zoro Posted January 14, 2004 Posted January 14, 2004 Right before the holidays I went through a very painful break up it still hurts. It was one of those "need space" ones. I tried my best to get her back but she wouldn't give things another try. I was devastated, couldn't eat, sleep, blah blah blah. I know this is a bad way to cope, but I tried to find comfort by getting involved with a couple of ex lovers (physically) if you know what I mean. I thought it would get my mind off things, ( sure for a while )But it only made miss my girl who broke up with me, because she is everything they're not. It's the worse place to be. Now that some people found out I'm single. A co-worker( WHO HAS A BOYFRIEND) confessed to me that she always had crush on me ( I' always found her attractive but that was it). So being the vunerable idiot that I am right nowI told her that I was attracted to her. Ever since, we've been secrectly invovled. Obviously the right thing to do is to stop it. I've heard it all, there are many others who are single. But at the moment she is the only one who takes my mind completely off my ex. When I'm with her I don't hurt or even mourn my ex. And this chick isn't even my type. I know this is bad. Eventually it needs to stop but I don't want it to unless stopping means returning to my ex. Anyone can relate?
SoleMate Posted January 14, 2004 Posted January 14, 2004 Not really, because I would never have a workplace affair. The aftermath would be awkward, I have always thought. As long as you made it clear to this young lady that you're using her as a rebound medication, I don't really see major problems with what you're doing.
UCFKevin Posted January 14, 2004 Posted January 14, 2004 Never EVER mix business with pleasure. It will not end well.
look forward Posted January 14, 2004 Posted January 14, 2004 I agree with Solemate "never dip your pen in the company ink" so to speak it can just get too complicated.. doesn't sound like a lasting relationship if she is still with her bf and well are you sure you even want to go there it could get messy..
RobertoPNW Posted January 15, 2004 Posted January 15, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin Never EVER mix business with pleasure. It will not end well. I disagree, there are several couples at my work place. A total of three sets of couples got together successfully and were married. One set sits next to each other and work together perfectly. One other set work together on the same floor and it's all fine. My work place really is like a family.
GwiLo Posted January 19, 2004 Posted January 19, 2004 Some say Never Take Your Work Home, Others says keep your personal life out of the office. The end result is the same. Although some couples do get together in the workplace, and do continue to exist and co-operate well, personal observation suggests it's a bad idea. Yes, fall-out could make the office a complete minefield, and one that anyone would struggle with. But the blurring of lines between professional and personal lives is dangerous - to you, to her, to her bf and to your employer. No one will deny there is a certain thrill to it, but does that outweigh any risks that might be taken? At the end of the day, you say the right thing to do is to stop, but the fact that this woman removes the pain is acting like something of a barrier to you doing that. I might be oversimplifying it but Solemate mentioned "rebound medication" - sounds like this woman is nothing more than an aspirin. Sure, the pain is gone while you're with her, but like an aspirin, shes only masking the pain, hiding the reason. When you come of it, the pain returns. It might hurt a helluva lot, but it might be best (for you in the long run) to confront your feelings and deal with them head-on before getting involved with someone else so there are no lingering questions or doubts in your own mind.
ViewFromAbove Posted January 19, 2004 Posted January 19, 2004 I get the impression that hearts are being worn a little too much on the sleeve this year. I don't want to sound crass or take advantage of anybody but if need someone to take your mind off of this chic.....i'm single by the way. Just kidding! Good move....faster than a speeding bullet and greasier than a friday burger! Hey, don't be afraid to let this fish go. And we do whatever it takes to get us through. If rushing into a rebound relationship will make you feel worse then best be more discipline and use your judgement. It might take all the characters you can muster.
Arabess Posted January 19, 2004 Posted January 19, 2004 I did the 'rebound' thing too...with someone I worked with. It was WONDERFUL and helped me regain my self esteem. We never even discussed a 'relationship'....we were friends only. I will appreciate him the rest of my life.
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