jack5100nv Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I am going Whitewater rafting next weekend with my coworkers. Booked it 2 months ago before I started dating this girl. I have been on 6 dates with her. I am thinking about asking her if she wants to go. The trip costs $100. 1. Should I ask her to go? 2. If yes, who pays? Does she pay for herself or do I have to pay?
D-Lish Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 If you're asking her to come, I think you should offer to pay if you can afford it. Have you been paying for all the dates so far, or has it been reciprocal?
St. Nick Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 You don't have to pay nothing. Don't ask her to go. I wouldn't. Keep your work and your chick separate.
marsle85 Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Yeah, I don't think you should take her there. If you do, you should pay- because you invited her. You can do something fun like this with her, just not with coworkers. Keep work/romance seperate.
Author jack5100nv Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 If you're asking her to come, I think you should offer to pay if you can afford it. Have you been paying for all the dates so far, or has it been reciprocal? It has been reciprocal. I paid for three dates and she paid for 3 dates but they were all $25 or less dates.
D-Lish Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 It has been reciprocal. I paid for three dates and she paid for 3 dates but they were all $25 or less dates. Well, I'd say that's a good sign that she's willing to reciprocate. If you are inviting her, you should at least be prepared to pay, so if that is a little much for you, I wouldn't ask. Whether or not you want to involve her in a work activity is your call. I haven't had a problem introducing someone I am dating to my co-workers, but some people like to keep that separate. If you really like this girl and you see a future together, and you can afford it, ask her to come, but offer to pay.
CarrieT Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 If you are really interested in her joining you, I would voice it this way; "Hey, I'm going on this whitewater rafting trip which is only about $100 -- would you have any interest in joining me?" That way, by stating the price, you are setting up that she is paying for her way. Unless, of course, you want to escalate the relationship and pay for her.
Johnny M Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 If you're asking her to come, I think you should offer to pay if you can afford it. Oh really? A woman I dated briefly invited me to go to Costa Rica with her. Had I accepted, I take it I should have expected the trip to be on her??
xpaperxcutx Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 If you are really interested in her joining you, I would voice it this way; "Hey, I'm going on this whitewater rafting trip which is only about $100 -- would you have any interest in joining me?" That way, by stating the price, you are setting up that she is paying for her way. Unless, of course, you want to escalate the relationship and pay for her. I doubt that's a good way to get around it. OP, if you invite her, you have to pay. Unless she deliberately invited herself. So how much do you want her to join you? I see it as the equivalent of paying her the trip in return for her company. If money doesn't matter all that much to you then by all means ask her.
D-Lish Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Oh really? A woman I dated briefly invited me to go to Costa Rica with her. Had I accepted, I take it I should have expected the trip to be on her?? Spending $1600 on a trip to Costa Rica is a little different than going on a $100 white water rafting weekend. She asked you to go on vacation with her- he is asking her to come out with his co-workers. If I asked a guy to come out with my co-workers for an event and I really wanted him to come, I'd pick up his ticket.
Johnny M Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Spending $1600 on a trip to Costa Rica is a little different than going on a $100 white water rafting weekend. She asked you to go on vacation with her- he is asking her to come out with his co-workers. If I asked a guy to come out with my co-workers for an event and I really wanted him to come, I'd pick up his ticket. So where do you draw the line? Can you give me a dollar figure? $300? $500? $750? And do you take the person's income into account? What if the OP is poor and $100 is not chump change for him? The whole "whoever invites, pays" rule is reasonable in the context of business lunches, but it doesn't really work for dating. It is almost always men who ask women out in the early stages of the dating process. So saying "whoever invites, pays" is equivalent to saying "men always pay".
threebyfate Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Your choice.Your choice.I'm not certain why you're even asking these questions on LS. If you begrudge this money or can't afford it, why are you even going yourself? Whitewater rafting is pretty frivolous, if you can't afford it.
D-Lish Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 So where do you draw the line? Can you give me a dollar figure? $300? $500? $750? And do you take the person's income into account? What if the OP is poor and $100 is not chump change for him? The whole "whoever invites, pays" rule is reasonable in the context of business lunches, but it doesn't really work for dating. It is almost always men who ask women out in the early stages of the dating process. So saying "whoever invites, pays" is equivalent to saying "men always pay". As usual, you've turned this into a ridiculour gender war. He's already said he's had a give and take dating arrangement with this girl so far, and that they have split their dates equally. Clearly, she isn't about making this guy pay for everything- so an offer to pick up her fee would be a nice gesture if he can afford it. If he can't, he can't- then he should let the invite slide, or ask her if she wants to come, but state that the cost is 100$.
terra Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 If someone asked me on a trip I thought it would be implied that I pay for myself.. it's not? I would then ask as Carrie suggested... it's only $100, interested in coming?
Johnny M Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 If someone asked me on a trip I thought it would be implied that I pay for myself.. it's not? I would then ask as Carrie suggested... it's only $100, interested in coming? That's what I would think as well. If a girl invited me to go white water rafting, I would never assume that it's on her dime...The concept of paying somebody for their company (unless she a professional "company keeper", if you know what I mean...) is totally alien to me, but apparently it's not for some of the other posters in this thread.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 That's what I would think as well. If a girl invited me to go white water rafting, I would never assume that it's on her dime...The concept of paying somebody for their company (unless she a professional "company keeper", if you know what I mean...) is totally alien to me, but apparently it's not for some of the other posters in this thread. Well no, because different circumstances elicit different actions. Like a month back, I got invited by a friend to go to Hawaii and of course then and there I knew I had to pay for the round trip and hotel expenses. Here we have the guy deliberately wanting to ask out the girl he's " dating". Furthermore, she'll be meeting the co-workers. So in essence, is it a company date?
phineas Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Is the OP sure Stew won't be showing her his "O" face if he brings her around? She'll be spending the weekend with guys that arn't his real friends & will hit on his girl.
Johnny M Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Well no, because different circumstances elicit different rationalizations. I think this is what you really meant say.
troggleputty Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 I am going Whitewater rafting next weekend with my coworkers. Booked it 2 months ago before I started dating this girl. I have been on 6 dates with her. I am thinking about asking her if she wants to go. The trip costs $100. 1. Should I ask her to go? 2. If yes, who pays? Does she pay for herself or do I have to pay? Is this going to be like that whitewater rafting trip in "Deliverance"? You wouldn't be that kid who plays the banjo, would you? ....by the way can she squeal like a piggy?
skydiveaddict Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I am going Whitewater rafting next weekend with my coworkers. Booked it 2 months ago before I started dating this girl. I have been on 6 dates with her. I am thinking about asking her if she wants to go. The trip costs $100. 1. Should I ask her to go? 2. If yes, who pays? Does she pay for herself or do I have to pay? You should ask her to go if you want to. Yes you should pay for it if she accepts
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