Philetus Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I'm wondering if there are any ladies who can help me out with this question? Thanks in advance. There's a woman in my Tae Kwon Do class who I'm very attracted to. I've struck up conversations with her on a few occasions and I think she has some interest in me. The problem is, I don't know if she's single. In fact, I suspect she isn't. The only thing I base that on is that she has two youngish children. I've met her kids on a few occasions but never a husband/boyfriend. What's the best way to find out from her if she's available? Do I just flat out ask her? Or, do I just assume she's single and ask her out? Is there a better way?
boogieboy Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Dont worry about if she's single or not. Worry about if shes interested or not. Ask her out. If she says no, (or doesnt say yes) it didnt matter if she wasnt single, get it? I think that if youre too afraid to ask her out, youre not fully confident in the vibe that she is into you. Make sure she is curious about you first before you ask her out. If she isnt, then you pretty much know its a no go.
Author Philetus Posted March 25, 2010 Author Posted March 25, 2010 Dont worry about if she's single or not. Worry about if shes interested or not. Ask her out. If she says no, (or doesnt say yes) it didnt matter if she wasnt single, get it? I think that if youre too afraid to ask her out, youre not fully confident in the vibe that she is into you. Make sure she is curious about you first before you ask her out. If she isnt, then you pretty much know its a no go. Find out if she's curious? Yeah, that's what I've been doing. There's enough there that I think she's interested but it's not clear. (Might be because she not single?). I'll continue with Plan A and will probably just ask her to go for coffee after a class when her kids aren't there and see what happens. I was hoping there was a magic way to find out her status so that I can avoid any potential uncomfortableness in the future. Not to mention, since I'm a 40ish-year-old single guy, this will probably come up again.
phineas Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 wait till summer & look for a wedding band tan line. ?
2sure Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I stopped wearing my rings some months ago but am still married. So, recently despite the bitter aura I just gotta have, some men have shown interest. Because I'm not available, I throw it out there right away so no one feels led on , and to eliminate any awkwardness. So , if she hasnt mentioned being married she probably isnt. On the other hand, I am so accustomed to being unavailable and everyone knowing it that I dont notice the difference between someone being interested and someone being friendly. In other words: Apparently I have no advice
DustySaltus Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Just ask her now that she has these new found tae kwon do skills will she have her husband bow to her everything command?.....oh you're not married..... wait a class Then, ask her for coffee.
Author Philetus Posted March 25, 2010 Author Posted March 25, 2010 I stopped wearing my rings some months ago but am still married. So, recently despite the bitter aura I just gotta have, some men have shown interest. Because I'm not available, I throw it out there right away so no one feels led on , and to eliminate any awkwardness. So , if she hasnt mentioned being married she probably isnt. On the other hand, I am so accustomed to being unavailable and everyone knowing it that I dont notice the difference between someone being interested and someone being friendly. In other words: Apparently I have no advice Ah, thanks for the honesty. Then let me ask you this.... If a man, whom you see regularly but didn't know your status, was interested in you, how would you react if he said, "hey, do you mind if I ask... are you single?" Afterwards, would there be any weirdness for you, knowing this guy is into you? Sorry if I don't know protocol. I'm recently single after a 20 year marriage. I've forgotten some things....
Author Philetus Posted March 25, 2010 Author Posted March 25, 2010 Just ask her now that she has these new found tae kwon do skills will she have her husband bow to her everything command?.....oh you're not married..... wait a class Then, ask her for coffee. Ding ding ding... I think we may have a winner.
2sure Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Ah, thanks for the honesty. Then let me ask you this.... If a man, whom you see regularly but didn't know your status, was interested in you, how would you react if he said, "hey, do you mind if I ask... are you single?" Afterwards, would there be any weirdness for you, knowing this guy is into you? Hey, if you were married 20 years you are over 40 as am I. ..I'll tell you, asking someone if they are single ...is nothing, its no big deal, its what grown ups do! We are used to it, and soon you will be too. Like me, she will be flattered because she likes you. She will see it as a fair question, and not assume much more than that. Her answer might be: No, I dont mind you asking - In fact, Ive been married 10 years. - H and I are having some problems(separated) - I'm single and you? (ask her out) - I'm single , just busy (dont - not yet) There is NO awkwardness after a conversation like this no matter if you end up dating, gym buddies, or stay like you are.
Author Philetus Posted March 25, 2010 Author Posted March 25, 2010 Hey, if you were married 20 years you are over 40 as am I. ..I'll tell you, asking someone if they are single ...is nothing, its no big deal, its what grown ups do! We are used to it, and soon you will be too. Like me, she will be flattered because she likes you. She will see it as a fair question, and not assume much more than that. Her answer might be: No, I dont mind you asking - In fact, Ive been married 10 years. - H and I are having some problems(separated) - I'm single and you? (ask her out) - I'm single , just busy (dont - not yet) There is NO awkwardness after a conversation like this no matter if you end up dating, gym buddies, or stay like you are. Yep, that's me. Married for 19 years and I'm 43. Thanks again! This is twice today you've given me great advice. Wish I could buy you a drink - but your married. I hope there'll be no weirdness between us now.
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