imyourguyguy Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 (edited) first time posting on one of these website so bare with me.so heres the scenario. My girlfrend and i rarely argue, see each other maybe 4 time a week because of her job, no significant problems or anything. My girlfriend said she wanted a break 3 days ago. its only been 4 months since we started going out. i accepted that and said that "we just wont talk, see, or overall communicate with each other and when she realizes she still wants me in her life, ill only be 1 call away". she immediately replied with "im not trying to date other people but i need my time just for a bit.. im also not saying i dont want to see or talk to you" i left her alone and the next day at about 11pm she asked me to come over when she got off work because she missed me. i went over because i missed her too... not sure if i should have done that. she still talks about wanting to raise a family with me and getting married, and dates that we should go on when she has free time. we still kiss. i dont know what way to take this. is she letting me down slow or does she just need some time. side notes: shes 20, im 17 (18 in 8 days), but im homeschool and have a job. she works probably 45 hour weeks and before we "broke up" she got the job offer for another job and now is currently working 2 jobs pulling in 60 hour weeks. she still goes out and partys, goes to bars (she knows the bartender...), i dont party anymore since my DUI on my 17th bday but i would be a hypocrit to tell her not too. so my question is for you guys and girls is, is she hinting that she doesnt want to see me anymore and im just not catching it. or does she really just need some time apart to get her life together? Edited March 27, 2010 by imyourguyguy Title sounded weird
Rearden Metal Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 I'm not a lady, but I'll help you out. She's seeing other guys, or wants to. She's stringing you along to keep you there in case she doesn't find what she's looking for. At your age, it's good to get experience with relationships, but you should be wary of committing to anyone, NEVERMIND someone who is clearly looking for other things to occupy her time. I know she SAYS something different, but you need to listen to her actions, not her words. Best of luck!
Author imyourguyguy Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 Thanks man, do i confront her about this or just move on. im young and at the stage that it feels like i cant go on without her
threebyfate Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 No matter how busy anyone is with work, they make time for their priorities. In this, she's prioritized job, partying and you, in that order. Do you want to be her last priority? If not, it's time to express your own needs. If she won't meet them, then it's time to walk. And anyways, at 17 and 20, the two of you should be out having the time of your lives! Go out and date away.
Author imyourguyguy Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 about the prioritys. she still has to pay off her car and pay rent at her own house... so should i not mind being put under her jobs. the drinking i totally understand.
GrayClouds Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 (edited) Thanks man, do i confront her about this or just move on. im young and at the stage that it feels like i cant go on without her That is just a feeling, and while feelings are important they and should be given respect, it is important to know when they should not be the basis to your actions. This is one of those times. You can move on and should. It will not be easy but it is an important lesson to learn; no matter how much you care about someone if they do not respect you then they do not deserve to be in your life. She is currently treating you as second, maybe even third best in her life. She is saying she does not what to be tied down, if she is not, then a least she has her eyes on someone else. Our her back up plan if it does now work out. Never make someone a priority in your life when they only see you as an option in theirs. Go NC, focus on making yourself better and figuring out what, not who, you want from life. Good luck. Edited March 27, 2010 by GrayClouds
Author imyourguyguy Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 i forgot to add that also when she invited me over after work because she missed me. when i was leaving to go home and beat curfew. she started crying... i conforted her like any guy would and asked her whats wrong. she replied with. "i just want you to know i love you."
Rearden Metal Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 i forgot to add that also when she invited me over after work because she missed me. when i was leaving to go home and beat curfew. she started crying... i conforted her like any guy would and asked her whats wrong. she replied with. "i just want you to know i love you." Ugh. She's playing you so hard. She doesn't even know what she's doing. Get OUT of there. You don't need to tell her anything. Please, for the love of all things holy, have a GREAT time. You're SEVENTEEN. I'd pay like a million dollars to be 17 and do stuff over. Honestly, go get acquainted with some new vaginas. It's a pretty decent hobby for your teens.
dazzle22 Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 YOu are way too young to be this serious, with complicated relationship problems. Hold relationships in your teens and twenties very loosely. Most of the people you know now you will barely remember at 50, and not because of senility:laugh: but because you have outgrown each other or got sick of each other. Tis the truth. Also, every emotion when you are young feels like the be all, end all crusher. As a wise person told me, just because you "feel" strongly about something, does not mean it is reality. You will get over her. There will be many more trains pulling into your station. This one is sounding kind of squirrely and high maintenance anyway.
Author imyourguyguy Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 im going to take all of the advice you guys give me and use it but it seems like this website only saya leave the person
dazzle22 Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Not really. Only when it sounds like people are being taken advantage of and can't see it because they are too close to the situation, and lack perspective about how they are being treated poorly.
Author imyourguyguy Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 i ignored her for maybe close too 3 gours today. she is at work now. i texted her saying text me when you get home. she immediately called me again, when i picked up, she was crying because i would not talk to her. wtf is with that???
Rearden Metal Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 i ignored her for maybe close too 3 gours today. she is at work now. i texted her saying text me when you get home. she immediately called me again, when i picked up, she was crying because i would not talk to her. wtf is with that??? She's not liking not having control over you. When you take that away, she's feeling guilty, lost, probably a bit powerless. And, she might be more attracted to the stronger, controlled you. So stop caving in for her. Grab your sack and move forward. NC, dude.
GrayClouds Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 im going to take all of the advice you guys give me and use it but it seems like this website only saya leave the person Dude, she said it for us: . My girlfriend said she wanted a break 3 days ago. What we are saying is she made here choice now you need to take care of yourself, behave in manner that makes you proud and strong. Accepting her decision in away that communicates you know you worth, that is by not waiting for her but moving on. Read this thread: So you want a second chance?
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