kate9302 Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Hello, i was in a three year relationship and after he broke up with me last october (on my birthday) i still am not over him. when we first met, he was all i had been looking for, i felt happy and believed that i had met the one. 9 months later i found out that he was cheating on me, after speaking with the other woman myself i also found out that he had done all the running after her. he told me they had finished, we stayed together (i couldnt let go) and after another two months he dumped me on newyears day. he broke me heart and i never did move forward, so when he got back in contact at the end of march, like a fool i went running. so we got back together, as the year went on i thought we were going good, until i saw an email he had sent to some woman, it was a picture of his 'privates' , i called him on it and he said "i dont even know her , i dont know why i sent it, i was stupid, and havnt even met her". i was right back to how i felt previously, the hurt was horrible. but as we were off on holiday the following day (i dont know how i did it) i managed to put it aside and still go. when we came back from our holiday i asked him if that was it, over with... he said no and that he wanted us to stay together, again like a mug i agreed. one week later, i found yet another email to another woman who he had known before he met me, in it he had said how he had feelings for her and how he wished that she felt the same as him as he believed that they would be good together. yet again after much arguing and a week apart we got back together. we managed another year and a half together, him flirting with people, me being an idiot and always believing that in time he would realise that he loved me. until my birthday came and as things were tense between us about his flirting and secretive ways he dumped me. i never heard from him for two months then out of the blue a text asking how i was, i answered saying i was doing good. the texts went back and forth every four days or so then after two months he asked to come see me. he came to mine and we talked, he was saying lots of things like how he missed me and loved me, i was careful then not to let my guard down and acted nonchalance. on valentines day he sent an ecard saying... he wished he had of been different with me. another four weeks past and he asked to visit again, i said fine, this time he was telling me how he loved me and wanted us to be together and that he would even find a job closer to me and all apologetic of the past. we had drinks and a laugh and very stupidley i let my guard down and we ended up spending the night together. the next morning there was no more talk of 'us' and after a few hours he left. he text me later to say he had a great time and that he would see me soon. that was almost three weeks ago. during the last three weeks he has rang often and texts every other day or so. on each of the three birthdays i have spent knowing him the first he was cheating and out on that night with her, the second he didnt acknowledge, and the third he dumped me. i know myself that he isnt worth my time, so what is the thing that keeps me hoping he will realise he wants me? what can i do to help myself? i am sick of this misery and would appreciate any opinions/help kick up the backside even in the hope of something clicking. anybody...?
dreamer0123 Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 He seems like he's really hot and cold... maybe just calls you because of your history together. It sounds hard... and I'm really sorry you are going through this... my only advice would be to let go of him...no calls, no emails, no text & no excuses. If you ever feel tempted to respond- remind yourself of what he put you through when you found out with about the other women. Give yourself time... but make an effort to stay with work, friends and family. You'll get through this!! I promise!
MrsPeaSoup Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Hello kate9302, I'm going through a break up myself, with a guy I truly believe(d) to be my everlasting love. I can only tell you what I'm doing right now, and it seams to be working. Each day the emptiness in my heart is being filled up more and more. Each day I have less trouble to get asleep and each day I am thinking a little brighter about the future than the day before. Still, I think almost the whole day about him and yes his presence still lingers too much around me, but I have good hopes I will get over this. I'll tell you what I'm doing right now: Friends, family and happy events are the things to focuss on right now. Go talk with everybody you feel comfortable talking with about you and this guy. Don't just ask for their advice, but make sure YOU talk about it to make YOU feel better. It helps so much to just organize your thoughts by saying them out loud. Furthermore; try to be as busy with EVERYTHING as you can. It really makes you feel better to be doing something with friends. Ask them to go to see a movie, go shop a little in the city, go cooking together, etc. etc. It really helps to NOT go through this alone. You will only feel miserable and will only speculate on the whole thing even more. Really, be with people you like. Be pampered by them. Because you're a wonderful girl and you CAN get through this!
KevinHJW Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 i'm also going thru a breakup which i believe will take a long time. i read yr story and i thought u shouldve not doubt that he does not deserve u. i once wanted to change my ex from the person maybe she didnt want to be, i guess she made it. but so what? she finally told me what she ever needed was to be free, and she would like to have SOME TIME alone... then we broke up, i tried to get her back, she rejected for times, and here i am. i wish to say i dont wanna know what she's doing or doing with whom... but hey, does that matter? maybe nobody can change anybody from being who they are, and we should really appreciate the times they actually TRIED to change. BE STRONG.
Ilovecake Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Oh my god you just told my story. My ex also dumped me on my birthday, the year before he completely ignored my birthday and the year before that I found out he was with some other chick on my birthday. This guy you're talking about is a complete lying scumbag. He used you for sex and never had any intentions of committing to you. He doesn't love or care about you at all. Everything is about him. If you are looking for a real relationship stay as far away from this guy as possible. Do not fall for any of his contacts as he's just trying to string you along because he knows you'll be there when he needs some attention or just needs to get laid. Cut all contact with him, block him from your email, phone, facebook, myspace,… what have you. Just get him out of your life ASAP. Good luck and stay strong.
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