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Crossroads. NC for how long?

afave

By afave
in Second Chances

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afave New Member

afave

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Briefly: Met a great guy, we hit it off very well. Things went fast, he broke things off because he was not ready for a relationship-- Happened over a 5 week span. We left on good terms, been NC for 5 days. He was recently out of a 6 year on and off relationship (I believe he is over her, but his heart is still needing to heal).

 

I would love just to be friends with him. I believe that since things only became serious at the ending part of the 5 weeks that it is possible. Though, at this moment I still have a slight inkling of hope for the future. I don't want to lose him as a potential friend, so I know I would be required to to separate my feelings of hope from a friendship. And maybe by the time I contact him it won't hurt when I know he isn't ready.

 

I am determined to contact him at some point. I almost feel that NC will only lead him to move on and heal without considering me again, but how long is a safe time to not contact him? I don't want to seem pushy since he still has a lot to heal from but I don't want to lose the opportunity either.

 

 

My plan: To contact him on a Wednesday and meet on a Saturday.

 

As of now, I am thinking sometime in April. The (first) week of April which will be 11-14 days of NC or the (third) week of April 12th which will be 22-23 days of NC.

(The second week in between is full of MLB games, so meeting is not an option for the weekend..so I would have to approach contact a different way.)

I want to ask him if he is open to going to lunch at a Panera Bread type of place which is the most casual place I can think of...something other than going out for a drink, which am not so open to for the first meeting.

 

Thoughts?

Edited by afave
ADF Established Member

ADF

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Any man who expresses romantic or sexual interest in you but then says he's "not ready for a relationship" is more than likely aiming to lure you into some kind of FWB situation. I don't buy this "healing heart" business for a minute. Based on your description of him, this guy sounds like a classic case of a guy in search of no-strings sex.

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