Do most ment in their 30s and 40s

[dressing up]

38 here.

The thought of going after someone in their younger 20's just makes me feel like a creep.

 

I've got two kids, limited free time & limited resources.

I go to bed early & wake up early.

 

I prefer the BBQ at my house with friends than going out to a bar.

 

The lifestyle of someone that young would just not mesh with mine.

 

Plus, I remember women from when I was that age.

They were a huge PITA!!.

 

It doesn't look like that's changed.

 

 

 

I wish more men like you would fall for me. I like men like you!

[Jersey Shortie]

I would find something deeply psychologically wrong with any man over 25 dating a 18 year old vulnerable girl out of high school. Life experience is vastly different and there is something predatory in that type of relationship.

 

I had older men hit on me at that age and I was baffled why they thought they were good enough for me. Also sceeved out. At that age, there were older men I looked up to for guidance and mentorship. If they had taken advantage of me because I was young, that would have deeply affected me negativly. And why shouldn't it have?

 

In fact, I think it would go along way for many young women to have older men that they aren't related to treat them with guidence and mentorship instead of older men praying on them. I think we would learn alot from/about men in there were more of these kind of relationships and older men didn't see younger women as oppurtunity towards strictly his personal pleasure.

 

Alot of guys here mentioned women being bitter as they get older. There is a reason for the bitterness and it's not because there are alot of good men out there treating women well. How do we maintain a non-bitter attitude when so many of you are ready to disparage us based on our age? Sure, it would be great to find the love of your life when you are 22. And have him stand by your side even as you age. But that's not the reality of life. What expectation do you hold for women considering that?

 

Seems like a few men hold the expectation that women should maintain high opinions of them while these same men hold no expetations that they should have to do anything to warrent the high opinion. What is being said here is basically: "Women should adore men. But the only women worth while are 18-25. But don't be bitter. Men are just better. You need to love us and get married at 18 so that a man doesn't have to kick you to the curb. Aren't we men wonderful?". Do you guys not see the conflicting message? We should just adore men for the fact that they are men, all the while many of you continually tell us how worthless you consider us as we get older. Oh and we aren't allowed to look at how much money you make as a determining factor in picking you because that makes us shallow golddiggers but you picking women based on age makes you a wonderfula man worthy of respect. That doesn't make alot of logical sense to me.

 

Now when I got into my early 20s, I did go out with older men. And many of them were trying to get me to settle down with them. But to be honest, I just wanted to date, have fun, be taken out to really nice places. Which they provided. We had a good time. Sure, they were disappointed to learn that while they were ready to "settle down" in their older years, that I wasn't as quick to with them. Sure, they assumed that they were in their prime and I was the perfect aged girl for them to settle down with and have a family. But they weren't in their prime to me and they were not the age man I saw myself settling down with. And I do not regret my choices in not settling down with them. I am relieved I didn't fall to that preasure. I could have easily been taken care of for the rest of my life with these older more established men but I realized there is so much more to life then that.

 

Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, age 73, is currently having an affair with his 18 year old girlfriend. What people fail to realize is that there is a lot, a lot of men, from 13 year olds to 100 year olds, all competing for the same beautiful women 18 to 25.

 

She isn't with him because he is 73. She is with him because he is rich. There is no man on LS that will be 73 with an 18 year old girl. There is no woman in her right mind that really wants to be with a 73 year old. Ever. Unless you have some messed up fetish for old people.

 

Women surely must know their declining value over the years... Yet some still refuse to settle... Tsk, tsk... See "Marry Him" book on Amazon.

 

Awww, and we come to the secret motivation.They want to put the fear into women so that women don't have the confidence to understand that they can ask for more from men.

 

And agewise, we all decline in value. Men start loosing good sperm when they hit 30. Men at that age are not better looking. This is an ego driven by popular media for decades and decades due to a patriarchal society. But if there is one thing I've observed over the years from men themselves, through their fears and worries, men fear aging and know they aren't getting better looking for it. From comments about not being able to eat like they use to, to wrinkles, balding heads, ED, all those age related issues that any medical book will show you men suffer from.

 

 

paperchase

Also, I want any woman I am with to be arm candy in the sense that others find her attractive. I guess I'm shallow that way.

 

It's actually more insecurity on your part. Sure it's shallow but the reason you want arm candy is because you worry about what others think and you think a certian type of women will up your own personal value. Ironically, it's that insecure mentality that turn women off.

[Jersey Shortie]

By the way, I love how some of the guys on this thread are the same guys that talk about "gold-diggers" regularly. So basically, these same guys are allowed to be shallow about a girls age but how dare her be shallow about his money. If she is younger and dating an older guy, she certainly isn't being shallow about his age.

[BentSpine]

Women, by virtue of being approached more often, are more exposed to exceptions to their generalisations considering age.

 

So how are men supposed to become open to a wider target age when we don't meet exceptions to our rule?

 

In general, we date those around us. With time we meet individuals we connect with and get used to and start appreciating their beauty, regardless of their age or skin colour. (But we don't get used to fat.)

Edited March 27, 2010 by BentSpine
Lipid clarification

[Maxxx]

If you are 40 and would only date your age or older, you are either extremely insecure or there is something seriously wrong with you. It's normal for men to date younger women for two reasons:

 

1) Men age slower. A man in his 30s or even early 40s who takes good care of himself can be almost as attractive as he was in his 20s. The same does not go for women (especially if they went through childbirth).

 

2) Women car about their partner's social status much more then men do. To many young women, an older is more attractive than someone their age for that reason alone. Plus, women in their 20s often consider their guys their age "immature".

 

So if you are 40, still look good and have a nice job, by all means, go after the younger babes. Nothing creepy about that at all (to be clear, I'm talking about single men here; I'm not advocating that men dump their middle aged wives to replace them with someone younger). In fact, I'm still shaking my head trying to figure out why any man would want an aging divorcee with kids - unless that's all that he could get (which may be the case with you, I don't know).

 

Ouch I am glad from one post I made in a thread that you are a Doctor and can tell me "something is seriously wrong with you." Because I won't date younger women...... (you must have worked hard for that PHd.) That said I didn't say there was anything creepy about it as a matter of fact I have dated younger then me and find it fun but after a while when the newness of it all is gone. I find that we are / were not compatible at all. My current gf whom I am engaged to and a July wedding is planned is 2 years older then me. Everyone is different in what they like and for you to say "something is seriously wrong with me" Is a bitover the top I never have gone with the "norm" when it comes to most things.

[OndaChin]

Most Men?

 

Im 38 and as a man... I'm an "Equal Opportunity Employer"!

 

I dont do "girls" (under 25) and honestly find women in the 40's range to be VERY SEXY!

 

I'd choose an older woman to a younger one simply because the experience level is too "attractive" for me to ignore. Seems the so called "Hot" younger girls just dont do it for me like a real- NUT BUSTING WOMAN in her 40's can!!

 

And its not all about the sex.. either! (Howling like a wolf)

[threebyfate]

Net result of this thread, like draws like. The youth chasers will continue chasing younguns, others have a wide-open sky's policy and other's solely date women close to, equal to and/or older.

 

That's why attraction is so subjective. For guys like JohnnyM and MadDriver to make blanket statements that "all men" do this or that, can probably be sourced from their own youth or at minimum, inexperience.

[Maxxx]

Most Men?

 

Im 38 and as a man... I'm an "Equal Opportunity Employer"!

 

I dont do "girls" (under 25) and honestly find women in the 40's range to be VERY SEXY!

 

I'd choose an older woman to a younger one simply because the experience level is too "attractive" for me to ignore. Seems the so called "Hot" younger girls just dont do it for me like a real- NUT BUSTING WOMAN in her 40's can!!

 

And its not all about the sex.. either! (Howling like a wolf)

 

Pretty much how I feel

[SincereOnlineGuy]

want to be with women in their 20s?

 

It seems like a lot of my women friends in my age group, including me (I'm 39) are being left for much younger women. What gives?

 

I think your data sample is probably relatively small.

 

 

Consider that, when what we'll call a LONG-term relationship between two 40yo's breaks up... and pretend that the two of them are doing reasonably well career-wise, (meaning they could afford their house payments, their car payments, and COULD afford to split-up and go their separate ways)...

 

THE MALE there is quite likely to have traits that young women are drawn to, particularly when contrasted to most of their male peers.

 

The newly single male would be potentially "successful" (in relative terms, at the very least)... he'd be "experienced" (in terms relative to those 20-something males)... and "mature"... and these are things to which young women are often drawn in the present after spending many years envisioning themselves with males who sport those qualities.

 

In the same way it is usually pretty easy for a young adult woman to cash-in on her femininity for just about whatever it can get her, IF a male ever has anything (other than raw 'cash') that he can cash-in on, it is those traits, at that time of his life, and with young women being the ones most interested.

 

In summary, it is most easy for that man, newly single, to run right to the social bank account to measure his social worth that way (meaning w/younger women).

 

His alternative is to dare to boldly step out there and likely have to envision being compared to his male peers by the not-so-plentiful *good* and available female catches his own age.

 

So basically he just went to the social bank to figure out what his 'balance' was... (and perhaps so did the young woman, more relating to his balance in the other bank)

[Johnny M]

Ouch I am glad from one post I made in a thread that you are a Doctor and can tell me "something is seriously wrong with you." Because I won't date younger women...... (you must have worked hard for that PHd.) That said I didn't say there was anything creepy about it as a matter of fact I have dated younger then me and find it fun but after a while when the newness of it all is gone. I find that we are / were not compatible at all. My current gf whom I am engaged to and a July wedding is planned is 2 years older then me. Everyone is different in what they like and for you to say "something is seriously wrong with me" Is a bitover the top I never have gone with the "norm" when it comes to most things.

A bit sensitive, aren't we? Okay, perhaps "something seriously wrong with you" was not the best choice of words, but I just find it odd that a man your age would only want to date older chicks. Nothing wrong with that though - more young hotties for the rest of us.

[Anela]

In fact, I'm still shaking my head trying to figure out why any man would want an aging divorcee with kids - unless that's all that he could get (which may be the case with you, I don't know).

 

I'm shaking my head, and trying to figure out why any young woman would want the same. Ugh.

[Anela]

A turn off?

 

Ill admit its unnerving when they see your bs, but its not really a turn off

 

Women in their 30's and 40's seem sexier to me. They dont become disgusting until menopause

 

I was with you, until you mentioned the part in bold...

[Anela]

 

Alot of guys here mentioned women being bitter as they get older. There is a reason for the bitterness and it's not because there are alot of good men out there treating women well. How do we maintain a non-bitter attitude when so many of you are ready to disparage us based on our age? Sure, it would be great to find the love of your life when you are 22. And have him stand by your side even as you age. But that's not the reality of life. What expectation do you hold for women considering that?

 

Seems like a few men hold the expectation that women should maintain high opinions of them while these same men hold no expetations that they should have to do anything to warrent the high opinion. What is being said here is basically: "Women should adore men. But the only women worth while are 18-25. But don't be bitter. Men are just better. You need to love us and get married at 18 so that a man doesn't have to kick you to the curb. Aren't we men wonderful?". Do you guys not see the conflicting message? We should just adore men for the fact that they are men, all the while many of you continually tell us how worthless you consider us as we get older. Oh and we aren't allowed to look at how much money you make as a determining factor in picking you because that makes us shallow golddiggers but you picking women based on age makes you a wonderfula man worthy of respect. That doesn't make alot of logical sense to me.

 

This is what comes to mind whenever I hear about how bitter older women are (I'm 34, by the way). I doubt that we're "biologically wired" to grow bitter as we get older.

 

She isn't with him because he is 73. She is with him because he is rich. There is no man on LS that will be 73 with an 18 year old girl. There is no woman in her right mind that really wants to be with a 73 year old. Ever. Unless you have some messed up fetish for old people.

 

 

Awww, and we come to the secret motivation.They want to put the fear into women so that women don't have the confidence to understand that they can ask for more from men.

 

And agewise, we all decline in value. Men start loosing good sperm when they hit 30. Men at that age are not better looking. This is an ego driven by popular media for decades and decades due to a patriarchal society. But if there is one thing I've observed over the years from men themselves, through their fears and worries, men fear aging and know they aren't getting better looking for it. From comments about not being able to eat like they use to, to wrinkles, balding heads, ED, all those age related issues that any medical book will show you men suffer from.

 

 

I can't find a thumbs-up smiley to add here, so I've out it in the subject line of my post...

[Lizzie60]

It's kind of strange though that, in MY experience, since I'm single almost 8 years ago... I have dated ALL, but one, men much younger than me.. and, except for one, I never went after them... they came after me..

 

So.. this is soooo untrue to think that men mostly go for young chicks.. in fact.. the ones I know, most prefer older women... like 35+...

 

A friend of mine visited me this week... and we were talking about 'dating sites' etc.. I asked him if he had find someone.. and he said that there were too many young women on these sites.. and he rarely goes anymore...

 

He said that the fact that he has a daughter who is almost 20 now.. makes him feel very uncomfortable with younger chicks..

 

I've heard that on many occasions...

[alexlakeman]

The younger, typically, the less mileage they have, less cellulite, less wrinkles , neck doesn't look old, etc..

 

That said, the last 4-5 , maybe more women I've dated have been my age, or within + / - 2 yrs... I'm in the low 40's... Being that you are about to roll over to the "40's", i imagine is a problem... B/C me for example, I don't want to date any woman in th 47-49 range, b/c soon enough she will be "50" ... omg, that sounds old... so in your case "40" sounds old... NOT for me though ..

 

my .02 cents

[zicke]

A turn off?

 

Ill admit its unnerving when they see your bs, but its not really a turn off

 

Women in their 30's and 40's seem sexier to me. They dont become disgusting until menopause

 

 

Disgusting? Do you tell your mom that you think she's disgusting?

 

All the men who won't date someone their own age range are more than welcome to the younger women. Men who only date much younger know that older women won't put up with their bull**** and bad sex. Most younger women haven't learned yet.

 

Trust me boys, you AREN'T missed.

[stillafool]

I had older men hit on me at that age and I was baffled why they thought they were good enough for me. Also sceeved out. At that age, there were older men I looked up to for guidance and mentorship. If they had taken advantage of me because I was young, that would have deeply affected me negativly. And why shouldn't it have?

 

 

 

Isn't this the truth. I was totally disgusted when older men would come on to me. What was worst is that "old guy" who was always at the clubs. He was only in his late 30's but to us girls in our early to mid 20's he was ancient. A lot of girls would use him to buy them drinks or some would use them to pay their rent but none of the girls wanted them for a relationship. Even girls who used the older guys to pay their bills still had a young bf they were in love with who basically didn't have any money and was just starting his career. Men will never understand that the age thing goes both ways.

[You'reasian]

I would find something deeply psychologically wrong with any man over 25 dating a 18 year old vulnerable girl out of high school. Life experience is vastly different and there is something predatory in that type of relationship..

 

Cultural and personal bias on your part. In South America, its common to see men in their 30's and even 40's with women 18-25. Same in Eastern Europe, parts of the Arab world, Central and South Asia etc.

 

Women like younger men too. Look at all the new cases of female teachers in their 30's hooking up with their male high school students.

 

I had older men hit on me at that age and I was baffled why they thought they were good enough for me. Also sceeved out. At that age, there were older men I looked up to for guidance and mentorship. If they had taken advantage of me because I was young, that would have deeply affected me negativly. And why shouldn't it have?

 

In fact, I think it would go along way for many young women to have older men that they aren't related to treat them with guidence and mentorship instead of older men praying on them. I think we would learn alot from/about men in there were more of these kind of relationships and older men didn't see younger women as oppurtunity towards strictly his personal pleasure...

 

Older men should provide some sort of guidance for their younger girlfriends - but they are not required to. Also offering guidance where its not wanted burns rapport. One must ask if they want to receive.

 

Alot of guys here mentioned women being bitter as they get older. There is a reason for the bitterness and it's not because there are alot of good men out there treating women well.

 

This would not be an issue if women chose good and nice guys for their partners, but you can't help what you're attracted to because you want what you want, right...

 

How do we maintain a non-bitter attitude when so many of you are ready to disparage us based on our age? Sure, it would be great to find the love of your life when you are 22. And have him stand by your side even as you age. But that's not the reality of life. What expectation do you hold for women considering that?

 

Don't harbor guilt about your age - but be realistic. If you're 35 and get tired walking out to the mailbox, then you may not be able to compete with your female counterpart whose on the rowing crew and looks 26-27, much less whose 22 and does nothing to keep a hot body. Great thing about fitness, is that its very affordable and even low-cost dinasour methods can produce competitive results.

 

Attitude goes along way. If you're a fun, kind person to be around chances are you'll attract a fun, kind person. They say like attracts like.

 

Do you think a bitter, sarcastic person who assumes the worst in others will attract a good, fun, loving person?

 

Seems like a few men hold the expectation that women should maintain high opinions of them while these same men hold no expetations that they should have to do anything to warrent the high opinion. What is being said here is basically: "Women should adore men. But the only women worth while are 18-25. But don't be bitter. Men are just better. You need to love us and get married at 18 so that a man doesn't have to kick you to the curb. Aren't we men wonderful?". Do you guys not see the conflicting message? We should just adore men for the fact that they are men, all the while many of you continually tell us how worthless you consider us as we get older. Oh and we aren't allowed to look at how much money you make as a determining factor in picking you because that makes us shallow golddiggers but you picking women based on age makes you a wonderfula man worthy of respect. That doesn't make alot of logical sense to me.

 

You're too focused on guys that you shouldn't be focused on and that causes you alot of emotional strain and whining. Go for a guy that's going to love you for exactly who you are.

 

Now when I got into my early 20s, I did go out with older men. And many of them were trying to get me to settle down with them. But to be honest, I just wanted to date, have fun, be taken out to really nice places. Which they provided. We had a good time. Sure, they were disappointed to learn that while they were ready to "settle down" in their older years, that I wasn't as quick to with them. Sure, they assumed that they were in their prime and I was the perfect aged girl for them to settle down with and have a family. But they weren't in their prime to me and they were not the age man I saw myself settling down with. And I do not regret my choices in not settling down with them. I am relieved I didn't fall to that preasure. I could have easily been taken care of for the rest of my life with these older more established men but I realized there is so much more to life then that.

 

Despite your own appreciation of older men when you were young, you now hate men your own age for dating younger. Why the contradictory attitude? Is it because it doesn't give you the advantage?

 

 

And agewise, we all decline in value. Men start loosing good sperm when they hit 30. Men at that age are not better looking. This is an ego driven by popular media for decades and decades due to a patriarchal society. But if there is one thing I've observed over the years from men themselves, through their fears and worries, men fear aging and know they aren't getting better looking for it. From comments about not being able to eat like they use to, to wrinkles, balding heads, ED, all those age related issues that any medical book will show you men suffer from..

 

Men in their 40's have children with younger wives. Women in their 40's not so much. Its just biology.

Edited March 28, 2010 by You'reasian

[Johnny M]

Men in their 40's have children with younger wives. Women in their 40's not so much. Its just biology.

Some people like to pretend that biology does not apply to them.

[alexlakeman]

Disgusting? Do you tell your mom that you think she's disgusting?

 

All the men who won't date someone their own age range are more than welcome to the younger women. Men who only date much younger know that older women won't put up with their bull**** and bad sex. Most younger women haven't learned yet.

 

Trust me boys, you AREN'T missed.

 

Can you quote a credible source or case study on this? You sound like a bitter old lady...

 

Isn't this the truth. I was totally disgusted when older men would come on to me. What was worst is that "old guy" who was always at the clubs. He was only in his late 30's but to us girls in our early to mid 20's he was ancient. A lot of girls would use him to buy them drinks or some would use them to pay their rent but none of the girls wanted them for a relationship. Even girls who used the older guys to pay their bills still had a young bf they were in love with who basically didn't have any money and was just starting his career. Men will never understand that the age thing goes both ways.

 

And what do you think the older guy wanted? A relationship? Of couse not, lol.. just some fresh p.ssy, tight, low mileage, winner's token, something to talk about at happy hour with his guy freinds... lol

 

My freind's daughter is 21, and she got hit by a 40=some year old recently at a local bar... he must have done something right, b/c she gave him her #!!!!! He must have had GAME!!! lol...

 

 

....Women like younger men too. Look at all the new cases of female teachers in their 30's hooking up with their male high school students.

 

.................... Its just biology.

 

EXCELLENT point!!!!! Even women are child molesters...

[stillafool]

 

And what do you think the older guy wanted? A relationship? Of couse not, lol.. just some fresh p.ssy, tight, low mileage, winner's token, something to talk about at happy hour with his guy freinds... lol

 

Of course that is what he wanted. Everyone knew that. But, did he tell his friends how much he had to pay for it.

 

 

My freind's daughter is 21, and she got hit by a 40=some year old recently at a local bar... he must have done something right, b/c she gave him her #!!!!! He must have had GAME!!! lol...

 

Or, her rent money!:lmao:

[sweetjasmine]

I'm shaking my head, and trying to figure out why any young woman would want the same. Ugh.

 

No kidding.

 

Oooh, baby, an aging divorced man with kids! Hawt! I'm only in my 20s, sign me up for an older man with a broken family, a disappearing hairline, and a ton of baggage!

[sweetjasmine]

Easy on the hairline kid

 

I'm just being silly.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I dunno man, I hear young women talking at work about dating older guys (meaning in their 30s or 40s) and most of them say "ewwwwwww!, but if he was well off I'd consider it." Well off meaning they can take her out to dinner a few times a week, pay her way for everything, take her on expensive trips, give her money if she needs it, has a really nice car, etc. Otherwise they are slobbering over the 'Edwards' and 'Jacobs' or 'Kellans' out there - young, hot, cut (or just cute in 'Edward' case) young guys - guys that girls will compete against to have. Rich older guys are great too - but they have to have money. The same older guy they would consider - if he was broke and a loser, they would think 'pervert'.

 

I have a friend who is 24 and a 41 year old asked her out, and she was grossed out by the idea of a man who isn't much younger than her father asking her out. She said.. "what the hell would we talk about?"

 

Now, that isn't ALWAYS the case - just based on what a lot of the college age girls chit chat about at work and when we go out from time to time.

 

Now, my man and I are about the same age. I'm a couple of years younger. He says he prefers me over younger women because we can have a conversation in which we: get the same references, listen to the same music, are equal in the things we like and no longer like to do, there is no 'flaky 20s' drama, and the sex is much, much better. Plus, your values and priorities are usually on target when your ages are closer.

 

I guess if you only care about looks, dating someone younger just because they are younger is a good idea but not many people I know who date really young like that have too much in common with each other. If they do, it is a rare case of a really mature young person or a less rare case of a really immature older person.

[The Paper Knight]

But they also like being with women the consider less savvy, less experience in life, and thus easier to manipulate. Some guys who do this also like to make these young women dependent on them financially.

 

no, no and no, younger people are just less selective as they have fewer requirements and younger girls, just like being with someone, hence are easier to date.