Songzbabygirl Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I don't really know where to start, so I guess I'll start with the fact that I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 23. Our relationship of almost two years, has had it's ups and downs like any other relationship, but certain things that my boyfriend does drives me insane, and I hate it. I have a 6 year old son, who I had when I was 19, (I grew up pretty quick). My boyfriend likes to go out to the bar a few times a week and drink, well he's gotten violent while drinking so I told him that either he stopped drinking and getting out of control or we couldn't be together, and finally after a lot of Resistance that stopped. However, somethings that I still don't understand are really bothering me and I'm looking for advice. 1. My boyfriend will take off to go see multiple concerts (same band), for multiple days in a row, take time off of work even though we really can't afford it, and will stay gone with his dad at the concerts for sometimes up to a couple of weeks. I understand concerts are fun but when you take time off of work, when you are supporting a family and you can't afford it, I think it's a little childish and irresponsible. Concerts really haven't ever been my thing, so I don't know if it's just me feeling this way or if it is irresponsible. 2. My boyfriend has a very high sex drive (wants it all the time and tells me so). My sex drive compared to his is minimal. It wasn't always this way, but I'm stressed about not being able to find a job and I'm trying to get back into school to finish my degree, I'm a caretaker for my elderly mother (who lives with me) as well as trying to be a good mom and taking care of the house. I don't get in the mood as much as I used to but I get in the mood a few times a week but that isn't enough for my boyfriend. My boyfriend is always touching me, even when I don't feel like being touched always trying to get me to the bedroom, but it just annoys me and turns me off more. I try really hard to please him, and even though I give it to him at least once a day (even if I'm not in the mood) he complains that he wants more and actually gets upset or angry with me if I won't give it to him. 3. No mater what I'm trying to say, he's always got a point to prove and will argue over the stupidest things. He actually argued with me that he had sent me a certain text message and when I told him that I didn't receive it, he told me that I had probably deleted it, when I know that I never received that text message. And he's always misquoting what I say. Example: I said, "I'm going to pick up the kid, then go to the mall, then go to Wal-mart, and if the kid wants to come with me I'll take him if not is it ok if he stays here?" After I picked my son up from school he said that he wanted to stay home instead of going with me and when I dropped him off at the house with my boyfriend my boyfriend says, "You said you were taking him with you, I already made plans to go and do something." When I tried to explain to him what I had really said, he replies with "Well that's not what you said, but I guess maybe I misheard you." And this happens on a constant basis. He's always miss hearing me or telling me I didn't say something when I know I did. I love him very much and honestly he's a great father to my son, even though it's not his kid. It's just I feel like certain things that he does are immature and I'm not sure if it's just me feeling weird or if these are legitimate concerns. I could really use some advice. What do you think about the situations and what do you think would be a way to resolve these issues.
JohnnyBlaze Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 In order... 1. Guys will always have their thing that, no matter what, they'll splurge on that one habit. For him, it's concerts. At least, right now it is. But with a family to support, you do need to have a sit down with him. Make a deal where he can go see X number of concerts a year. If he wants to see the same band five times, or five different bands once, that's his call. He gets his indulgence and you get to curb his spending. 2. He's getting it once a day and he's complaining? Okay, he's old enough to know when he's got a good thing going. In no uncertain terms, you can tell him to quit his whining. 3. He's at that age. Unfortunately, only time is going to cure this one.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 I say let this one go. He is not the type you would want to settle for in regards to a stable relationship. First of all, he does not respect you as evident by the way he " pressures" you into having sex. Then you notice at the age of 23, he's not at that mature where he's willing to be a stay at home father to help you baby sit your child. I understand the both of you have history together but since you're willing to take the necessary steps to provide for your family and your future, your bf is being a hindrance in your progress. Needless to say that you have a child to raise, but now your bf behaves as a second child for you to mother.
boogieboy Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 He's 23, he doesnt want this life. He wants to party and have a regular girlfriend who has a free life, not your life. You need to let him go, you two arent on the same page.
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