ComeUndone Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Most break-ups happen under bad circumstances it seems... almost every one of mine were this way. I can't actually say that I'm able name one of my friends that had anything other than a bad breakup as well. Surely there are plenty of people out there that, after much thought, realized their SO was not right for them and, even though they still loved him/her, decided to break it off. How does one accomplish this? Anyone here ever been through a good breakup?
ADF Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 There is no such thing as a "good" break up, at least not in the sense I think you mean. There is always some sense of loss, some heartache, some regret. Granted, some break ups are relatively amaicable while others are relatively ugly. The key word is "relatively."
kimflute26 Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I think I know what the OP means... It's those break ups that occur without either party hating each other. No yelling, sceaming... etc. I'm going through one of those right now. My ex told me he loved me, but we just couldnt work right now for reasons I wont go into in this thread, but that he'd always be there for me. It wasn't ugly by any means and we're still keeping in touch. So I guess that would be a "good" breakup. Am I right??..
Tasha1675 Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Hmm, well I guess in some ways my break up could be classed as good in that we both said how much we loved each other and hugged and cried and really didn't want it to be over. There was no arguing or shouting or bad words said on either side. However...I was the dumpee and him ending it was devestating so in that respect it was a bad break up. It was also bad because I had to leave my job, move out etc and really start my life again. And, although there were no bad words said and my ex wanted to be with me, he could see himself cheating which was so very bad! On the other hand, it could be classed as good as it opened up a million new possibilities to me in terms of work, seeing my friends much more etc. I am going back to university later this year too which is something I never dreamt possible when my ex and I were together. In other ways it is bad though, as I feel I lost my best friend when we finished and have maintained NC ever since so I still miss him all the time. I think it was bad for him too as a few months after the break up he told a friend of mine that he still loved me and for that reason he couldn't contact me. Maybe that is why he still hasn't contacted me...I don't know. Ultimately I think the break up was good, I had forgotten who I was in the relationship and I now feel that I have got my life back. Yet with retrospect now I can see how things would be so much better if we gave it another go. I just wish he would want to. Maybe it would have been better to have a bad break up so I wouldn't still love him and wish it could be different! I don't know!
Jimmy87 Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 My breakup was fairly amicable, she broke it off with me, I agreed that we had no real future with things the way they were, I knew I had to move on with my life without her but I still love her, I have another girlfriend but she's just a rebound and she is with anothe guy who im sure is just a rebound.
Fouts Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Good breakups occur when both people realize they're not into the relationship or marriage anymore and agree to end it before they cheat or do things that create bad feelings. It rarely happens as most people are too insecure to leave one relationship before at least sparking the flame on a new one.
Author ComeUndone Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 I think I know what the OP means... It's those break ups that occur without either party hating each other. No yelling, sceaming... etc. I'm going through one of those right now. My ex told me he loved me, but we just couldnt work right now for reasons I wont go into in this thread, but that he'd always be there for me. It wasn't ugly by any means and we're still keeping in touch. So I guess that would be a "good" breakup. Am I right??.. Yes, this is what I mean. I did have one of these... we were both sad but we realized we weren't right for each other. I initiated the breakup, and I did already have another boyfriend lined up, so I wasn't connected to him emotionally anymore. I wonder how a breakup would be if we both loved each other but know we are too different in ways that would work against a future together. I don't want to imagine my life without my boyfriend, but I have come to realize that if we aren't able to make a future together, we would have one of these break-ups on our hands - not a yelling, drama filled split, but a really deep sadness for the loss of the relationship and the loss of someone I truly love. Just something that's been weighing on me lately.
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