sadfool Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I'm new to this forum, and in reading the various posts, have been greatly uplifted by everyone's experiences. My story is ridiculous and just a twist on the many experiences that have already been posted. I 'dated', someone I now realize was a player, for nearly two years! We had an incredible connection/attraction when we met and this is something that never changed between us. But it was 2 years of push-pull - as soon we would get too close he would pull away and say that he was not ready to be in a relationship and I deserved more. At first I was not strong enough to do NC when he would treat me like this, and as soon as he would come around with the 'I miss you's' and the 'you mean so much to me's', I would be hooked again. Finally last fall, I said make up your mind if you want to be with me and initiated a 3-month NC rule, where we said we would speak down the road to assess how we both felt. When we spoke again, he said that he needed more time to figure things out, which was fair and NC was initiated again. Unfortunately during this NC period, I found out I was pregnant and had to break the silence ... obviously it was a difficult time for both of us (we decided not to go through with it) and we leaned on each other during and for a short period afterwards with the understanding that we would support each other through this and would later resume our lives (he still didn't want to be with me). I ended up in counselling and after about 3 weeks was feeling like I was stronger and him being there, as a "friend" was just too difficult for me. I told him that my choice with him was never to be friends, and that unfortunately we were not on the same page and I had to move on. NC after all of this is very, very difficult. I feel like each time I get a text message it comes with a string that is directly attached to my heart and it just yanks at it. In retrospect, I wish I was strong enough to walk away a long time ago, but didn't. And I read all of these posts of people who keep going back the way I did and all I can say is, don't ... they're not worth it. Anyone who truly loves and respects you will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences on this board.
Fouts Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Live and learn hun, a big part of that is realizing that it was your incredible connection and attraction, not his.
EYECANDY000 Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I'm new to this forum, and in reading the various posts, have been greatly uplifted by everyone's experiences. My story is ridiculous and just a twist on the many experiences that have already been posted. I 'dated', someone I now realize was a player, for nearly two years! We had an incredible connection/attraction when we met and this is something that never changed between us. But it was 2 years of push-pull - as soon we would get too close he would pull away and say that he was not ready to be in a relationship and I deserved more. At first I was not strong enough to do NC when he would treat me like this, and as soon as he would come around with the 'I miss you's' and the 'you mean so much to me's', I would be hooked again. Finally last fall, I said make up your mind if you want to be with me and initiated a 3-month NC rule, where we said we would speak down the road to assess how we both felt. When we spoke again, he said that he needed more time to figure things out, which was fair and NC was initiated again. Unfortunately during this NC period, I found out I was pregnant and had to break the silence ... obviously it was a difficult time for both of us (we decided not to go through with it) and we leaned on each other during and for a short period afterwards with the understanding that we would support each other through this and would later resume our lives (he still didn't want to be with me). I ended up in counselling and after about 3 weeks was feeling like I was stronger and him being there, as a "friend" was just too difficult for me. I told him that my choice with him was never to be friends, and that unfortunately we were not on the same page and I had to move on. NC after all of this is very, very difficult. I feel like each time I get a text message it comes with a string that is directly attached to my heart and it just yanks at it. In retrospect, I wish I was strong enough to walk away a long time ago, but didn't. And I read all of these posts of people who keep going back the way I did and all I can say is, don't ... they're not worth it. Anyone who truly loves and respects you will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences on this board. I think you need to put your walking boots back on and get away from this guy. be happy that you arent connected with him for eternity with a little one. as we get older, you get wiser.. I was speaking with a friend yesterday about my relationship and she said " you should never be the same person that you were yesterday" you need to learn and grow from it. honey you need to focus on "self" and leave this guy alone..hope everything works out
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