"i cant believe this..." BELIEVE IT!!!

[KevinHJW]

so here i am, on the breaks and breaking up board.

ive been reading alot of yr posts lately, trying to share feelings with the broken hearts who are in exactly the same situation as i am now.

i am 25, and my gf broke up with me about 2weeks ago.

i had several relationships before. but i never thought at the age of 25, as a mature man (she doubted) who's now trying his best to finish the master degree and working like a goddamn dog to please his bosses to guarantee the future high-paid job by which he will pay the loan of the fking apartment purchased for "them" last year, this would ever, possibly happen to me.

to be honest with u guys, i considered her as my fiancé, i really did, not to mention she was the one i liked back in junior high.

just several months ago at the new year holiday, we officially met each other's parents, which is now pretty ironical for me.

oh yeah, i almost forgot to tell u the reason... reason for breaking up.

we did quarrel alot during our 20months relationship, for some trivial matters, just like other couples did.

but things changed after she graduated from U.K. and came back for me in Shanghai. she began to have job which was a very cool thing i thought, because she used to complain about my busy work and study and not spending to much time with her. so i thought having a job might possibly help balance our relationship.

she started working in January. and on March14, after a quite, common(at least i thought so) quarrel, she decided to leave me.

i went to her parent's place and waited 2.5hours for a talk, because they went out for dinner. at 11p.m. that night, we finnally got to talk things over, at least i thought so at that moment.

she explained the reason with tears in her eyes. she told me our relationship was to fragile to be broken again, and by now she just found out being alone could be so much fun, so she need some time alone. and she told me she might be regretful and asked if we could be friends and meet again. i said definitely. that night ended with love, i thought.

when i got up next morning(as u can imagine, i could hardly sleep that night), i began my 11-day reconciling attempt which was officially ended by her this morning.

i knew it was meaningless and stupid, but just like the other broken hearts who spent their time writing here, i just cant help doing so. and now, i guess she just blocked my msn.

im not looking for those HOWs or WHYs anymore, what im trying to say is NOBODY could possibly get over the one he/she loved(or still love which is worse) after such an abrupt breakup.

i did some introspection, and i thought maybe i should just wish her happy either being alone or with some other guy cause i didnt treat her as well as she expected.

 

"life goes on, and u should move on", thats what she told me.

yeah, life goes on, but feelings do stay.

guys, to be frank with u, i still cant believe any of these, which are still torturing me every second of my life.

but hey, BELIEVE IT!!!

because people CHANGE, and they really do.

 

thx for reading thru.

[WantToGetExBack]

Sorry to hear that, I agree it just makes it so much harder when they end it without a valid reason and so abruptly, but she might have been considering this for a while. I don't think if anyone ever truly loves you, they can change their feelings so quickly for you unless you just screwed up things somewhere. Samething happened with me and I know it will not be as hard if she cared to tell me why she did it and gave me little time to come to terms with it, the way they tell you, you should move on, literally makes you feel they hate you now and can't stand you anymore. But trust me you will never get over her unless you try to, I know it's easier said than done because I still feel like it's day 1 for me because I know I haven't been trying myself and only made it more worse by pleading, begging , and losing my dignity.

[KevinHJW]

i just talked to my best friend about my breakup, and im now in his office posting this.

believe me, i total understand yr feelings and i think u should do exactly what u suggest me do. maybe just start from changing yr log-in name.

what im trying to say is, we all should move forward.

i know u totally understand this, but u just cant. so try this...

during my conversation with my friend, i found the most important thing for us now is to learn to understand the ones we still love and care.

specifically, i try to stop thinking about all the breakup reasons im looking for. why dont we just believe in what they told us? maybe that is just the truth.

and i try to think about things in a long-term. imagine 60years later, what will we be doing or thinking?

dont u wanna leave her at least some good memories? im sure u do.

so please, stop contacting if u already tried yr best.

how do u know if u tried yr best?

u just take a deep breath and ask yourself rationally.

if so, lets face it. no matter what we do, they just cant accept us again.

so why dont we just try to think about things from their perspectives?

THEY DONT WANNA BE CONTACTED BY US.

and please, do not wonder if they are hanging around with somebody else cause that will never help us over this.

 

thx for sharing man, feel free to post if u have some to say.

[MrsPeaSoup]

You know what also really helps; to accept that you and the other person need some time alone to get ur acts together.

 

Just focuss on yourself atm for a while. Good luck!

[KevinHJW]

you're right, maybe keep the hope in mind will never be a bad thing.

just keep on thinking in this way and never get back to those crazy thoughts cause sometimes i'd like to call it,

"THE CIRCULATION OF PAIN"

 

thx man~

[WantToGetExBack]

i just talked to my best friend about my breakup, and im now in his office posting this.

believe me, i total understand yr feelings and i think u should do exactly what u suggest me do. maybe just start from changing yr log-in name.

what im trying to say is, we all should move forward.

i know u totally understand this, but u just cant. so try this...

during my conversation with my friend, i found the most important thing for us now is to learn to understand the ones we still love and care.

specifically, i try to stop thinking about all the breakup reasons im looking for. why dont we just believe in what they told us? maybe that is just the truth.

and i try to think about things in a long-term. imagine 60years later, what will we be doing or thinking?

dont u wanna leave her at least some good memories? im sure u do.

so please, stop contacting if u already tried yr best.

how do u know if u tried yr best?

u just take a deep breath and ask yourself rationally.

if so, lets face it. no matter what we do, they just cant accept us again.

so why dont we just try to think about things from their perspectives?

THEY DONT WANNA BE CONTACTED BY US.

and please, do not wonder if they are hanging around with somebody else cause that will never help us over this.

 

thx for sharing man, feel free to post if u have some to say.

 

Hey yeah I agree with everything you said because I know pleading and begging didn't help my situation and the more you wonder about all the circumstances it makes you feel worse. It's like I know what is better for me, and that is hanging out with friends, focusing on school etc, but it's still so goddamn hard to do. Only thing that makes me feel better is just reading posts here and knowing that if I post something, others will relate to it because they have experienced the same pain as me. I think what we struggle with the most is the strong emotional attachment and support from exes while they were still there for us, I might eventually get that again from someone else, but until that happens, I don't believe it. You know you love them so much because even though they left you never to come back, you still got that glimmer of hope that doesn't let you move on.

Edited March 27, 2010 by WantToGetExBack

[xpaperxcutx]

If you want an answer I can't only give you one that I as a woman can relate to as.

 

Personally I think that at her age ( in her mid- twenties) she feels she's in her prime and being stuck in a relationship seemed suffocating. You probably told her you wanted to marry her or she sensed that she'll probably only end up with you for the rest of her life. She wanted to be single and explore, and flirt with whatever options are out there....

 

Selfish of her? From your point of view yes, but these things happen for both genders.

 

The only thing you can do is accept that she chose to break up with you. Whatever happens here on after is moot with and focuses more how you can emotionally heal and move on.

 

From the sounds of things, I think you should treasure what you have. You have a job and a family that loves you. You have friends and you have your youth. Eventually someone new will come along that you can share the rest of your life with.

[KevinHJW]

hey guys, thx for everything u said and suggested.

last night was great for me cause i thought ive found a way out.

i hate to tell u this, especially for the ones who still have hopes for their exes. but this is just the end of my story. maybe yrs will be different.

on her homepage, i just found out the reason for breaking up is a new guy. trust me, this is the last thing i ever wanna tell u or "share" with u.

but that explains everything, the abrupt breakup, the sudden change of attitude, the quicker-than-imagine "healing up", EVERYTHING

funny thing is, i ant mad, just found my hands shivering.

i wish all of u guys good luck with the hard times u r going thu, and maybe some day later, u will be able to win his/her heart back.

 

thx for posting.

[TaraMaiden]

You talk like this is something new....

It's the same old same old, hun....