Can I get her back? (Part II)

January 14, 2004

Seems like my last thread got locked.....so thought I'd continue from here....

Kit,

You were in a ten day no contact blackout at that time based on your previous posts, so she probably wasn't wrapped up in thoughts of you anyway.

Sounds like she has alot of time on her hands, so she's probably not dating.
She's going on her trip. It's very important to her.

She broke up with you because she wants to do this whirlwind trip that she has all these images of. But the reality of it will be different and when she returns she will most likely have it out of her system and have that amazing story to tell for life, which is probably what she is looking for. And she will be looking for a little peace when she comes back.

Odds are that she is going to come home. And she knows that you will still be here.

So maybe the pen pal thing can work. Or maybe you will just receive post cards from her. But you will see her again. Live your life and try to enjoy it while she is gone. Down the road maybe things will be better. In one way or another

Very true LOST....i plan to just do that, live my life and see where that road takes me. I've spoken to a few people who seem to think she will be back as travelling overseas isnt what its all cut out to be. Who knows?

I still have my stuff which I need to collect, considering that she's going and i've done the no contact rule since Xmas day.....should I still hold off on ringing to ask for my stuff back? Or should i continue to wait...and if so, when should I be asking for my stuff back?

January 14, 2004

Guess what i'm scared of if i do the 'no contact' rule is that she may think that I've gone off her and so thinks that I have closed the door on her and if there was a chance of reconciliation that its now been swept away. far from the truth, i DO really do want to get back with her!

Kit she has had plenty of time to reconsider things, if she wanted you back she would have done so by now already. Just let things be already and please do move on before this consumes not only your time but aggravates her as well.

should I still hold off on ringing to ask for my stuff back? Or should i continue to wait...and if so, when should I be asking for my stuff back?

Id say get a hold of someone who is in contact with her to get your stuff and come to a mutual agreement of this person picking up yoru belongings. Just so you dont misread her intentions again, perhaps with ANYTHING she may say to you. It appears it is over. Move on to bigger and better things..... start making YOURSELF happy and dont worry about whether she will come back to you or not.... go out and meet new people or hang with the old ones you may have neglected because of this.... but by all means it is time to move on. Good luck to you.

January 14, 2004

Kit, it's not as far gone as that. She did make an effort to see you. You could be completely set aside like me. I don't think it would hurt to get your stuff and see her again before she leaves. But you aren't going to convince her to stay. As long as you know that going in.

Try the penpal thing, but be willing to accept the post card thing instead. And if you can do without your stuff until she gets back, leave it with her. It will give her an excuse in case she doesn't feel comfortable calling after so long away.

By then you'll probably be married and expecting twins.

January 14, 2004

guys, i dont expect her to stay here or not go on her trip. I've accepted that fact!! Thats not my problem, what I have an issue with, is the fact she's going and "possibly" not coming back ever!!!! Thats what hurts me the most, because to me it makes me feel small, insiginificant and she doesnt even consider me worthy of coming back to? So she's going away and she'll be travelling, hopefully getting it out of her system, but i do hope that she'll return and maybe, just maybe, she'll have thought about us some more????

Like to try the penpal thing, at the same time, if she invites me to her going away party, is that something I should go to? Also leaving at the airport, should i be going to that to wave goodbye???

In regards to picking up my stuff, i'll do that just after beginning of Feb. I cant leave the stuff there as she is selling the house and thats the only thing holding her back from leaving right now....

January 16, 2004

Found out through the 'grapevine" that the ex was seeing someone recently but also broke up with them after a few weeks. It made me kinda angry....upset enough to ring her up after I found out to organise to collect my stuff. She sounded happy on the phone and normal...i was acting straight and cool....without sounding overexcited nor angry. I read out the list of stuff I had to pick up...and then asked if I could ask her a question.

Asked if anything had been going on with the guy? She went quiet and then said for a little while but then stopped after a few weeks. I asked why it started, she told me that he made a move and she went with the flow looking for some 'fun' but then he started to come forward in wanting a relationship and that was not what she was looking for and so ended it. Apparently, through the grapevine, the guy is in 'love' with her and is upset about it all.....he is 3yrs her junior, one of her brother's mates to be exact!

I was upset and we had a long talk with her getting defensive and raising her voice. I poured out stuff about her trip and how I was disappointed about her getting together with this guy when she wouldnt give us another chance. She told me that i had no right to be on the other end of the phone telling her how I felt and making her feel guilty.

She told me that after our b/fast before Xmas she was wondering if she had made the wrong decision about the two of us and if she should consider giving us both another go! But after this phone call, it seemed to her that maybe she made the right decision as I had made much of a change in the way I analysed stuff and came to all these assumptions.

I told her in the end that i apologised for acting this way and it is emotion talking and that all i wanted was for us to have another go. And that my biggest scare/disappointment was that she would go away and move on with her life and we wouldnt get the chance to prove that we were still right for each other?

I asked if she still loved me, she told me through sniffles "You know that I love you".....She said that the way to prove to her that I've changed is to be her friend so that she can see that for herself! I said that she would have to understand that its very very hard for me to just be a friend to her and hear about her moving on or if she found someone else? That she would have to understand that I can't just be a 'friend' like that an it would take time for me to do that. She did mention about the penpal thing whilst she's away etc....but I brought up the time at the b/fast where she told me that she wouldnt have any committal/ties before or WHILST she's away. Reason I brought it up was cos I asked what would keep her away from coming back to Oz, she told me that she doesnt know, a good job or getting married? I said "but you said there would be no committal whilst you are away? For you to get married, wouldnt you need to have a committal". She got upset at this point as she said how was she to know what would happen???? my point was that she was dead set "against" us getting together here before she went away cos she didnt want a committal, yet whilst she's away she wasnt as "dead set" and thats what I wanted clarification on!

IN the end she said I had undid a lot of the stuff I had built up....I guess i was angry and upset that this b*stard had made a move on her and she had given in to 'have some fun'. I suppose I should be happy that they broke up, but I KNEW that it was happening as he was trying on all the slick moves and could be read like a book!

I dont know what to do from here? I told her that i'll wait for a phone call from her to let me know when I can pick all my stuff up? She said yeah, she'll give me a call.....I told her to smile when I hung up and she said she was, i did a small laugh and she giggled.....

What now? Have I basically screwed everything up??? I guess I found out some stuff that I always wondered? Feels like a big weight is off my shoulders!!! I dont feel all choked up nor very angry right now???

January 16, 2004

i was given the advice of "be patient and no pressure" despite me knowing that 99.9% even that i do that she is gone, i have been doing that and despite all that i am not hoping anymore and haven't been in contact

Kitwalker you probably haven't done this, you should have never asked her about that bloke so hard as it is and never asked to get her back, this seems the best way to have any chance at all it seems if you read and ingest this forum enough

although you have found out some stuff which should help you move on...

it takes 2 to tango and if she was seeing someone else it might mean she doesn't really love you as if she was in love she wouldn't be interested so don't necessarily blame the guy, it is her fault

as hard as it is you will be better accepting that this relationship is over and try and start to forget about it because in 5 years time you'll be married with children laughing at this situation wondering what a waste of time that all was!!!

good luck

January 16, 2004

Reason I brought it up was cos I asked what would keep her away from coming back to Oz, she told me that she doesnt know, a good job or getting married? I said "but you said there would be no committal whilst you are away? For you to get married, wouldnt you need to have a committal". She got upset at this point as she said how was she to know what would happen???? my point was that she was dead set "against" us getting together here before she went away cos she didnt want a committal, yet whilst she's away she wasnt as "dead set" and thats what I wanted clarification on!

OK. Slow down here. You are reading into this too much. If I were her, and you had asked me such a question, I would be caught off guard and wouldn't have the slightest clue how to answer it. I would probably say the same thing, and by "getting married" it means that she would need something THAT big in her life in order to keep her here. She didn't mean she was refering to you directly. She was saying in general, she'd have to have something big in her life keeping her here. You mentioned before the only thing keeping her here was her house, and that is all. No mention of anybody else or anything else. Also, you confused her when you asked her if the getting married idea would mean she would have to be committed. She said she didn't want committment BEFORE she goes away and that if she had a committment, she wouldn't be going away. Hence, the house.

To be honest, I would be fed up too if my ex asked me the questions you asked your ex. You didn't have to go into so much detail about the committment deal. It's true that she doesn't know what is going to happen and your questions only pressure her into forcing some answers out, when she really doesn't have to answer them in the first place. She is going on a trip to find out what she wants and to get away from exactly what you are giving her - a hard time. She doesn't need that right now. She's excited about her trip and you shouldn't make her feel bad for going. I know it isn't your intention, but you are trying desperately to hold this girl back and she can sense that. Girls can smell these things miles away.

I guess i was angry and upset that this b*stard had made a move on her and she had given in to 'have some fun'.

Obviously, it was a rebound, nothing to worry about. And she IS free to date. She's single.

What now? Have I basically screwed everything up??? I guess I found out some stuff that I always wondered? Feels like a big weight is off my shoulders!!! I dont feel all choked up nor very angry right now???

What now? Now you get your things when she calls and say your goodbyes, and that is all you can do. You move on. It's good that you don't feel choked up or angry - I think that's a sign that you are going to be okay because you are getting over her.

Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted to hear. I guess I am defending her end and telling the truth, but I think you should know that at this point, it doesn't seem like she is looking to stay back, and that it is best for the both of you to move on. Hope this helps a bit?

January 16, 2004

KitWalker you didn't screw anything up, no matter what you did your ex wants to go on a world trip regardless

there is nothing you can do about this but to wish her all the best and wish her a good time and a good life

this is the most dignified and self respecting thing you can ever possibly do at this time

as hard as it is but be a man!!!!

January 16, 2004

I've had time to simmer down and go for a walk before coming back on here. I know that i should accept and let her move on , but im still angry and wondering why would she still tell me that she loved me yet she could sleep with this twirp???? And to rub it in, to say that they broke up cos he wanted a relationship...so what, if he didnt say anything, they'd still be bonking away????

I know that I should say goodbye and good luck in whatever you want to do for the future when I pick up my stuff, but I feel so angry and betrayed that she could do something like this considering i've had ample opportunity to sleep around but chose not too cos i still love her, yet she can go and do it??? VENGENCE is what is on my mind rather than good wishes at the moment........

January 16, 2004

VENGENCE is what is on my mind

forget about that KitWalker, that kind of stuff is for idiots, have more class and deal with this developed situation in a mature classier way

the fact that she kept telling you she loved you meant she wasn't the girl WHATSOEVER you thought she was and she was really something rather different, so address this and you now realise that who you thought was the perfect girl isn't that at all... this is a good thing as it gives you the reality of this person!!!!

considering i've had ample opportunity to sleep around but chose not too cos i still love her

would this have changed anything? why lower yourself to meaninglessly sleeping around just to do as she has done? you should only sleep around if you are that kind of promiscuous by nature and not for to get someone back

KitWalker you should still wish her all the best in whatever she does and be proud of yourself for doing so, if you do anything less what will you be? show her you have class!!!

January 16, 2004

I don't think you've really accepted that your relationship is over. I understand, I think it was moimeme that posted several stages of a break-up and 'denial' was up there at the top.

I don't want to wrangle over words but sure you can 'love' someone but not be 'in love' with them. You can see a relationship is over but still have affection for (and be deeply attached to) a person; they have a place in your heart and that's probably what your ex meant. We ALL have second thoughts after a breakup, it's perfectly normal (unless you've dumped some kind of psycho...) but unless those second thoughts inspire the dumper to contact dumpee and ask to get back together they don't count for squat.

I'm sorry I haven't read back over all your previous threads but it sounds from this one that you feel your ex still owes you and should be celibate in respect for what you both once had. It doesn't work that way -- your more likely to jump into bed with someone (rebound) just to see how it feels or to try and break the connection I mentioned, so that you can feel free to move on (or away as the case may be)...

In any case you are just prolonging your suffering by denying that your relationship is over. You ex seems to have made it quite clear with both words and actions that she considers herself free and single and from what I gather is preparing to go out and travel the world. Let it go. I know it's hard but it's futile torture trying to hold on to someone that doesn't want holdin'...

January 16, 2004

Ok so if i've accepted that she's gone and out of my life and prolly never to see her again. Should it be ok for me to write a long emai/letter to tell her what she's done to me, to get all my grief and anger written out so that she knows what she has done and what she's made me feel like?

I find it very hard to see her for the last time when i pick up my stuff, smile, shake her hand and say " hey good luck!!! hope you find what ur looking for" and drive off......she'd think "Whew! that was easy!"

After all the pain and suffering and this ****......I dont think she knows how cut I am? She's never had someone break up with her, so she will not know, she might never know if she meets her husband as the next guy??? I feel that its not fair at all whats unfolded in the last few hours......

Vengence may sound stupid and for idiots....but what was I when i was sitting here waiting for her to come back to me? Aren't i an idiot already????

January 16, 2004

spend as long as you want writing her that letter but don't send it!

especially don't send it if it will make her feel guilty!

what is that going to achieve? do you want to make her feel guilty?

in the end she did not mean to hurt you!

off course it will be very hard to see her for the last time but unfortunately very diffificult situations in life spring up and we just have to try and deal with them, life is damn hard at times! you are not the only one going through this!

i think she does know how hurt you are but there is nothing she can do about it, she wants to go on a trip and move on etc. etc.

she has made her mind up it seems and shes on a path, there is nothing you can do except as i said be respectful and dignified ( for yourself! )

you are not responsible for her or future partners feelings in future relationships

no you aren't an idiot, you loved this girl and were full of hope so don't become an idiot!

January 16, 2004

The reason why i want to write that letter is so I CAN give it to her and let her read everything she has done. If she feels guilty after reading it, thats a small price to pay for what she's done don't you think???

There's 99% chance that I wont see her again and so she may never nkow what she's done, what she's lost or how she could've had something she's been looking for that was sitting right under her nose.

The fact she slept with this guy has made me physically sick and very disappointed.....what i thought was special (making love) has become something dirty as she was able to give herself up to this skinny idiot just like that! What a crock of ****

January 16, 2004

Listen Kit, believe me I know of what I speak, I have sooo been there and I can tell you the only thing you have when you're dumped is the memory of how you behaved. An out pouring of angst won't make you feel better, all it will do is come back to haunt you later on; you will feel humiliated that you couldn't act with more dignity and feel stupid that you kept beating the horse long after it had died. (This coming from the girl who once stood in an International Airport and wailed 'who's going to love me NOW??!!' as her ex frog marched her to the terminal).

If she doesn't know how 'cut up' you are, she's stupid, so you'd be writing to a stupid woman. And if she does it won't change a thing - not now and not later ( you don't really care about her future spouse and besides noone can really understand the pain of being dumped until it happens to them personally).

Revenge can be 'sweet' but only when you don't give a damn and you clearly do, so leave it - you clearly (underneath the present anger) want her to reconsider and she definitely won't if you cut up her designer tops and pour spaghetti sauce in her Gucci handbag.

Sorry,

R.

ps. You can write your letter if it'll help YOU just DON'T SEND IT.

January 16, 2004

Kit - be calm.

First off, she is not going on a trip to get away from you. (shame on you sarah)

She is breaking up with you so she can go on her trip.

And the other guy was probably just her way of trying to see if she really loved you or to put some distance between her feelings for you by trying someone else. It's an extremely nasty thing to do, but it is normal.

But she didn't throw it in your face. She just did it and while she does have the right to do so, it isn't consistent with the things she has told you so don't look at it as an attack.

She is either doing it to get over you or doing it because she never cared at all. I think it is the former. And did you think she was going to be celibate until she got back from her trip?

Leave it alone for now. Look at what has happened. You made contact and pushed her and now you've seen firsthand the damage that can be done by being confrontational. It looks like you managed to end on a good note, so don't push your luck. And don't call and apologize. You have nothing to apologize for and she knows it. Besides a little jealousy is healthy and shows her you care. As long as it doesn't turn vengeful.

You want revenge? Go date someone else. Don't do anything stupid.

Now you have to decide whether you are going to stick to your guns and wait for her. It only gets harder from here on out.

January 16, 2004

I beg you not to send it. It feels good to write. Perhaps you can put it in the shredder, and pretend you sent it.

January 16, 2004

Thanks LOST for those kind words........yes I know that maybe going out with someone else will be some way of 'getting back' at her...although I cant see how as i know my heart STILL wont be fully into it.

It just hurts to think some little runt like this guy got a chance with my loved one and she wouldnt give that to me. Im sure there are other ways of trying to get over your ex? Just having sex with anybody had me lose respect for her. If its that easy for her now and here, imagine what she can do when she's away? Stuff knows... if she settles down, i cant see it being with someone who she truly loves. Maybe thats the just revenge? But then i'll be in the same boat as I am in now.....without her

January 16, 2004

First off, she is not going on a trip to get away from you. (shame on you sarah)

Kit mentioned in an earlier post that people have been coming to her with their troubles and that is one reason she is getting away. I did not mean Kit specifically. I meant in general, she is having a hard time already and wants to get away from all of that.

Kit - I'm pretty sure you're hating me right now, but as you know, I am honest. I am a woman and I'm straight up when it comes to these things.

Anyhow, I think that you should definitely write the letter, but do not send it. It won't do any good. Don't involve her in your pursuit for revenge. Instead, show her that you're better than that and that you can live your life without her, because you CAN.

If she feels guilty after reading it, thats a small price to pay for what she's done don't you think???

Kit - She did not intend to hurt you, and you have to realize this. She has a right to move on, she has the right to do as she wishes, and you do not have a right to interfere in that. If it makes her feel better to get over you by dating that guy, then so be it. You can't hold it against her and certainly not give her a slap in the face by sending her a letter with your angry feelings. The second that my ex disrespected me, I cut him out of my life. Do you want this to happen to you? To have this relationship end on bitter terms?

There's 99% chance that I wont see her again and so she may never nkow what she's done, what she's lost or how she could've had something she's been looking for that was sitting right under her nose.

She knows. You've shown it to her by calling her. She knows what she's lost too because she thought about it after breakfast that time. She's thought things through and the fact of the matter is that she is leaving, and the best you can do is let it be. Time will tell where things stand. If you really love her, let her go and let her be happy. She can't be happy knowing that you are so angry with her.

I'm really sorry that this has happened, and I know you probably truly hate me by now, but I hope that I have been able to give you some insight. The guys on here have given you great advice too. Please really think things through. Don't do anything drastic. I wish you the best.

January 17, 2004

Kit,

I do not understand your desire for revenge. I went to see my psychologist yesterday and we went through a few things. we discussed the pain i had caused my ex and analysed that. at the end she asked me what pain did i feel. i thought for a while. in the end i said that i had the pain of the failed relationship and pain of grief from its loss, but that my ex had not really caused me any pain. she has a right to live her life as she wants and that her decision was made by her and based on what she felt was right for her and her daughter. she did not want to hurt me (i could see the pain in her eyes everytime we met). please do not think revenge as this will consume you and turn your love into hate - do you want that ? honour her love for you and understand she never wanted to hurt you. she has not done these things to hurt you but rather is just simply moving on. you cannot own her and her future. if you are to have any future interactions then do not do this as all you can achieve is more pain to yourself. she knows your pain and cannot do anything more to ease it. leave her in peace and understand why it happened and learn for the future.

wish her well on her trip and accept the penpal offer - do not close the door. she most probably will return and you may have the chance to start again.

do not judge her by what she has done. how many times have you asked for a second chance to correct your mistakes. well maybe she has made a mistake and will probably make several more ... give her the right to make mistakes and not be sentenced for these so harshly. we all make mistakes and it is how we judge those that will give us any chance in the future.

come to peace with the reality and let go with love - it is all you can do now, but please do not turn your love into hate as she never wanted to hurt you.

January 17, 2004

CARE i guess why im set on getting revenge or trying to find a way to hurt her is because I am sad and disappointed in her. I find myself losing a bit of respect for her and also noticing that there is a change in her that is not like her....becoming someone that she is totally not?

I remember at the beginning when we had broken up and I was looking for anyway to interact with her and we did talk about sex. we did admit that the sex between the two of us was the best we had ever had and I know that i suggested that maybe we could just do the 'physical' side of things. She was hesitant as she said there was a lot of feelings there between us and it could get messy. I told her I've accepted what she's decided and I would be happy to just do the sex side of things. She said she would think about it and get back to me....

of course, she didnt get back to me about it and it hurt when she told me that she let this guy "make a move on her' cos she was just going with the flow and she just wanted to have 'some fun'. Then of course, as males would, he wanted more and wanted the relationship! thats when she said no more.

WHY would she say no to me, knowing 1. the sex is good, 2. i've stated its just physical nothing else. I knew that if i had been in her life a bit more and if she let me be around her more, then maybe it could've been me that would've made a move and she'd have 'just let it happen to have some fun'........i guess im angry cos she didnt want to give me that chance.....sounds like the story of my life? No 2nd chances.....

I've accepted that she's going to go and I wont hear from her until she's going to call me about picking up my stuff. I wont hold my breath that she will keep in contact me with me whilst she's away as i've found her starting to lie to me about little things and she may say "yeah i'll keep in touch"....whats happened in these past few days has made me realise that maybe I dont know if she's the one for me anymore as she's lost her values and morals and if she cant love me as much or more than I love her....why would i want someone like that?

I know im supposed to take the high road here....but i've not got anything at all from her to point me in the right direction. Even her mum has said she was surprised that she did not talk to her about this guy as she tells her mum everything......changes again?

I want to be positive, i want to be her friend and keep in touch with her whilst she's away and ultimately have the fairy tale ending that she will return, we will re-unite and be one...better than before! Who knows...maybe that can happen....i dont know, my love for her is slowly being consumed by sadness and this dark cloud of uncertainty...anyone have any advice on how to get back on top of this and keep that light shining for the two of us?

January 17, 2004

Kit,

maybe because sex with you would have caused you more pain for you and that pain would have hurt her more. she loves you and doesnt want to hurt you.

dont worry about sex it is just a physical thing that happens .... it is when you make love that it means something.

she is alone and wants to move on and sometimes these things happen. stop analusing everything as you will go mad and also you will make assumptions of the truth that are not correct.

she is an individual. she has a right to do these things. what would having sex with you meant to you ???? more than she wanted it to mean i guess. my lady did have sex with me a month after breaking up and it meant more than just sex to both of us, but now she has learnt that to limit my pain means she must be very cold towards me. free her from this pain and dont make her look after both of you and herself.

if it meant nothing to her and she wanted no relationship then that is what it was ... sex is sex ... making love is making love.

please forget the revenge thing as she has done nothing wrong and your revenge will only hurt you and make you bitter. be her friend as it sounds like she needs them. support her trip and be a penpal.], it is your only hope. i am looking for ways of keeping contact with my ex and currently have none. take what is on offer and stop arguing.

January 19, 2004

Hmmmmmmmmm valentines is coming up and this will be the first without her

Would it be wrong or too forward to send her a single yellow rose with a small note:

Roses are yellow

Violets are Blue

It was exactly 2yrs ago when I first sent

a rose to you....

Just a bit of background, 2yrs ago when valentines came around, i sent her a rose 'anonymously' but she was able to put two and two together to figure it was me.....when we had started going out with each other, she asked me and I said yes it was me! Said it made her smile and felt very special when she got it......she loved when I surprised her and did little things as she loves the romance...

Would this be too much? Or should I totally leave it, send nothing?

January 19, 2004

Kit,

Valentines is going to be hard for a lot of people who are alone. Do you have any friends you could spend the day with? What about trying to get involved in some kind of charity work or even reaching out to someone else in need to take your mind off your own pain? In any case log on to LS and type away, you'll always find a listening ear here or at least a big old boot to kick you up the butt if needed. Send us your poems and thoughts and I'm always open the the occasional rose but get through Feb, like Malcom X say '..by whatever means possible...'. Without sending her ANYTHING!

You're not the only one out there trying to accept a break up and you are not alone. Read thought some threads here on 'coping' and force yourself to accept that you are not in the same place you were two years ago. She's moved on, try to do the same yourself.

January 19, 2004

Kit,

Save yourself more pain. What do you think she will do with this rose. Come running back to you ... she has had 3 months to do this and it hasnt happened. all that will happen is that you send the rose and sit and wait for a positive reply. The pain and anxiety of no response is devastating so save yourself this pain. You remember the beauty of the past but she doesnt, otherwise she would have come back by now. Leave her alone, especially on this day. There will be other days for you to contact her that are less pressuring to her. Go slow this will take a lot of time to win.

take care...

cheers

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