Do most ment in their 30s and 40s

[Ilovecake]

want to be with women in their 20s?

 

It seems like a lot of my women friends in my age group, including me (I'm 39) are being left for much younger women. What gives?

[bayouboi]

Well, I'm not quite old enough to answer your question but on the verge of turning 30, I will give you my response anyhow. My preference would be with a woman who's young enough to provide healthy offspring, but old enough to be settled down.

 

I don't think age exclusively limits those attributes, though surely it contributes somewhat.

[Rearden Metal]

I'm 32, and seek to date 23-29. I want to be active and youthful, and a lot of people (male and female) my age are incredibly inactive.

[threebyfate]

Do most ment in their 30's and 40's, want to be with women in their 20s?

 

It seems like a lot of my women friends in my age group, including me (I'm 39) are being left for much younger women. What gives?

This question creates a cognitive dissonance within me. Within my close social network, I don't see this happening in any way. As well, most of the men I've historically been involved with, haven't been youth chasers.

 

But as an observer, looking outwards, I would say there's a substantial portion of men who do youth chase for any one, or a combination of the following reasons:

1. Fear of aging and death. Do they still "gotz'it"?
   
2. Superficial reasons, including but not restricted to, trophy hunting.
   
3. Younger women are easier to control and have less experience.
   
4. Younger women are less demanding and are less cognizant of red flags.
   

[phineas]

38 here.

The thought of going after someone in their younger 20's just makes me feel like a creep.

 

I've got two kids, limited free time & limited resources.

I go to bed early & wake up early.

 

I prefer the BBQ at my house with friends than going out to a bar.

 

The lifestyle of someone that young would just not mesh with mine.

 

Plus, I remember women from when I was that age.

They were a huge PITA!!.

 

It doesn't look like that's changed.

[northstar1]

want to be with women in their 20s?

 

It seems like a lot of my women friends in my age group, including me (I'm 39) are being left for much younger women. What gives?

 

 

Depends what they are looking for. For some arm candy that they can go out with and have a non-committal style of dating, sure.

 

But most of my friends in our late 30's want to be in something that has the possibility of being a serious thing. Rarely do you find a 23 year old girl who has the same current goals and priorities as a 40 year old.

[Ilovecake]

I'm 32, my current gf is 18 (and it's not the same 18 year old from last year). I usually avoid women older than 25 -- too bitter, jaded, ****ed over by men too many times. You gotta have trust & faith, single women over 25 are just too cynical about love. I believe in love, but that doesn't mean I can stop for a second competing for the attention of beautiful young women.

 

So when your 18 year old girl turns into a 26 year old woman is it dumpsville for her and then she joins the syndical, jaded club? I guess substance is not a requiremet for you. You sound like a real catch.

 

What you think is jaded most others consider wisdom but I guess that's kind of what threebyfate was saying.

Edited March 26, 2010 by Ilovecake

[paperchase]

I'm 32, my current gf is 18 (and it's not the same 18 year old from last year). I usually avoid women older than 25 -- too bitter, jaded, ****ed over by men too many times. You gotta have trust & faith, single women over 25 are just too cynical about love. I believe in love, but that doesn't mean I can stop for a second competing for the attention of beautiful young women.

 

I can't imagine dealing with an 18 year old. My ex was 21 when I met her and 24 when she left me. I'm 37. At least we could drink together. I agree that some older women can be jaded but I find that applies to mostly to those 30+ who have not had a meaningful long term relationship and, if that's the case, they are justified in their cynicism.

[make me believe]

But as an observer, looking outwards, I would say there's a substantial portion of men who do youth chase for any one, or a combination of the following reasons:

1. Fear of aging and death. Do they still "gotz'it"?
   
2. Superficial reasons, including but not restricted to, trophy hunting.
   
3. Younger women are easier to control and have less experience.
   
4. Younger women are less demanding and are less cognizant of red flags.
   

 

Yeah I think you're right about this, TBF. It creeps me out to see older men with significantly younger women. I immediately think they are in it for the arm candy, or because the young girl is easy to control. (IE: not "jaded" like older women)

 

I usually avoid women older than 25 -- too bitter, jaded, ****ed over by men too many times.

 

Wow, MadDriver!! Over 25 is too old for a 32 year old man??! It says a LOT that you have this arbitrary cut off age, and especially since that cut off age is already 7 years younger than you! I have to agree with cake that what you're considering "bitter" is probably wisdom or maturity. The thought of a 32 year old man with a teenager is just creepy to me.

[carhill]

Perhaps 'most' is subjective; some? Sure, some men love the young hard bodies. Absolutely. Heck, I know guys in their 60's like that. If it wouldn't destroy them financially, they'd replace wifey with a young babe in a blink. Says a lot about them, no?

 

Personally, I prefer someone my own age, and only look for ladies 45-55. More life experience; less kid (meaning children) drama. You might be surprised, but older ladies can be quite attractive. A 'hard' body isn't everything

[sweetjasmine]

Depends what they are looking for. For some arm candy that they can go out with and have a non-committal style of dating, sure.

 

But most of my friends in our late 30's want to be in something that has the possibility of being a serious thing. Rarely do you find a 23 year old girl who has the same current goals and priorities as a 40 year old.

 

It's not just about goals and priorities, but also where you're at in life. I'm in my early 20s and looking to get established and settled (career, a family, a real home instead of a freaking apartment, my own actual furniture instead of Ikea junk, etc.), but there's still no way I'd be compatible with a 40 year old who wants those same things. Compared to most 40 year olds, an early 20-something is still a kid.

[ADF]

I don't know if it is most, but it certainly happens a lot. And it's a shame.

 

My own experience is that men in their 40s who seek out women in their 20s often have some serious domination and control issues. Sure, they like sex with nubile young bodies. But they also like being with women the consider less savvy, less experience in life, and thus easier to manipulate. Some guys who do this also like to make these young women dependent on them financially.

[Maxxx]

40 here

 

I like to look at the younger chic's every now and again but to try and date or have a relationship with someone in their early 20's ?? Nah I don't think so...... Like one poster already posted.... I go to bed early and wake up early. (before the sun comes up even in the summer) And I don't have to much in common with the younger crowd anymore. My age or older is what I look for......

[Ilovecake]

It's not just about goals and priorities, but also where you're at in life. I'm in my early 20s and looking to get established and settled (career, a family, a real home instead of a freaking apartment, my own actual furniture instead of Ikea junk, etc.), but there's still no way I'd be compatible with a 40 year old who wants those same things. Compared to most 40 year olds, an early 20-something is still a kid.

 

I'm sorry you lost me. Are you saying you would or would not want to be with a man who has a stable life?

[Maxxx]

It's not just about goals and priorities, but also where you're at in life. I'm in my early 20s and looking to get established and settled (career, a family, a real home instead of a freaking apartment, my own actual furniture instead of Ikea junk, etc.), but there's still no way I'd be compatible with a 40 year old who wants those same things. Compared to most 40 year olds, an early 20-something is still a kid.

 

hey!!!! wait I am 40 and still have ikea I don't think its junk LOL

[SaintDragon]

My limit both ways is not older than me and no younger than 25..... I'm 35.

 

So yes, if I like her a lot and she's 34 or below..then sure..I would give it a go.

She doesn't HAVE to be in her 20's, but not older than me. I will not date someone older than me...or taller.

[sweetjasmine]

I'm sorry you lost me. Are you saying you would or would not want to be with a man who has a stable life?

 

I do, but I wouldn't have much in common with a 40 year old. A 40 year old will have gone through the process of finding a career for himself, figuring out who he is, and creating a life for himself. He would have years of life experience and would know who he is.

 

I've been in school since I was 5 years old, and I'm only just now coming out of graduate school. I've traveled quite a bit and have spent time in foreign countries on my own, but I don't have the amount of life experience that a 40 year old would have. I don't even have work experience. I haven't even gotten started on making a career for myself. I don't know where I'm going, where I'm going to live, and what I'm going to do with myself. I'm in a period of transition. To get involved with someone who's had a stable life for the past decade wouldn't make sense. If I were to start seeing a 40 year old man, it'd feel like a father-daughter relationship.

[sweetjasmine]

hey!!!! wait I am 40 and still have ikea I don't think its junk LOL

 

 

Some of it is! But some of it isn't junk. The mattress I bought from there is really comfortable.

[aerogurl87]

I'm 20 and there's no way in hell I'd date someone in their 40s. That'd be like dating my dad (can you say creepy?) On the same note, my ex boyfriend is 31 and I was more mature than he was come to find out. And for a brief period I dated guys who were only between the ages of 25 and 30 (oldest one was 33, but he had the body of a model and was therefore an exception, lol). I didn't want to date anyone younger because I thought all college guys were just looking to hit it and quit it. But I found out that older guys were doing the same thing basically. Now that I've learned more about life a little bit, I've found that I do want to be with someone closer to my age. I don't want to feel pressured to start a family soon because my boyfriend is getting older and is noticing all his friends are settling down now. I want to be able to experience new things with my boyfriend, like buying our first house together or starting both of our new respective careers. Most older guys have already done those things and are usually in another stage in life. Then the ones who aren't looking for a real commitment just want a fling or a trophy girlfriend/wife. And I'm not willing to be either of those.

[sumdude]

I'm 42 divorced with no kids. Most women I've dated as well as my ex wife have been right around my age.

 

Early 20's? Seems like fun but in realty what would we have in common? Plus I think I would feel a bit creepy being old enough to be daddy. I think that's the dividing line for me right now. If I'm old enough to be her father I don't know if I could get past that.

 

Late 20's early 30's? Could work, especially if we want kids. If I were to pick what seems about ideal it would be 30 - 36.

Edited March 26, 2010 by sumdude

[melodymatters]

My limit both ways is not older than me and no younger than 25..... I'm 35.

 

So yes, if I like her a lot and she's 34 or below..then sure..I would give it a go.

She doesn't HAVE to be in her 20's, but not older than me. I will not date someone older than me...or taller.

 

 

No offense but you live with your parents at 35 and drive a hundred dollar car. Are you actually saying that if an attractive, succesful 38 yr old wanted to date you, you would refuse ?

[Ilovecake]

Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, age 73, is currently having an affair with his 18 year old girlfriend. What people fail to realize is that there is a lot, a lot of men, from 13 year olds to 100 year olds, all competing for the same beautiful women 18 to 25.

 

I certainly didn't have access to hot 18 year olds when I was 18. It took me many, many years to get to where I'm at, to realize the size and depth of the competition.

 

Women surely must know their declining value over the years... Yet some still refuse to settle... Tsk, tsk... See "Marry Him" book on Amazon.

 

and this is exactly why you're stuck dating children. need I say more?

[SaintDragon]

No offense but you live with your parents at 35 and drive a hundred dollar car. Are you actually saying that if an attractive, succesful 38 yr old wanted to date you, you would refuse ?

 

Are you freakin kidding me, Mel?... I don't live in my parent's house and I own my place, small, but owned and payed for, My 100 dollar car is something I found for sale that the guy's insurance wouldn't cover so I thought I could use my abilities of fixing cars to do it cheap and have an extra car...or have a car for the enduro race this year. I actually have two other cars that are driven daily and fully insured.. the 100 dollar car is a toy.

 

I don't appreciate the non-factual statements:rolleyes:

[Maxxx]

My limit both ways is not older than me and no younger than 25..... I'm 35.

 

So yes, if I like her a lot and she's 34 or below..then sure..I would give it a go.

She doesn't HAVE to be in her 20's, but not older than me. I will not date someone older than me...or taller.

 

my GF is taller then me I think it bothers her more then it does me... That might be another topic...

 

Might I ask just for the sake of asking why you WON"T date a woman older then you? or even taller whats the big deal? just asking

[paperchase]

This thread is funny to me. I really can't generalize about anything, but I just got dumped by a 24 year old who was anything but easy to control. And I am anything but controlling. Also, I want any woman I am with to be arm candy in the sense that others find her attractive. I guess I'm shallow that way.

 

I also think that to an extent age is just a number. Maturity is hard to gauge. I'm in my late 30s. I spent about 7 years of my life in a serious slumber. Won't go into details but in my mind I am 7 years younger than my real age. Think of it like a coma. Also, because I am very close with my younger sister and because of some of my interests, I am very clued into what is hip or trending. I still identify with young music. I even tweet. I stay cutting edge. On top of that I look young.

 

Now I won't lie about my age if asked, but I neither look nor feel like a creepy old man if I approach, or am approached by, a woman in her mid 20s. And we can get along just fine. The generation gap is not there. The music hasn't changed much, the fashion hasn't changed much, the attitudes haven't changed much and sex is universal.

 

The biggest issue I have found is that others will judge you which puts a strain on the relationship and your partner may want mr. right now and you may be looking for mrs. right.