bluz73 Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Okay I am in the best mood I have been in this week and its been 5 months since the heartbreak began. I went from not eating for days, lying in bed non functional, never leaving the house, not cleaning, or working out to finally coming around to my old self. I actually went shopping today which the past five months I could care less about buying anything for myself. So now I can eat, I look at his picture and I feel nothing but a genuine thank you for being part of my life regardless of the outcome. I see pics of his new GF, she seems happy and drunk he seems awkwardly out of place at these college parties (shes 18 he is 31) He dont seem that happy, then again I could be wrong but I accept it if he is happy. Although he cowrdly cut me out of his life, I could careless if I ever spoke to him again. So My question is Am I over him or am I in denial? What are the normal signs your over the ex?? FYI This is my biggest heartbreak of mylife besides highschool sweetheart
zebracolors Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I would sort of like to know this too actually. Does the time it takes to reach this stage about an ex differ for everyone? What if it has not been nearly that long, but one sort of starts to notice other people that well appeal to them, or how do you know if its still too soon to jump back into dating?
threebyfate Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Imagine your ex with this girl, having hot, sweaty sex. Include all the details including sound effects, potentially with the two whispering "ILY"s in post-coital intimacy. If you can handle this without a twitch of negative emotions, you're very much over your ex. p.s. This is what I use for myself and aren't trying to be cruel. It's a helluva' litmus test but works like a hot damn. 1
Silver_star Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Only when you dont pose the question anymore..am i over it? Are you over it...when its been an undefined amount of time and it suddenly crosses ur mind like a random word from a crossword puzzle that Oh yeah!!!...i used to date so and so..hmm i wonder whatever happened to them? But on the other hand, i dont really care so much that id call or find out" Life has to take over and become more important than him being an issue..hes no longer important or weighing on your mind at all. Then you know FOR sure that your over it.
hopesndreams Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Imagine your ex with this girl, having hot, sweaty sex. Include all the details including sound effects, potentially with the two whispering "ILY"s in post-coital intimacy. If you can handle this without a twitch of negative emotions, you're very much over your ex. p.s. This is what I use for myself and aren't trying to be cruel. It's a helluva' litmus test but works like a hot damn. Very well put. I'm not over mine yet.
just1guy Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Imagine your ex with this girl, having hot, sweaty sex. Include all the details including sound effects, potentially with the two whispering "ILY"s in post-coital intimacy. If you can handle this without a twitch of negative emotions, you're very much over your ex. p.s. This is what I use for myself and aren't trying to be cruel. It's a helluva' litmus test but works like a hot damn. Damn...I failed the test.
jazzpur Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 then think about how disappointed she is considering you were that much better in bed
Author bluz73 Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 then think about how disappointed she is considering you were that much better in bed I remember when I was 18 had maybe 5 sexual partners by then and I didnt feel I was good at sex now 21 years after losing my virginity I felt like a porn star. I could make this guy get off by him performing oral sex on me with all my moans and dirty talking..Now not to say she doesnt do that but Im surely thinking an 18 year old isnt that familar with the sexual pleasures of an older guy, but im sure he loves teaching her. Oh and for some reason I CANT Imagine him and her together at all...its like him screwing a 12 year old and it dont look or feel right..but I had one hell of a shopping day and feel great knowing how much better looking and successful I am in many aspects of my life ! So haters dont take away my way of coping thanks in advance!
sadfool Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Well, I don't know whether or not you are completley over him if you're still checking out pics of him and trying to figure out his emotion via pictures ... however, I can tell you that if he's 31 and she's 18 then it's only a matter of time before she dumps him on his ass. When you're 18 you're flattered by an older man's attention ... guaranteed this is not gonna last. And he's not happy in the pic because he sees all the hotties that want her and are asking her what the heck she's doing with an old dude.
Author bluz73 Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 Well, I don't know whether or not you are completley over him if you're still checking out pics of him and trying to figure out his emotion via pictures ... however, I can tell you that if he's 31 and she's 18 then it's only a matter of time before she dumps him on his ass. When you're 18 you're flattered by an older man's attention ... guaranteed this is not gonna last. And he's not happy in the pic because he sees all the hotties that want her and are asking her what the heck she's doing with an old dude. You just totally made my day even better. I known him for 7 years and I know the look on his face when he seems unpleased in a situation. In the pics it was a bunch of 21 and under college kids drinking beers totally wasted including her. Now when we were together he was a very responsible guy not to driink and drive so I am assuming he was sober and annoyed by her drunkin behavior. I could be wrong but when you know someone you can read them even through a picture. Maybe Im not over him, I couldnt be with him again, well im so weak and attracted to him it would be so hard to say no, but he disgusts me to walk away from a stable life with me to this. I hope your right they dont last and I think she is hanging on so long cause she knows the first 5 months a fought for him and did all the hysterical behavior trying to get him back. but have been NC for over a month. look at their expressions in this link... not that it matters but I dont see the attraction or the happiness do you?
spriggig Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 YOU are asking whether YOU are in denial. Yeah, you're in denial. Also sounds like you're pretty damn close to over him anyway. I agree with the above post that says he'll be dumped very soon and then LOOK OUT, just when you think you are out--they pull you back in! Prepare yourself to turn this guy down in a few weeks or months. He'll be back sniffing around your back door and you need to be ready to show him the curb. Unless you think you want him back, then you just take him out and tie him to the tree.
USMCHokie Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 What are the normal signs your over the ex?? When you stop looking for signs that you're over your ex. i.e., you don't care.
Carolyn Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 When you wake up in the morning and they arent the first thing on your mind anymore.
Author bluz73 Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 Its been 5 months since he broke my heart and I thought Id never get through and what has helped me was allowing myself to grieve the death of a man I once knew. I belive now he is gone and he will always be a great memory of good times but the man he once was is gone and the man who lied to me and cheated on me with a teenager is alive and he no longer has a hold on my heart! It took me seeing pictures of them and good close ups of her to realize Wow he has to miss me and must be seriously insecure and inferior of me and my qualities that he settled for a teenager. Looking at them him seeming aggravated by his teenlovers drunkin behavior smiling all budweisered up to finally accept it definaltely wasnt my looks or personality that he left me for her for it was her irresponsible behavior and freedom and that he wasnt ready to grow up and grow old with me he wanted someone to make him feel young and frat boyish...So I am no longer looking at their FB or myspace 50 times a day and focusing on me. I went shopping got my pedicure, went to the beach..Im starting to like myself again and I no longer pine for him or wish he would call me. Im gonna let this so called relationship of theres run its course and watch it play out into her getting preggo and being stuck or her wising up and leaving him in the dust..if and when he does contact me I will have moved on and no longer care why he lost his mind and gave me up. So for all you hurting hearts TIME/and one small wakeup call can change your hurt forever. It did for me
LovelyDaze Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 Its been 5 months since he broke my heart and I thought Id never get through and what has helped me was allowing myself to grieve the death of a man I once knew. I belive now he is gone and he will always be a great memory of good times but the man he once was is gone and the man who lied to me and cheated on me with a teenager is alive and he no longer has a hold on my heart! It took me seeing pictures of them and good close ups of her to realize Wow he has to miss me and must be seriously insecure and inferior of me and my qualities that he settled for a teenager. Looking at them him seeming aggravated by his teenlovers drunkin behavior smiling all budweisered up to finally accept it definaltely wasnt my looks or personality that he left me for her for it was her irresponsible behavior and freedom and that he wasnt ready to grow up and grow old with me he wanted someone to make him feel young and frat boyish...So I am no longer looking at their FB or myspace 50 times a day and focusing on me. I went shopping got my pedicure, went to the beach..Im starting to like myself again and I no longer pine for him or wish he would call me. Im gonna let this so called relationship of theres run its course and watch it play out into her getting preggo and being stuck or her wising up and leaving him in the dust..if and when he does contact me I will have moved on and no longer care why he lost his mind and gave me up. So for all you hurting hearts TIME/and one small wakeup call can change your hurt forever. It did for me SO PROUD, BLUZ! Keep moving forward. Don't look back by looking at FB to check on them. Let them lose themselves into this messy relationship. A teen with a 30 year old slacker who lives at home....yep, sounds like bliss:rolleyes:. People are right. Either the teen will inevitably start to mature(good or bad0 and want to scratch the itch of seeing what else is out there OR ...HE will leave her after the novelty wears thin. It's just a recipe for disaster to be honest. But they will move on with other damaged goods until THEY want to change and be a better person. Remember..healthy attracts healthy. So take this breakup as a blessed lesson in who NOT to date and you will attract better and better guys along the way.
Author bluz73 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 SO PROUD, BLUZ! Keep moving forward. Don't look back by looking at FB to check on them. Let them lose themselves into this messy relationship. A teen with a 30 year old slacker who lives at home....yep, sounds like bliss:rolleyes:. People are right. Either the teen will inevitably start to mature(good or bad0 and want to scratch the itch of seeing what else is out there OR ...HE will leave her after the novelty wears thin. It's just a recipe for disaster to be honest. But they will move on with other damaged goods until THEY want to change and be a better person. Remember..healthy attracts healthy. So take this breakup as a blessed lesson in who NOT to date and you will attract better and better guys along the way. You always seem to say the right things to everyone on here to make us feel beter high five to you girl! Anyway I didnt think them 2 would last this long, maybe they r inlove haha but i see it as a teen needing a car for work and a place to live w/o her parents rules. So Im sure that is another reason they r still hanging on but for him I dont get how he can stand annoying teenagers for friends or a GF..but My focus has been on me. I feel like a million bucks..I actaully care about things I didnt for a long time including my looks/clothes..even feeding the birds and walking my dogs and making my famous Sunday bruch:) Its amazing that i went to the park him and I used to go to and I looked at the bench we first sat and madeout 7 years ago and it didnt phase me one bit! I hope I stay on this path and dont get knocked off. As for him ever contacting me..well he dont have my num or address or any of my emails I changed them or me his So I gguess its over forever..I was hoping years to come we could say hi and catch up but he erased me.I dont know how he would find me.
4LOVE Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 When you can look at them and feel at peace. Thats when youre over them.
SlowHealer Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 bluz, It sounds as though you are doing quite well and it was good of you to share your progress. I promise there are many things about you he misses and he's playing with fire......often causing burns. Threebyfate, You are funny as hell!
Author bluz73 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 bluz, It sounds as though you are doing quite well and it was good of you to share your progress. I promise there are many things about you he misses and he's playing with fire......often causing burns. Threebyfate, You are funny as hell! Thank you so much for your kindness as I get thru this...I hope he misses me I do miss the old him but not who is now..He is playing with fire which is why it took me so long to comprehend the whole thing. Most men would rather spend their lives with someone in my shoes and not an 18 yr old who hasnt walked a mile in hers yet and if he thinks they got some happily ever after he must be delusional. The divorce rate is too high, but ya know what? it all happened for a reason and Im okay with being just me free and single and enjoying life with me not needing a man to hold me up Take Care yourself!
xtreme Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 When you can look at them and feel at peace. Thats when youre over them. Pretty much what 4LOVE said, btw could I ask you something regarding a similar problem, it seems like my ex did something like you but to me. Thanks
shadowplay Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Imagine your ex with this girl, having hot, sweaty sex. Include all the details including sound effects, potentially with the two whispering "ILY"s in post-coital intimacy. If you can handle this without a twitch of negative emotions, you're very much over your ex. p.s. This is what I use for myself and aren't trying to be cruel. It's a helluva' litmus test but works like a hot damn. Ha. I fail as well.
SlowHealer Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 bluz, You're right, most men(as in MAN) would rather spend time with someone like you. Be sure next time you have one of those........a MAN that is. It doesn't sound like someone else is your highest priority right now and that's a good thing. That shows some real maturity on your behalf. Most people don't give themselves enough time to heal between partners. Glad ur being smart. You will be the winner in the end.
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