janie423 Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Well, what do you think? If a man wants to date a woman, he calls her and chases her - that's called pursuing. If a woman wants to date a man and calls him and chases him - she's a bunny boiler, clingy, desparate. Agree or disagree?
OndaChin Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Well, what do you think? If a man wants to date a woman, he calls her and chases her - that's called pursuing. If a woman wants to date a man and calls him and chases him - she's a bunny boiler, clingy, desparate. Agree or disagree? BIG TIME DISAGREE!! Any man (atleast mature ones) would love to see a woman show some "Confidence" and "Initiative". Very Sexy and beautiful... if you ask me.
St. Nick Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 BIG TIME DISAGREE!! Any man (atleast mature ones) would love to see a woman show some "Confidence" and "Initiative". Very Sexy and beautiful... if you ask me. I also disagree. A woman who pursues is sexy and rare. If women want to change this so-called double standard then it's up to them. It was once believed a woman was too ignorant to hold positions of power wisely. Women these days have proved that wrong. If it's believed that a woman who pursues a man is a "bunny boiler" then it's up to women to change that as well, rather than whining about it.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Well look.. The idea of a woman pursuing a man is quite silly. A man pursues a woman BECAUSE he is sexually attracted to her.. Since you cannot walk up to a girl and say "let's screw", the man asks for her number, takes her on dates, etc, so that hopefully soon she will trust him enough to make love to him. Now let's look at a woman pursing a man.. If the man likes her as well,or is even remotely attracted to her, he will have sex with her immediately, or would be willing to. What is the pursuit? If he will not have sex with you, he finds you repulsive.. No amount of pursuing will change this.
Lizzie60 Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Well, what do you think? If a man wants to date a woman, he calls her and chases her - that's called pursuing. If a woman wants to date a man and calls him and chases him - she's a bunny boiler, clingy, desparate. Agree or disagree? Yes it is a double standard.. but women have to take their place.. and completely ignore those silly double standards...
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 If you ladies want to A . Approach a man B. Set up a date C. Plan a date D. Pick him up E. Pay for the date F. Drop him off Then have at it.. I dont think many women want to do the above..
xpaperxcutx Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Outright pursuing would make a girl look tacky. I would rather flirt to give the guy an opening to pursue. It's a win-win situation.
Woggle Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Men who persue are also called stalkers and sometimes get restraining orders so it goes both ways.
neowulf Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 (edited) Well look.. If the man likes her as well,or is even remotely attracted to her, he will have sex with her immediately, or would be willing to. What is the pursuit? If he will not have sex with you, he finds you repulsive.. No amount of pursuing will change this. Going to have to throw my lot in with Calizaggy here. Consider the below experiment for a moment.. Two actors were sent on to a London University campus with hidden cameras to ask a simple question: "Will you sleep with me?" One is a woman asking men and the other a man asking women. The results could not be more different. Just as in the original experiment (by Elaine Hatfield of the University of Hawaii and Russ Clark of the University of North Texas) no women said yes but three-quarters of the men thought it sounded a good idea. The difference in men and women’s approach to sex has an evolutionary basis. Each month a woman releases just one egg. Should this egg be fertilised she then has to carry the baby through nine months of pregnancy. It’s a big investment. In contrast a man has virtually limitless sperm available and could father hundreds of children in the same nine months. So it’s not surprising that women tend to be more choosy when deciding just who to have sex with. - http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/tv/humaninstinct/programme2.shtml So there you have it really. Pursuing men is for the most part a pointless endevor. Even in the event that he decides to sleep with a women, it says almost nothing about his level of emotional investment in her. It's been said before and it'll be said again. The best a woman can do is send strong, clear signals of her interest (through flirting etc) and wait for the man to make the first move. If he won't, he's not interested. Edited March 28, 2010 by neowulf
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Also this.. http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/23/brizendine.male.brain/index.html?hpt=C1 Perhaps the biggest difference between the male and female brain is that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain. Men are men, women are women.. It is our INSTINCT to pursue..Not a "double standard" imposed by society..
St. Nick Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Well look.. The idea of a woman pursuing a man is quite silly. A man pursues a woman BECAUSE he is sexually attracted to her.. Since you cannot walk up to a girl and say "let's screw", the man asks for her number, takes her on dates, etc, so that hopefully soon she will trust him enough to make love to him. Now let's look at a woman pursing a man.. If the man likes her as well,or is even remotely attracted to her, he will have sex with her immediately, or would be willing to. What is the pursuit? If he will not have sex with you, he finds you repulsive.. No amount of pursuing will change this. You and neowulf have a flawed argument. The OP was talking about dating, not just sex. If a woman goes up a man and asks for a date, what's wrong with that? The part I bolded could easily be said for men too.
St. Nick Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Also this.. http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/23/brizendine.male.brain/index.html?hpt=C1 Perhaps the biggest difference between the male and female brain is that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain. Men are men, women are women.. It is our INSTINCT to pursue..Not a "double standard" imposed by society.. So what if the pursuit area is larger? They still have the area. Why not use it no matter how small it is? Physically, the average man is many times stronger than women, but does that mean women shouldn't try to develop any kind of physical strength at all? Your argument is still flawed.
neowulf Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 You and neowulf have a flawed argument. The OP was talking about dating, not just sex. If a woman goes up a man and asks for a date, what's wrong with that? The part I bolded could easily be said for men too. Well, that would depend on what the woman wants out of the date I guess. If she's looking for sex, then yes, it's probably not a bad way to go about it. The odds are certaintly in her favor. If however, she's looking for something a bit more long term.. the fact that she's had to make the first move doesn't say much about the guys level of interest in her. It's been shown in a number of studdies (don't have them on hand..) that the "interest level" always appears to be slighly higher in the person that does the approaching. This makes sense really. If the women is happy to be on the "high" interest end of the relationship .. then fair enough. However, this often leads to situations where the women complains her man has a "Take it or leave it " attitude towards the relationship. The things we're given for free, we usually take for granted. Make a man work a little for what he wants and he'll value it all that much more. I'm not suggesting women stop flirting or making eye contact.. or doing what ever else she can to say "Hey, dummy.. ask. me. out!". I'm just saying that it's not in her best interest long term to do the asking.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 You and neowulf have a flawed argument. The OP was talking about dating, not just sex. If a woman goes up a man and asks for a date, what's wrong with that? The part I bolded could easily be said for men too. Why do you ask a girl on a date? To be friends? I personally do not ask out women I would not want to sleep with at some point. I doubt a woman would ask me out either if she found me unnattractive sexually.
neowulf Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 (edited) So what if the pursuit area is larger? They still have the area. Why not use it no matter how small it is? Physically, the average man is many times stronger than women, but does that mean women shouldn't try to develop any kind of physical strength at all? Your argument is still flawed. It has nothing to do with "developing" the area. It simply says that all things being equal, men's brains devote more nerons to the problem than women do. They think about it more. It drives them more. It's more developed. Of course women are free to do what ever they wish. But claiming it's a double standard is incorrect. Instinct and evolution decided the rules well before we had the words to describe the concept. Edited March 28, 2010 by neowulf
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 As an example.. I was at a beach in a foreign country a few years back.. A girl sat next to me and smiled. We talked for a bit, and she said "Will you be my boyfriend", in broken English.. I said yes, we went and had sex within an hour.. I didn't see her again.. What on Earth would be for her to pursue? Why would she need to ask me on a date? I was ready to have sex then.. Conversely, I met a different girl I liked and asked her out.. I took her out several times before sex.. That is pursuing.. She did not know me well enough to have sex with me the minute i asked her out.. So I had to pursue..
St. Nick Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Why do you ask a girl on a date? To be friends? I personally do not ask out women I would not want to sleep with at some point. I doubt a woman would ask me out either if she found me unnattractive sexually. Why would women accept a date from a guy? Only because she's sexually attracted to him? Come on. She's interested in his job, how much he makes, his status, cuz he makes her laugh, etc. Female standards for choosing men is different than male. So if I ask a woman out and she accepts, she's accepting more than just for sex. You know this. And before, didn't you once agree with me that women date a guy they don't really find physically attractive mainly because they make them laugh? Are you going to tell me you've never seen a woman date a man mainly because he makes her laug? Please. It has nothing to do with "developing" the area. It simply says that all things being equal, men's brains devote more nerons to the problem than women do. They think about it more. It drives them more. It's more developed. Of course women are free to do what ever they wish. But claiming it's a double standard is incorrect. Instinct and evolution decided the rules well before we had the worlds to describe the concept. What I want to know is why women don't women think about it more? They've got the capacity to do it, so why shouldn't they do it? Who cares if men have it more? Also, please don't post another "study". That last one was soooo stupid. Of course, if a man walks up to a woman and says, "Want sex?" she's most likely gonna say no. And of course, if a hot chick walks up to a man and says, "Want sex?" many guys are gonna say yeah. It's common sense. Why would you do a study on that? What kinda idiot does a study on common knowledge? And another thing, when men pursue women guys don't ask, "Do you want sex?" They talk about other things and make it look like they're interested in more than just sex. That's why the study is flawed. Lastly, you may have a point that a pursuer has more interest than the pursued, but I highly doubt that just because a man pursues a woman and gets her, his interest in her is going to stay the same. It's still possible that he'll lose interest over time and look for someone else, while the woman may have developed strong feelings. I think calizaggy would agree with me. He's the one who said in that Sandra Bullock thread that all men or at least most men are likely to cheat. So even if a guy pursues, it doesn't mean he's interested in her or his interest is gonna stay.
St. Nick Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 As an example.. I was at a beach in a foreign country a few years back.. A girl sat next to me and smiled. We talked for a bit, and she said "Will you be my boyfriend", in broken English.. I said yes, we went and had sex within an hour.. I didn't see her again.. What on Earth would be for her to pursue? Why would she need to ask me on a date? I was ready to have sex then.. Conversely, I met a different girl I liked and asked her out.. I took her out several times before sex.. That is pursuing.. She did not know me well enough to have sex with me the minute i asked her out.. So I had to pursue.. Are you saying that asking someone out on a date is the same thing as asking for sex? If that's the case then I understand why we're confused.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Are you saying that asking someone out on a date is the same thing as asking for sex? If that's the case then I understand why we're confused. Are you saying you ask out women you would not have sex with?
St. Nick Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Are you saying you ask out women you would not have sex with? No. But when you, personally, ask a woman out, are you only asking for sex, and not any kinda relationship that includes a woman doing chores for you and other female stuff?
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 No. But when you, personally, ask a woman out, are you only asking for sex, and not any kinda relationship that includes a woman doing chores for you and other female stuff? It depends on the woman, but certainly I would be sexually attracted to her. After getting to know her, perhaps I might want more.. Then if i do want more, I pursue more until I "conquer" her. Women asking out men is pretty rare, but I am thinking if they did do it they would be sexually attracted to him. I guess it is just quite silly to picture a woman "Conquering me", as though I was the submissive one in the relationship.. Like I must be pursued and conquered?
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I think it is odd to assume if a woman asks the guy out - sex will be part of that equation so immediately that there would be no pursuit on either side. Ever consider a girl can ask out a guy for DRINKS. or to go to A SHOW.? If the guy enjoyed the time he spent, he could then call her up for a second date or accept another invitation from her to go do something else NOT SEX and an actual relationship be born of that? Too weird; just because some chippie screws you 1 hour after making a pass, it doesn't mean it is the only scenario that ever plays out when the guy didn't approach the girl.
sally4sara Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 No. But when you, personally, ask a woman out, are you only asking for sex, and not any kinda relationship that includes a woman doing chores for you and other female stuff? Chores are "female stuff" in a relationship beyond one of just sex? WHOOO boy .
xpaperxcutx Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 It depends on the woman, but certainly I would be sexually attracted to her. After getting to know her, perhaps I might want more.. Then if i do want more, I pursue more until I "conquer" her. Women asking out men is pretty rare, but I am thinking if they did do it they would be sexually attracted to him. I guess it is just quite silly to picture a woman "Conquering me", as though I was the submissive one in the relationship.. Like I must be pursued and conquered? Well, since I am a woman, I'll have you know when I really need to pursue it's because I find the guy physically attractive ( not sexually) or his personality draws me to him. Never I have once thought about a guy sexually, at least not initially, until later on when I contemplate about sleeping with him.
calizaggy Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I think it is odd to assume if a woman asks the guy out - sex will be part of that equation so immediately that there would be no pursuit on either side. Ever consider a girl can ask out a guy for DRINKS. or to go to A SHOW.? If the guy enjoyed the time he spent, he could then call her up for a second date or accept another invitation from her to go do something else NOT SEX and an actual relationship be born of that? Too weird; just because some chippie screws you 1 hour after making a pass, it doesn't mean it is the only scenario that ever plays out when the guy didn't approach the girl. And why on Earth would I want to go to a show with a woman i did not even feel like approaching? Do you ladies think guys love going on dates just for the heck of it? I have better things to do than hang out with some girl i am not even attracted to..
Recommended Posts