Why are so many married teacher's sleeping with the student?

[John Who]

I was reading the paper this morning and yet AGAIN! another female married teacher is having sex with her underage student.

 

I know we have been seeing alot on T.V about these male celebrities having A's,but what about all the female M teacher's sleeping with students I have seen it over and over again,just in my city I seen 3 different teachers in 4 weeks on the news for sleeping with underage students.

 

Why are they not givin harsher punishment,why do we not make a big deal of this,and sometimes the media does not even bother them,the middle school down the street from me about a year ago a married teacher was having sex with a 13 year old boy,and no local media coverage at all on her,is it because she is a woman and if it were a man teacher doing this he would be blasted.

 

This has been happening alot ,are more teachers doing this because the punishment for sleeping with a underage student not harsh enough?

[sally4sara]

While I know it happens, I highly doubt it is "so many" prior to college.

[NoIDidn't]

I think society tends to see the bigger, older male as possibly impaling the young girl and using her body to satisfy his lusts, no matter her protestations. We all know that being older is no indication of actual penis size, but that seems to be the imagery that most people have of sex between an older man and a teen girl.

 

Our society doesn't place a high enough premium on mental or emotional health. I think the emotional damage done to males is very different to the possible and sometimes real physical AND emotional damage done to the females.

 

And even that teen male is likely to view his "conquest" of an older woman in a positive light. The teen male may never come to see the experience as a bad one, but his mother definitely will.

 

Maybe even his father is a little proud that his son was able to get an older woman's interest sexually.

 

I honestly don't know, but was just putting this out there. I have no idea why married high school and middle/junior high school female teachers are sleeping with their students. One thing they seem to have in common is some type of mental illness and major dysfunction. A normally thinking and functioning woman isn't likely to see a teen/boy as a potential sexual partner.

[Woman In Blue]

Why are they not givin harsher punishment,why do we not make a big deal of this,and sometimes the media does not even bother them,the middle school down the street from me about a year ago a married teacher was having sex with a 13 year old boy,and no local media coverage at all on her,is it because she is a woman and if it were a man teacher doing this he would be blasted.

Well, the simple truth is that the 13 or 14 or 15 year old boy is too busy slapping five's with his buddies and bragging about how he got laid by the teacher to be running to the authorities to whine and complain that he's been defiled. Doesn't make it right that the female teachers tend to not get crucified like the men teachers do, but that's pretty much how it seems to go when it does happen.

[ADF]

Actually, incidents like these are pretty rare. It is far more common for male teachers to seduce or molest female students. When a case of a female teacher carrying on with a male student comes to light, it makes huge headline for weeks, even months. That is why it seems like it is common. But it isn't.

[angie2443]

Actually, incidents like these are pretty rare. It is far more common for male teachers to seduce or molest female students. When a case of a female teacher carrying on with a male student comes to light, it makes huge headline for weeks, even months. That is why it seems like it is common. But it isn't.

 

This is true. From what I've seen when I was younger and in high/middle school, most of the male teachers who became involved with the female students didn't get reported. It's a rarity when a female teacher molest a male student. It also goes against the stereotype of the nurturing female and this is why it makes huge headlines when it happens.

[laRubiaBonita]

who are the kids that sleep with their married teachers??? are they that stupid? are their grades that bad?

[John Who]

This has been going on for along time,I think it is not reported as much also because,when I was in middle school a classmate of mine was sleeping with the teacher who was also married,she was a art teacher and she would have him go to her house while her H was away he was in the military.

 

Never really believed my classmate,until we started paying more attention to her body language towards him and how she treated him and she would even pick him up from his home on weekends and say they were going on a art field trip.

 

I think women teachers do this because they pretty much get away with it,men on the other hand will go to prison and be labled as a rapist in there.

 

Even if it were a male teacher having sex with a male student,which I have seen on the news several years ago,he would even get a harsher punishment than a female teacher.

 

Does society not see it the same?

[GorillaTheater]

who are the kids that sleep with their married teachers??? are they that stupid? are their grades that bad?

 

I chalk it up to crazed teenaged horniness. I remember a couple of teachers I'd like to have banged like a screendoor in a hurricane. I mean, after all:

 

http://students.ceid.upatras.gr/~akis/jotd26/att-0056/01-lafave_debra_beasley.jpg

 

But I too seem to see quite a few of these stories. Seems like the "crazed horniness" thing cuts both ways. Except that the teachers are risking far more than the students.

[laRubiaBonita]

 

Does society not see it the same?

 

no- just look at domestic abuse cases where the woman is the abuser, or rape cases where the woman is the rapist..... generally the punative action towards the guilty woman is lesser than it would be for her male counterpart.

[sweetjasmine]

Our society doesn't place a high enough premium on mental or emotional health. I think the emotional damage done to males is very different to the possible and sometimes real physical AND emotional damage done to the females.

 

I think there's some truth to that. But at the same time, it turns my stomach whenever a story comes out about a female teacher and male student and the response is "lol high five, dude, she's kinda hot!" There's absolutely no reason why female teachers should be punished less than male teachers for doing the same exact thing. It's still predatory regardless of how much it affects the victim.

 

who are the kids that sleep with their married teachers??? are they that stupid? are their grades that bad?

 

They're kids. They don't really know what they're doing.

[John Who]

For example Debra Lafave she was having sex with a student and if im not mistaken she was also M,what was her punishment?? House arrest!! and her lawyer made a statement saying she was to pretty to go to jail WTF!!!!

 

Most reccently a teacher from California was having a six month affair with her 14 year old student,and she turned herself in and says she regrets it and they want to praise her because she turned herself in???

 

It is not ok for male or female teachers to be banging the students.

[jnj express]

Really bad thing is that many of these women teachers who are having sex with male minors, have kids of their own.

 

One theory as to why they do not end up in jail with the key thrown away like the male teachers is that the female teachers are providing a learninig experience for the young boys---that is the honest truth at least 3 different judges gave that as a reason for not putting the woman in the lockup----they got probation, and of course they do have to register as sex offenders, but they are free. If man does it, it is called rape and he gets jailtime.

 

Best recent case---here in so. calif.----Amy Beck--has a cop for a husband and 3 kids---she is 33, and was doing a 14 yr. old boy----she felt so guilty she turned herself in----is in jail awaiting arraignment----will plead not guilty-----who knows???????

[LucreziaBorgia]

I think since our society has sexualized girls at a younger and younger age these days, women find themselves competing with a younger age group and perhaps go after young boys to prove to themselves they still 'have it' and are sexy and attractive.

[reservoirdog1]

I suspect that it's a very isolated problem. True, it seems like there are publicized cases every few months. But the percentage of famale teachers who do that is very low. Blame the sensationalized nature of the modern news media.

[laRubiaBonita]

i just remembered this ......when i was in first grade, at a private christian school, we had a male gym teacher that would feel on all the girls- like back rubs, shoulder rubs, neck rubs.... he liked it when the girls would play with his hair and rub his shoulders

 

we were only 5, 6 & 7 year old little girls :sick:

 

i was chubby, so i think that was why he never really messed with me. but, i do remember now, feeling jealous of the girls he did touch- ewww!

 

i am going to look up his name and see if anything ever happened to him.

[CarrieT]

Okay, time to share another one of *my* stories...

 

I was one of those girls; I was 16 and he was 37 and it was thirty years ago -- back when these things were not publicized. He bragged to the Principal and Vice Principal and got the high-fives from them.

 

I was already a rape victim and know now that I was just looking for love and acceptance. It has nothing to do with being a horny teenager. I didn't tell anyone until I heard he approached a 14-year old and then I confided my story to a school counselor.

 

The police showed up and asked if this was true. I assented and showed them a diary I had kept which included times and locations (including his and his wife's bed). Then the story got out and hit the press and akin to the Clinton/Lewinski story, My Teacher gave interviews that it never happened, that I was deranged and made the whole thing up and fantasized the whole incident. The police investigators knew otherwise since I had knowledge of birthmarks and scars on the man's body and charged him with statutory rape.

 

The public stood behind this man (he was that idolized by the parent/teacher groups) and I had death threats and slashed tires for "attempting to libel" the guy. Eventually, he plead no contest in court, was charged a $1,000 fine, and was transferred to a different, boys-only school (but still with minors). This was before there were registered sex offender lists. The school board voted to give me my diploma, telling me to not come back to school whatsoever. I was deprived of my prom, my graduation, and my senior year of high school. I became suicidal, depressed, and I believe it has partly scarred my ability to have a proper, respectful relationship.

 

And, when all was said and done, only ONE friend from high school stood by me, believing my side of the story. To this day -- via Facebook -- some have tried to come back and acknowledge what had happened and how bad it was for me. I realize now that my parents probably could have sued the school board and school district for how the whole thing was handled. But this was before our society became sue-happy.

[DMoon]

Okay, time to share another one of *my* stories...

 

I was one of those girls; I was 16 and he was 37 and it was thirty years ago -- back when these things were not publicized. He bragged to the Principal and Vice Principal and got the high-fives from them.

 

I was already a rape victim and know now that I was just looking for love and acceptance. It has nothing to do with being a horny teenager. I didn't tell anyone until I heard he approached a 14-year old and then I confided my story to a school counselor.

 

The police showed up and asked if this was true. I assented and showed them a diary I had kept which included times and locations (including his and his wife's bed). Then the story got out and hit the press and akin to the Clinton/Lewinski story, My Teacher gave interviews that it never happened, that I was deranged and made the whole thing up and fantasized the whole incident. The police investigators knew otherwise since I had knowledge of birthmarks and scars on the man's body and charged him with statutory rape.

 

The public stood behind this man (he was that idolized by the parent/teacher groups) and I had death threats and slashed tires for "attempting to libel" the guy. Eventually, he plead no contest in court, was charged a $1,000 fine, and was transferred to a different, boys-only school (but still with minors). This was before there were registered sex offender lists. The school board voted to give me my diploma, telling me to not come back to school whatsoever. I was deprived of my prom, my graduation, and my senior year of high school. I became suicidal, depressed, and I believe it has partly scarred my ability to have a proper, respectful relationship.

 

And, when all was said and done, only ONE friend from high school stood by me, believing my side of the story. To this day -- via Facebook -- some have tried to come back and acknowledge what had happened and how bad it was for me. I realize now that my parents probably could have sued the school board and school district for how the whole thing was handled. But this was before our society became sue-happy.

 

Wow. I am very sorry CarrieT. I don’t know how you could even converse with those people—especially now they realize they may have girls that were your age—and maybe they realize you were actually telling the truth. I don’t think I can forgive and you are strong person for being successful despite the public and emotional scar. I wonder what happened to that lowlife?

 

I work in the field and I often deal with Rape and molested victims. You story is true a lot of the times as opposed to the Lolita types trying to string some older dude along.

 

One story I was tangentially affiliated with was with a high school gym teacher (male) who took advantage of the 15 year old girl. They had sex in his office and in his home –and then it comes out later that he was HIV positive and now the girl is infected. It was all over the news. He was arrested and disgraced.

 

Another case, which was heavily publicized, was a Vice Principal who ended up getting 2 high school teenage girls pregnant, etc. Awful. Both of these men were in their 40’s.

[Dexter Morgan]

This has been happening alot ,are more teachers doing this because the punishment for sleeping with a underage student not harsh enough?

 

its not harsh enough for a female teacher who sleeps with a student. history shows a leniency towards female teachers who sleep with male students.

 

maybe if the book was thrown at them like it is at male teachers, and rightfully so, then perhaps it wouldn't be as commonplace.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

And even that teen male is likely to view his "conquest" of an older woman in a positive light. The teen male may never come to see the experience as a bad one, but his mother definitely will.

 

Ha! NID, I was reading your post thinking I WOULD KILL a woman who did that to my teenage son. It is very interesting to me that its treated differently. I agree that the women who do this most often have some time of mental illness or personality disorder. I can't imagine what type of a woman could possibly be interested in a child, or how a woman with children could EVER bring herself to do that to a child. :eek:

[Untouchable_Fire]

Well, the simple truth is that the 13 or 14 or 15 year old boy is too busy slapping five's with his buddies and bragging about how he got laid by the teacher to be running to the authorities to whine and complain that he's been defiled. Doesn't make it right that the female teachers tend to not get crucified like the men teachers do, but that's pretty much how it seems to go when it does happen.

 

I didn't high 5 my buddies when this happened to me! Of course... I was home schooled!

[NoIDidn't]

And even that teen male is likely to view his "conquest" of an older woman in a positive light. The teen male may never come to see the experience as a bad one, but his mother definitely will.

 

Ha! NID, I was reading your post thinking I WOULD KILL a woman who did that to my teenage son. It is very interesting to me that its treated differently. I agree that the women who do this most often have some time of mental illness or personality disorder. I can't imagine what type of a woman could possibly be interested in a child, or how a woman with children could EVER bring herself to do that to a child. :eek:

 

LOL. Yeah, I can only imagine what I would do to the woman that would do or even just attempt to do this with one of my sons. Death might actually be too kind.

[CarrieT]

Wow. I am very sorry CarrieT. I don’t know how you could even converse with those people—especially now they realize they may have girls that were your age—and maybe they realize you were actually telling the truth. I don’t think I can forgive and you are strong person for being successful despite the public and emotional scar. I wonder what happened to that lowlife?

 

Well, when these high school people started trying to Facebook me, I glanced through THEIR friends and saw his picture. Man, was that ever a jolt -- to think he is friends with some of the people who used to be *my* friends... Apparently he is teaching college somewhere in the mid-west.

 

A really hard part came for me last August. I was selling my artwork at a large festival and, admitting that I am really bad at remembering faces*, had this man walk up to me with a ****-eating-grin on his face. I apologized and said that he looked familiar, but couldn't recall the name. He turned out to the one teacher that I was close to at the school (I was his assistant and babysat his children) but had left for sabbatical and was replaced by the guy I had the affair with.

 

Of course he had heard the publicized story and what the school board had told him and -- like most -- assumed I was the seducing Lolita. He wrote me after we met, "From my Wisconsin college job, I had heard some of it, but never the detail you provided yesterday. To now have a chance to give you a hug and hear the rest of the story, and to know you are alive and well and being productive is a great thing. Life sometimes throws enormous challenges at us. Seeing that you have survived, and have found a calling, reinforces my own feeling that, despite all, the universe is a good place."

 

* I have blocked out a LOT of some of these things that happened in my youth -- like this and other multiple rapes. I know they happened, but faces and names and particulars are very fuzzy. Even now, when I look at Facebook names of people from my past, I ask internally, "did I know that person?"

[DMoon]

Well, when these high school people started trying to Facebook me, I glanced through THEIR friends and saw his picture. Man, was that ever a jolt -- to think he is friends with some of the people who used to be *my* friends... Apparently he is teaching college somewhere in the mid-west.

 

A really hard part came for me last August. I was selling my artwork at a large festival and, admitting that I am really bad at remembering faces*, had this man walk up to me with a ****-eating-grin on his face. I apologized and said that he looked familiar, but couldn't recall the name. He turned out to the one teacher that I was close to at the school (I was his assistant and babysat his children) but had left for sabbatical and was replaced by the guy I had the affair with.

 

Of course he had heard the publicized story and what the school board had told him and -- like most -- assumed I was the seducing Lolita. He wrote me after we met, "From my Wisconsin college job, I had heard some of it, but never the detail you provided yesterday. To now have a chance to give you a hug and hear the rest of the story, and to know you are alive and well and being productive is a great thing. Life sometimes throws enormous challenges at us. Seeing that you have survived, and have found a calling, reinforces my own feeling that, despite all, the universe is a good place."

 

* I have blocked out a LOT of some of these things that happened in my youth -- like this and other multiple rapes. I know they happened, but faces and names and particulars are very fuzzy. Even now, when I look at Facebook names of people from my past, I ask internally, "did I know that person?"

 

Truly Incredible and awful CarrieT. Why do people do this? Trying to friend you while being friends with that creep. Bizarre. That serendipitous encounter with the other more supportive teacher must certainly have turned you off balance. A lot of molesters like that other “teacher” are never caught—there is no remorse—like they never did anything wrong and they can still manage—outwardly some semblance of a normal life. One has to wonder if there were more victims and how they can still be friends--don't your old classmates wonder?

 

Off topic, you obviously have resiliency as a survivor. I am sure you know blocking is what helped you to deal and to survive. The fact that you are an artist is not surprising, but I wonder (may not be the first you heard of this suggestion) have you ever considered fictionalizing or putting your story to paper? Survivor stories help those who don't know how to fight back--hopefully it doesn't trigger things within you.

 

Again—I truly commend you on your ability to survive and thrive in spite of such pain.

[stillafool]

I think since our society has sexualized girls at a younger and younger age these days, women find themselves competing with a younger age group and perhaps go after young boys to prove to themselves they still 'have it' and are sexy and attractive.

 

 

I don't think it is as much them proving to themselves that they still have it as much as it is they see these young guys and get horny for them. Pure and simple - LUST. Same as men. Most of the teachers who are doing this are attractive women and many of them are married.