Crazy Magnet Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 If you ladies want to A . Approach a man B. Set up a date C. Plan a date D. Pick him up E. Pay for the date F. Drop him off Then have at it.. I dont think many women want to do the above.. ha! I did just that on Friday for my BF. I called him up, asked him out, drove him around, and paid for it all. Lol I only thought it was fair that he get the royal treatment sometimes too . Interestingly, I'm the one who initially asked to meet up. (He had typed it in his first email to me, but deleted it. I wrote back and asked to meet him.) I'm also the one who said I wanted a relationship first. Being up front and doing a bit of chasing worked for me, but it fits well with the rest of my quirky self.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Well, since I am a woman, I'll have you know when I really need to pursue it's because I find the guy physically attractive ( not sexually) or his personality draws me to him. Never I have once thought about a guy sexually, at least not initially, until later on when I contemplate about sleeping with him. It is completely unnatural.. What do you mean by pursue? Ask out? Ask out again and again? Then take him on a date and pay? Or do you mean pursue as in striking up a conversation and waiting for him to ask you out? if he isn't phsically attracted to you it is a waste of time, but you can take him out if you like..
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 And why on Earth would I want to go to a show with a woman i did not even feel like approaching? Do you ladies think guys love going on dates just for the heck of it? I have better things to do than hang out with some girl i am not even attracted to.. You are painting for yourself, this image of you trotting down the street, sniffing up to every woman who isn't beat ugly and asking each one out. I've asked guys out. It has never been an issue. Sometimes I didn't find the guy so interesting after an attempt to get to know him, sometimes I did and we'd go out again. Never once was there an issue where the guy was stunned that he didn't get laid on the quick tip because I'd asked him. Often, if the date went well - they would ask me to something. Never once has it been the reaction of "Girl, did I walk up to you? No, 'cause I ain't interested." I asked my husband out first, so it can't be so very pointless for everyone. Just you maybe? Maybe its a maturity issue here and some people just don't get it.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 This is what these types of threads turn into.. Women using poor anecdotes to try and prove some point of "equality".. Here is an example of a good anecdote.. "I know a guy bitten by a dog.. Dogs can be dangerous." A good anecdote can be drawn from an experience that most people accept, or experience. Poor anecdote " Oh yeah, so what. I know a guy that bit a dog" Women asking men out is extremely rare, and we all know it.. And if it is anything close (A mutual decision to go on a date, people whom are friends first, or coworkers) then the woman claims she asked the man out and pursued him and had great success.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 It is completely unnatural.. What do you mean by pursue? Ask out? Ask out again and again? Then take him on a date and pay? Or do you mean pursue as in striking up a conversation and waiting for him to ask you out? if he isn't phsically attracted to you it is a waste of time, but you can take him out if you like.. Asking him out/ pursuing. I don't understand why you would think it's unnatural? Why would the guy have thought it would be a waste of time? I actually have asked a few people, and they never ever turned me down to tell me they're not interested in going out.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Asking him out/ pursuing. I don't understand why you would think it's unnatural? Why would the guy have thought it would be a waste of time? I actually have asked a few people, and they never ever turned me down to tell me they're not interested in going out. So let me get this straight.. You see a handsome stranger, you go up to him and say "Hey, are you single? Can I get your phone number?" You then call him and take him out to dinner and a movie, or something related?
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 This is what these types of threads turn into.. Women using poor anecdotes to try and prove some point of "equality".. Here is an example of a good anecdote.. "I know a guy bitten by a dog.. Dogs can be dangerous." A good anecdote can be drawn from an experience that most people accept, or experience. Poor anecdote " Oh yeah, so what. I know a guy that bit a dog" Women asking men out is extremely rare, and we all know it.. And if it is anything close (A mutual decision to go on a date, people whom are friends first, or coworkers) then the woman claims she asked the man out and pursued him and had great success. All offered posts are anecdotal or from personal experience. When you comment on what is rare, you can only comment on what is rare to you even if only to show your point. My point is from my own personal experiences. Just because it differs from yours, it isn't less valid. Your posts let me know you are from a mindset I do not mix with whenever it can be avoided. So it would stand to reason that what you think, believe, and experience would not hold sway in my own experiences because those experiences would not be with people like yourself. I think you need to consider that you are not the default standard sometimes and what plays out for you has much to do with what your own comfort level will let you entertain as a possibility. What you describe is simply not what I've found to be true. Get over it.
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 So let me get this straight.. You see a handsome stranger, you go up to him and say "Hey, are you single? Can I get your phone number?" You then call him and take him out to dinner and a movie, or something related? What is wrong with that? I don't see why it bothers you so much that some people do things differently. If it works for them - great! It isn't about you and that is okay.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 What you describe is simply not what I've found to be true. Get over it. So women asking out men, taking them on dates, and pursuing them is common, but just not in my world? I disagree. I think most people on Earth disagree as well.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 What is wrong with that? I don't see why it bothers you so much that some people do things differently. If it works for them - great! It isn't about you and that is okay. Who does that? I am saying it is extremely rare..I never met a guy in my life that it happened to, but know many girls it happens to daily..
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 So women asking out men, taking them on dates, and pursuing them is common, but just not in my world? I disagree. I think most people on Earth disagree as well. I don't know how common it is but I do see it often enough to suspect it isn't so rare as one might ASSUME. Why not find out before burying your head in - yeah? And it really shouldn't matter, people doing things differently are not people your rigidity will have you often dealing with.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I don't know how common it is but I do see it often enough to suspect it isn't so rare as one might ASSUME. Why not find out before burying your head in - yeah? And it really shouldn't matter, people doing things differently are not people your rigidity will have you often dealing with. I am just calling BS.. if women want to ask out men why would I care..? I am pointing out it is not in the female nature to approach strangers, ask them out, pick them up, take them out, pay, then call for a second date. That is pursuing. But ofcourse, "pursuing" is twisted into something completely different to win an argument by some posters..
St. Nick Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I am just calling BS.. if women want to ask out men why would I care..? I am pointing out it is not in the female nature to approach strangers, ask them out, pick them up, take them out, pay, then call for a second date. That is pursuing. But ofcourse, "pursuing" is twisted into something completely different to win an argument by some posters.. You said women pursuing women was rare, but not impossible. I agree that it's rare. I was only saying women should do it more often.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I am just calling BS.. if women want to ask out men why would I care..? I am pointing out it is not in the female nature to approach strangers, ask them out, pick them up, take them out, pay, then call for a second date. That is pursuing. But ofcourse, "pursuing" is twisted into something completely different to win an argument by some posters.. If I have to approach I would be more discreet than flat out asking him out. I would at least make an effort at introductions. You're right it's slightly uncommon for a girl to go up to a complete stranger, but that does not mean it has not happened. And as fr paying for them, I have paid for dinner, entertainment in the past. Most of the it had been because I offered.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 You said women pursuing women was rare, but not impossible. I agree that it's rare. I was only saying women should do it more often. Have you ever, in your life, been approached by a female you do not know, she asked for your number, then she called, picked you up, and paid for a date? That is the "pursuit dance" men engage in to "conquer" a female. When the stranger female approached me, we had sex within an hour.. No pursuit dance necessary..
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 If I have to approach I would be more discreet than flat out asking him out. I would at least make an effort at introductions. You're right it's slightly uncommon for a girl to go up to a complete stranger, but that does not mean it has not happened. And as fr paying for them, I have paid for dinner, entertainment in the past. Most of the it had been because I offered. Well that's my point.. What females call "pursuing" is completely different from what males consider pursuing. Have you ever in your life saw a stranger somewhere, approached, asked for his number, then called to take him on a date you planned? Then called after the date to set up another? And another? Until you can finally get into his pants?
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I am just calling BS.. if women want to ask out men why would I care..? I am pointing out it is not in the female nature to approach strangers, ask them out, pick them up, take them out, pay, then call for a second date. That is pursuing. But ofcourse, "pursuing" is twisted into something completely different to win an argument by some posters.. Obviously it IS in the female nature to do so; I AM female. See you keep bouncing back and forth between two arguments here. You say its unnatural, to which I and others say it happens and we do it. Then you say "oh its so rare" - something you cannot know for certain. And then when someone points this out, you go right back to how unnatural it is. Unnatural because you don't welcome it? Rare only because you don't welcome and therefore don't see it play out? I mean, why not just say "I don't like it when it happens and don't wish to date a woman who would do the asking"? It seems to be where you are coming from and if that is the case and if it works for you - cool! But understand that you can have your preference without making up some BS about it being unnatural when others do or like different from yourself. Again, YOU are not default. YOU want to win something here, but there is no prize. Not even a nice moment where you consider a new possibility or even an acceptance for different perspectives. I'm not trying to win anything with you man; I'm already a winner enough for things I find to be larger accomplishments.
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 That is the "pursuit dance" men engage in to "conquer" a female. I think your stumbling block is wrapped up nicely in this statement. Conquer? Really? Are you Conan? Woman are not some level to beat in a video game. When you have sex with a woman you are getting out of her what she is getting out of you. If there is any "conquering" going on, it is mutual. You make it sound like a crime scene. Blech!
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Obviously it IS in the female nature to do so; I AM female. . Ok, so you have approached a stranger, asked if he was single, asked for his number, called him, picked him up, took him out, paid, then dropped him off, then called him again for date 2, and 3 and 4 etc etc? Or, it was some guy you already knew fairly well? or some online guy, lol.. Completely different..
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I think your stumbling block is wrapped up nicely in this statement. Conquer? Really? Are you Conan? Woman are not some level to beat in a video game. When you have sex with a woman you are getting out of her what she is getting out of you. If there is any "conquering" going on, it is mutual. You make it sound like a crime scene. Blech! I think your stumbling block is not knowing the definition of pursue.. verb,-sued, -su·ing. –verb (used with object) 1. to follow in order to overtake, capture, kill, etc.; chase.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Well that's my point.. What females call "pursuing" is completely different from what males consider pursuing. Have you ever in your life saw a stranger somewhere, approached, asked for his number, then called to take him on a date you planned? Then called after the date to set up another? And another? Until you can finally get into his pants? And apparently you think I " pursue" like a guy I don't pursue for the endgame of sex, if that's the point, I wouldn't waste money to go dates. I pursue because I genuinely want to get to know someone, which in your dictionary doesn't seem to exist. Why would think all women think like men and want sex? If that were the case the point of pursuing or chasing is pointless ( for women anyways).
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Ok, so you have approached a stranger, asked if he was single, asked for his number, called him, picked him up, took him out, paid, then dropped him off, then called him again for date 2, and 3 and 4 etc etc? Or, it was some guy you already knew fairly well? or some online guy, lol.. Completely different.. I have asked out a guy the first I met him. Generally if the first date went well it opened the door for other dates. So I asked for, some they asked for. I don't let a guy pay for me on casual dates even when he asks me out, so I don't know why I would have to pay for him just because I asked him out. I have been the one who drove, but mostly I stick to meeting up when I'm just beginning to get to know them for safety reasons. If he ended up being freak, I wanted to be able to just leave. On other occasions it was someone I saw a few times in my social circle before asking them out but those were more time where conversation made it obvious we were both digging each other and I was just the first one to vocalize it. Same situations there after though. And dude, even if the "one hour" girl had been approached by you instead prior to hitting the sack, there STILL wouldn't be much pursuing going on....just saying.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 And apparently you think I " pursue" like a guy I don't pursue for the endgame of sex, if that's the point, I wouldn't waste money to go dates. I pursue because I genuinely want to get to know someone, which in your dictionary doesn't seem to exist. Why would think all women think like men and want sex? If that were the case the point of pursuing or chasing is pointless ( for women anyways). Women do not, and cannot pursue.. It is simply silly..Unless you are changing the definition of the word itself..
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I think your stumbling block is not knowing the definition of pursue.. verb,-sued, -su·ing. –verb (used with object) 1. to follow in order to overtake, capture, kill, etc.; chase. So you're saying you overtake, capture and then kill all the woman you ask out? Again with the Conan crap. C'mon This is just more of your BS angling for a win here. This post you've offered makes no sense. Dating isn't about murder.
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