soleharmony1123 Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 I broke NC on Wednesday to send my ex a text message stating that I can't be his friend (about the 3rd time telling him this). Then he calls yesterday. I picked up the phone prepared to give a short repeat statement and get off the phone. Instead, he asked why he can't call me and would it be better if he stopped calling so frequently but just called once in awhile. Finally, I told him I do not want him to contact me AT ALL and that he was being selfish in not respecting my request for my space. I asked why he insists on calling me with nothing to say. He asked why was I being hostile toward him? I told him I wasn't being hostile but he just isn't getting it, that he's not being fair to me, that I'm moving on with my life and he wants to keep me stuck. He said he just needs me (What?) and just wanted to talk to me. I told him he needed to avail himself of his "other resources" (by that I meant the other woman if there is one), a family member or friend because I would no longer be his crutch. (it felt good getting that off my chest). There was silence on his end. Despite the small "victory," I was so angry that I "lost it" and sent him a text after the conversation which read "a true friend would never do what you did to me and my kids, and if I seem hostile to you - too bad." I really feel bad about the text, like it was childish and a weak powerplay. But I have NEVER felt such rage/hatred toward him in all my life. It's ironic that he had a job interview today. I had an interview last Friday for which I had a 2nd interview today (he doesn't know) and was offered the position on the spot! Now with school and a part-time job (which will eventually go full-time) I will have little time to sit & sulk about a lost love (or is that wishful thinking?) -Soleharmony
D-Lish Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 You've said it for the third time- so say it and mean it this time. You'll get your power back the first time you get a call or text that you don't respond to.
Author soleharmony1123 Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 You've said it for the third time- so say it and mean it this time. You'll get your power back the first time you get a call or text that you don't respond to. Sometimes it's so easy to ignore his calls; other times it's the most difficult thing in the world - that's when I cave in.
lsb Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 hey congrats to you. this is no small victory. i wish i could say that to my ex. but i have just kept quiet and not talked to him any time he contacts me.
Carolyn Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I'm in the same boat and my situation has been going on for a year!! I too have said I couldn't do friends anymore, hurts too much, blah blah and he wasn't happy the last time I ended it. Think it lasted 3 months, but during that time apart, he went to extreme lengths to keep me in his life. Even faking a profile on a site I frequent, so he could still chat to me, lol Thing is, I reckon they keep coming back and because they know we are too nice and that we will let them back into our lives again. We have to say NO and keep on meaning NO. Only then will they realise, what they are losing/have lost.
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