rebirth Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Sorry for the long post. Thanks for looking at it though. We are both teenagers. We dated for 8 months and had a wonderful relationship. I've had a few other relationships and this one was by far the best...almost perfect actually. I thought I was going to marry this girl. Seriously everything seemed to be going great. Her parents loved me, my parents loved her, we did so many things together and had so much fun In all 8 months, we never had 1 fight. We talked a few things out, but no real fight. We had a wonderful Valentine's Day together and then 5 days after Valentine's Day, she dumped me. I was devastated. I still am. On Valentine’s Day we went to see a movie, and then we went grocery shopping for ingredients to make dinner. We made dinner together and then ate at a candlelit dinner I set up. It was perfect. In a card she made me she said “you are my everything.” Five days later, it’s over. She dumped me on that Friday, the 19th. She asked me not to talk to her for at least a week so we both know that the break up is real. She didn’t really explain why she did it, so I caved and texted her the next day, but felt horrible about it. She texted me the following Wednesday after she heard that I was ill. We met the following Sunday to talk about the break up. She told me that the spark of the relationship was gone and that she might have a crush on another guy. We decided that we would still try to be friends, and that we would go to the mall to have her diamond necklace I bought her inspected. This had to be done or else the warranty would be voided. We didn’t talk for about a week and a half after that, until she texted me one night. The conversation went like this: Her: Hey, I have a question. When exactly was the last time we had sex? Me: Probably like 6 months ago or so. Why? Her: Ok, I was just wondering. Me: um ok? Her: Ok, I thought it was more recently and I’m worried. I’m getting a little chubby and ive been having dreams that I am pregnant. Me: You aren’t pregnant, think about it. You’ve had your period every month since then and you would be showing a lot right not, not just getting a lil chubby. Just relax. :-) Her: You are right. I’m just freaking out for no reason and I’m concerned for my mental health, I’m sorry to bother you with this. Not like you even care. Goodnight. Me: I do still care about you. You are still my friend. I just think you are worrying a little too much. Goodnight So about 3 weeks later with almost no contact, I picked her up to go to the mall. She was wearing the necklace I bought her for Christmas and said that she has been wearing it since the break up. When we were together that day, I was dying inside. I played it cool and I didn’t ask about other guys or bring up our relationship. It was a fun time to catch up, but after I dropped her off, I was devastated. I missed her so much and it felt like the past month of recovery went down the drain. The next day, I texted her. This is how the conversation went: (she left for an out of the country school trip the day after, so I wanted to text her before that) Me: Hey, I forgot to tell you this yesterday, but… Have a great trip J Be safe. Her: Thanks! And thank you so much for taking me to the mall yesterday. It really means a lot to me. Me: No problem. It was fun to catch up with you a little bit. Her: Ya definitely. You seem happier. A lot more colorful! And it seems like you have a plan for yourself now. That’s good. Ill bring you back some coffee if you want. (from where she is going on her trip) Me: Ya, I have opened my eyes to a lot of different things recently. And ya, coffee would be awesome J Everybody keeps saying that we are both too young and that there are plenty of other fish in the sea, but that's not how I feel about it. This girl made me so happy. I really do care about her. How do I get her back? Now that we've met once and everything went well, what do I do now? I am contemplating whether or not to tell her how I truly feel. That I am miserable and I miss her. That we can have a lot of time times together still. I am afraid that if I do this, it will just push her away. But what if I don’t? Then she will never know. She is a little stubborn and I think the NC thing didn't work. What should I do? Should I tell her how I feel? Why was she still wearing the necklace that I bought her? I need help interpreting these texts. I’m I just reading into them too much or does she want to see me again? Any answers will be appreciated. Thank you p.s.- Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors. I’m just operating on emotion right now. If you need any clarification on what I wrote, just ask. I will clarify.
Rearden Metal Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 If you want her back, you need to be occupied, have your own things going on, and appear to her that you are fine without her. Women need a strong man who has his sh*t together. Once you are too available and attentive to her, she will lose interest. It seems contrary to what "treating her well" is, but it's not. When you are together, treat her very well and be all about her. Otherwise, have a life and live it. Good luck bro!
Author rebirth Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 thanks man. I have definitely been "trying" to move on, but it is hard. Ive started working out, upgraded my wardrobe, and have been spending more time with friends. i tried to appear happy and just overall confidently when we met up. The only thing is that i feel like i should not play these games and hope that she'll come back. its been over a month of doing this and i want to tell her how i really feel. I want to ask her if she is happy or if she regrets the break up. Is this a bad move?
spriggig Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 thanks man. I have definitely been "trying" to move on, but it is hard. Ive started working out, upgraded my wardrobe, and have been spending more time with friends. i tried to appear happy and just overall confidently when we met up. The only thing is that i feel like i should not play these games and hope that she'll come back. its been over a month of doing this and i want to tell her how i really feel. I want to ask her if she is happy or if she regrets the break up. Is this a bad move? This is not "playing games", this is you re-centering yourself on YOU. Re-read Rearden's post--women do not want a man who is only about the woman--you must get back to, stay in, and maintain your own life. It's a bad move to contact her. Very bad move. Don't do it. Learn from those who have gone before--that's why you're here right? To learn?
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