He says he loves me....I don't believe him anymore

[whichwayisup]

Your soon to be ex husband has EVERY RIGHT to go talk to your MM's wife. Let him if he wants to.

 

Your MM is absolutely SH.ITTING himself in fear that your H will tell his wife the truth.

 

She knows you two are friends, but trust me, he's MINIMIZED you in her eyes, and probably made it seem like it's a harmless crush you have on him, that it means nothing. She has NO clue that he is having an affair with you.. I mean, why else is he threatening your husband? Think about that.. Your MM knows he is dead meat and he'll have to face HIS consquences of cheating and betraying.

 

I am glad to hear you are divorcing. Reguardless of what the MM does, be alone for a while and let yourself heal.. You can't live for MM or hope one day he leaves his wife too. Be OK alone, either way.

 

Anyway, I think your MM is scum. He's controlling and will be putting more demands on you to suit him best. He's lost respect for you, wants you to be and look a certain way... I hope you're insulted and disgusted by how he's treating you. Think about DUMPING him as he doesn't sound worth all this effort.

[bestplayer]

He is going to D his W,just not now, he wants her to get better before he does,they live together but have no R.My H and I are in the process of divorce and yes we live together at the moment.

 

My H wants to work things out but it's done and my family knows already about my MM they are not happy they want to go and confront my MM.

 

We want to be together but so many people are making it hard for us,and yet we still hang on together.

 

why u have to care about people it should be only ur decison .

 

Btw I find it strange how ur husband still wants to work it out with in spite of ur affair , I think he should rather be running away from this mess.

[LosingMyself]

I'm wondering if you didn't come here expecting a different result. I'm wondering if you didn't perhaps hope we'd say that of course he's going to leave his W for you, of course he just wants you to look and feel your best. I imagine you might be thinking that we are not the ones in love with him, so how could we know? Your own friends are telling you that you are "high on love" and "not seeing things clear.". If you don't believe your own friends, why would you believe strangers on a public forum?

Though we have tried, it looks like you still have your "love blinders" on, and will have to see for yourself. Hopefully, we and your friends have planted some seeds in your mind. But those seeds probably won't grow until something happens to make you more open to them.

But the title of your thread is interesting. Perhaps you know in your heart what he's doing isn't right, but you're just not ready to say goodbye?

 

 

Yes I have been having doubts about his love for me,I am not as blind as I may seem.

 

I think all of us OW at one time start to question MM's feelings for us and if he is really going to leave W or not otherwise we would not be here asking for advice.

 

I have never doubted his love for me until a few months ago,I have known him for so many years before the A and we were in a emotional affair for a year before it went physical.

 

I want to still have hope in him,in us other than his reccent comments everything is still the same with us nothing has changed.

[LosingMyself]

why u have to care about people it should be only ur decison .

 

Btw I find it strange how ur husband still wants to work it out with in spite of ur affair , I think he should rather be running away from this mess.

 

 

I do care what people think we work together I am worried about what our superiors will think,his family my family knows they do not like it and I want them to accept him.

 

Yes my H wants to work on the M,I feel for him but at the same time I am ready to end it.

[Fallen Angel]

My tagline reads... Attempt not to deceive the god with thy mortal lips. Peer deep within thyself, and ask not questions to which thou already knowest the answer, seek not advice which thou dost not intend to obey.

 

What it means is... Do not attempt to fool us with your questions. Look inside yourself for the answer, the one you want is already there. There is no point in asking for advice that you have absolutely no intent to put to use. By asking questions to which you have already determined the answer, and by which predetermined answer you intend to use as the basis of your action, the only one you are fooling is yourself.

 

You are here not to seek honest insight, but to have us confirm for you what you want to believe. I personally see no point in anyone furthering this thread, as none of us are inclinded to pat you on the back and tell you this is a love worth persuing.

 

It is not.

 

You will learn in time.

 

I for one, am sorry that you will suffer for it. I wish you would make use of the wisdom of others. But you have already decided your course of action. Please note, that when you are hurting in the future from your choices, we will be here, with open arms ready to help anyway we can.

 

Good Luck to you on your journey. I wish you well.

[John Who]

Yes I have been having doubts about his love for me,I am not as blind as I may seem.

 

I think all of us OW at one time start to question MM's feelings for us and if he is really going to leave W or not otherwise we would not be here asking for advice.

 

I have never doubted his love for me until a few months ago,I have known him for so many years before the A and we were in a emotional affair for a year before it went physical.

 

I want to still have hope in him,in us other than his reccent comments everything is still the same with us nothing has changed.

 

 

You are on the fence,don't know maybe its just me but it seems like you are coming to a end of your A.

 

You are starting to notice the "little things" to make you qestion his true feelins,but a part of you still hopes you could be wrong.

 

Atleast you are starting to question,some people stay in A's for years hoping D-day is just around the corner.

[fooled once]

My tagline reads... Attempt not to deceive the god with thy mortal lips. Peer deep within thyself, and ask not questions to which thou already knowest the answer, seek not advice which thou dost not intend to obey.

 

What it means is... Do not attempt to fool us with your questions. Look inside yourself for the answer, the one you want is already there. There is no point in asking for advice that you have absolutely no intent to put to use. By asking questions to which you have already determined the answer, and by which predetermined answer you intend to use as the basis of your action, the only one you are fooling is yourself.

 

You are here not to seek honest insight, but to have us confirm for you what you want to believe. I personally see no point in anyone furthering this thread, as none of us are inclinded to pat you on the back and tell you this is a love worth persuing.

 

It is not.

 

You will learn in time.

 

I for one, am sorry that you will suffer for it. I wish you would make use of the wisdom of others. But you have already decided your course of action. Please note, that when you are hurting in the future from your choices, we will be here, with open arms ready to help anyway we can.

 

Good Luck to you on your journey. I wish you well.

 

I could not have said it better. Good post FA.

[franie]

Hi LosingM and your name fits because you ARE in fact losing yourself here honey. I will not try and appeal to you because I know how it feels to love someone so desperately and want to believe every word he says to be true. BUT, the fact is honey, he has proven himself as a liar in more ways than one. first, as for as painful as my words may be they are true and i'd be willing to bet my last penny on it: mm is NOT and WILL NOT leave his W and the fact is he DOES love his W and it is more than pity. he tells you these things to bait you and to keep you around pining away for him. I don't know your m sitch but I will warn you that IF you are basing the fate of your m on whether or not mm leaves his W, you will be VERY sorry. please rethink that.

 

among many red flags i see here the one that stood out the most is his defensiveness and attempt to protect his w from your H telling her about the A and i highly doubt she KNOWS about the dynamics of your involvement and she is ok with it. thats complete BULL! honey save yourself from some severe pain and I can guarantee if your keep on this path you WILL get hurt. if nothing else, step back and gain some perspective and see mm for just that A MARRIED MAN and he CHOSES to stay that way! I sure wish someone could have snapped me out of this when i was knee deep in xmm bull!

 

best wishes to you honey