her things of which I packed up already. She agreed. Bad Idea? or stand firm on NOT going to the event together and just simply calling ALL now. Done!
LovelyDaze Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 So what is the best way to deal with such emotions???? Just what you are about to do, go live your life to the fullest! You can't continue to put her first before yourself. People think it is a selfish thing to be concerned about themselves over anyone else...not true! In order to care for others, you have to care of your needs and wants also. You will live in your body, mind ,and soul forever. Be good to yourself at all times. You are definitely on the right road!
Rearden Metal Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Only go to the gig if you have a financial obligation to it. Otherwise, I'd decline.
Author gtrplayer Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 Thank you thank you Lovely Dayz!! But what about the event??? No financial obligation as asked...
skydiveaddict Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Thank you thank you Lovely Dayz!! But what about the event??? No financial obligation as asked... No No event cut her loose
Author gtrplayer Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 Wow!!! So, NO event eh?? Wow! YOu all seem very certain. Why so certain with the "no" on the event...?
ComeUndone Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 I wouldn't go.. you're only going to make this harder on yourself. You really have nothing to gain by going, you're merely accommodating her. Kep it a clean break and decline.
ComeUndone Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Wow!!! So, NO event eh?? Wow! YOu all seem very certain. Why so certain with the "no" on the event...? Why are you considering going? You're sorta defending the idea to go... how come?
LovelyDaze Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Wow!!! So, NO event eh?? Wow! YOu all seem very certain. Why so certain with the "no" on the event...? Everyone's correct. Don't go. Even it cost a zillion bucks..Let it go. The cost of hanging out with her again will set you back a lot more emotionally.
Tonkiki Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 I would say to check in with how you feel about it and her- do you miss her, want to see her again, or are there no more feelings? I have found that applying shoulds to feelings is futile, that ultimately people will follow their feelings. So check in and see what is truly motivating you to go to the event.
OndaChin Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 "Here's your EPIC CHANCE to wear the 'Golden Nutz' and show her you are too aloof for her -now". Please don't go with her. Tell her you have other plans (don't explain why) and leave things alone. You said earlier you don't have the sack to move on. Now it's time to prove YOU REALLY DO!! You'll be glad you did....
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