dilemma..if she has someone else?

[eternal.denied84]

i am so sick of thinking that my ex left me because she probably got someone better,this thought keep haunting me,i force myself to think why should this matter to me but i just cant help,i become so negative and feel so rejected.i have asked her couple of times to be honest to me and let me know she says she doesn't have anyone but my gut feeling says she really have someone and she is hiding from me because she is scared if i do some bad thing or whatever.

 

how should i get rid of this feeling? possibly i would never be able to find out.If i find out by any means what is the truth would that help me?

 

i just want to move on i have tried my best but i waste so much time thinking of a girl who really do not deserve my time.i just want to flash out my past 2 years..i wish i could.

 

any suggestions?

[Rearden Metal]

Quit asking her ANYTHING. Just stop, man!

 

Second, it doesn't matter ONE bit if she has someone else, and it matters even less if he's "better". The only thing that matters, AT ALL, is that YOU get better. Now!

 

You're going to think about her. Some days are going to be torture. But you have to regain your self respect or you're going to be a totally limp, undesirable little wussbag. To her or any other gal.

 

Grab yourself by the collar, pick yourself up. Don't talk to your Ex. Get on with your life.

[RockGuy87]

Dude listen to me. I just went through this. I had asked my ex to be honest with me about if she was with someone else and she told me no both times i asked. But wut do u kno she was with someone else. It hurt like hell but it is the best in the long run, i feel so much better now that i kno and thats outta the way. It will happen sooner or later and it has helped me move on, theres no chance in her coming back but that helps knowing it

[cdt76]

Simply put, she will lie no matter what she is doing. If she is seeing someone else, she won't tell you and if she is not, she'll make it look like she is to show you she has moved on. I know because telling a lie is easier then telling the truth and there is nothing you can do about it. You must focus on what caused your break up or the need for her to look elsewhere and you need to fix that. It's hard and emotionally taxing and it will take time. Give yourself a break and know that you will survive this, you will overcome the pain and you will become better for it. If you can do these things then you will be the better person and it will be her loss anyway.

[KevinHJW]

Quit asking her ANYTHING. Just stop, man!

 

Second, it doesn't matter ONE bit if she has someone else, and it matters even less if he's "better". The only thing that matters, AT ALL, is that YOU get better. Now!

 

You're going to think about her. Some days are going to be torture. But you have to regain your self respect or you're going to be a totally limp, undesirable little wussbag. To her or any other gal.

 

Grab yourself by the collar, pick yourself up. Don't talk to your Ex. Get on with your life.

i really wanna thank guys like Rearden Metal for replying posts, which definitely help the broken hearts like u, and me.

to be honest, the problem u r going thu now was also occupying my mind. i am glad i used "WAS", at least at this moment i thought so cause i understand going over an ex is like the "CIRCULATION OF PAIN".

i know what u r doing. u just cant stop thinking what's yr ex doing and whom she might be hanging around with.

THIS IS LIKE A NIGHTMIRE IN WHICH U WILL NEVER, EVER BE ABLE TO SEE THE FINALE.

and the worse thing is, u might probably have problems with sleep...

i totaly understand all of this.

but trust me, the thoughts we have maybe alitte bit SICK!

nobody belongs to anybody else. what we should do is cherish the days they spent with us, the good memories they created for us, and looking for the faults we made in the relationship.

i guess only by doing this, can we truly start letting go and wish them happy always.

[Rearden Metal]

Spot on Kevin. In the end, it's my wish that both my ex and I are happy people, together or apart.

 

That's what the note on the flowers I sent to her on Vday said. "Together or Apart, You're always in my Heart."

 

I meant every word. I may be upset, even disgusted by her, but I love her and I want what's best for us both.

 

Only now, I want what's best for ME first. I don't owe her anything. So each day, no matter how badly I want to, I don't dial the number, send an email or punch out a text. I..Just...Don't.

[Weird]

It is easier said than done but just try and not wonder about that and have faith that no matter what anything that happens is for the best.

 

I know what it is like to wonder in this way and think if the person is with someone else that their partner is better but it truthfully doesn't really matter in the grand scheme things and there is a better chance that it will end and if you gave the person your love and truly made them see how much you cared they will think the world of you.

 

The best way to move forward is to see flaws in yourself, make an effort to fix them and just have faith that everything will work out the best way for you.

[ADF]

In a situation like yours, the toughest thing to get is a straight answer. Too many people in this world are all about making things as easy as possible in themselves. How other people feel doesn't count. They lie, hide things, put up fronts, all in an effort to avoid a difficult conversation.

 

That said, your relationship with this woman is over. Stop obsessing about why she dumped you. Let's say you did find out she'd found someone else--what would you do then? Would you want to get back with this woman who lied to you and cheated on you and treated you like dirt? No.

[cdt76]

I want someone just like her only better! Someone who is as beautiful but doesn't lie and means what they say. Someone who understand that when I say I love you or I'm sorry, that I truly mean it and someone who understands the meaning of the words coming out of her own mouth!