Nichole Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I've posted three or four times in the OW section since November of 2009, when my MM first told me that he was going to leave his ex-wife. He was one of the rare men that actually go through with that plan, and we've been "openly" together since shortly afterward, and living together since we bought this house in February. There are many unique challenges that come with being OW-converted-to-partner, especially when most of the story is openly known. I know there are other women on here who are in shoes similar to mine, and I'd really appreciate a cyber-friend to exchange emails and thoughts with. I just can't find any sort of meaningful degree of understanding with my real-life friends. Nichole
Got it Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Nicole, I can understand definitey. What issues are you having?
whichwayisup Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I just can't find any sort of meaningful degree of understanding with my real-life friends. You mean your friends won't accept him even though he is divorced and with you now? Is he officially divorced or legally separated?
2sure Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I would think that there may be some issue with family, children stuff like that. Oh geez, sometimes it can be a whole community thing. Scarlet letter A and all. That would be a pain. OR, and I'm currently a BS so I am only guessing.... I cannot imagine an OW having to deal with me as an ex wife. That would just suck.
Author Nichole Posted March 25, 2010 Author Posted March 25, 2010 . You mean your friends won't accept him even though he is divorced and with you now? No, that's not what I meant. I cannot imagine an OW having to deal with me as an ex wife. That would just suck. You made me LOL, 2sure! Thankfully, my partner's ex-spouse seems to be reasonably level-headed about everything at this point, and doesn't seem to want to drag out the negative emotions and actions endlessly.
NoIDidn't Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 You don't have enough posts to PM with the OW-turned-RL partner posters. So you may have to include more information here about what it is that your friends are doing.
meemee Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I'm in the exact same boat and trying to make sense of this, at times, frustrating experience that no one else in my daily life can relate to. I'd be happy to correspond, but don't feel comfortable posting my e-mail publicly. I ended up on this board after searching for some input on this whole scenario and only registered when I saw your post, so I don't even know yet if there's a way to private message here. If there is, drop me a line. Even if you don't, I just feel better knowing I'm not the only one trying to navigate this experience.
Fallen Angel Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I'm in the exact same boat and trying to make sense of this, at times, frustrating experience that no one else in my daily life can relate to. I'd be happy to correspond, but don't feel comfortable posting my e-mail publicly. I ended up on this board after searching for some input on this whole scenario and only registered when I saw your post, so I don't even know yet if there's a way to private message here. If there is, drop me a line. Even if you don't, I just feel better knowing I'm not the only one trying to navigate this experience. I believe you get private message privlidges after 100 posts.. It is so that people who just come here to be hurtful can not attack someone by private message. The person must prove they can post 100 times being civil...
White Flower Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I would think that there may be some issue with family, children stuff like that. Oh geez, sometimes it can be a whole community thing. Scarlet letter A and all. That would be a pain. OR, and I'm currently a BS so I am only guessing.... I cannot imagine an OW having to deal with me as an ex wife. That would just suck. Sweetie, having been there as an OW why do you think you became someone so difficult to deal with as a BW?
tft Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I've posted three or four times in the OW section since November of 2009, when my MM first told me that he was going to leave his ex-wife. He was one of the rare men that actually go through with that plan, and we've been "openly" together since shortly afterward, and living together since we bought this house in February. There are many unique challenges that come with being OW-converted-to-partner, especially when most of the story is openly known. I know there are other women on here who are in shoes similar to mine, and I'd really appreciate a cyber-friend to exchange emails and thoughts with. I just can't find any sort of meaningful degree of understanding with my real-life friends. Nichole Hi Nichole. I'm an eOW turned GF. My partner left his marriage around 2 years ago, prior to that he always promised he would and we both knew we wanted a go a a relationship. After he did, things were OK till the flip floppng began (3 months in) he was very confused to what he wanted, went to IC (as have I). I had enough and called things off after 6 months, went NC. He hadn't put the D in place, sold his house, told his friends/family. Then, in Dec 2008 , we restarted the relationship proper, I met his family, he sold his house (which ended with him sleeping with her one last time, which I've forgiven him for (it was incredibly emotional, I've BTDT with an ex moving out)) He's now divorced, he's extremely content and happy, our relationship NOW is great, open, honest, shared, loved by our friends and family. But it was a really rocky road getting here, and there has been a lot of hurt and I'm still in IC. So I know its not easy, that's my history in a nutshell. I sympathise with your situation and am sometime lurking on here if you have a question/thought to pose. I wish you well.
meemee Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Thanks Fallen Angel. 2 down, 98 to go. I'm a very private person by nature & talking about such a sensitive topic in a public forum is tough for me, but I appreciate lurking & reading everyone's input.
OWoman Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Thanks Fallen Angel. 2 down, 98 to go. I'm a very private person by nature & talking about such a sensitive topic in a public forum is tough for me, but I appreciate lurking & reading everyone's input. meemee, you couold always hang out on one of the other forums where "lighter" stuff is discussed - like the Water Cooler...? Contribute on threads that are jokey, or start one yourself....?
holding_on Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Hi I found this site today and registered after reading your post. Forgive me for not using the abbreviations! I am still catching on. I have been the OW for 5 years. Just recently he asked his wife for a divorce and left. I am scared and confused all at the same time...and I wonder how things will be when we are allowed to be together freely. I guess I will have to post 100 posts to talk private haha
NoIDidn't Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I don't work for LS, I swear. But, those of you wanting to speak privately via PM can always support the board (as low as $2.50 a month), and get immediate access to the PM function. Just my two.
Fallen Angel Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 I don't work for LS, I swear. But, those of you wanting to speak privately via PM can always support the board (as low as $2.50 a month), and get immediate access to the PM function. Just my two. AAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahaha, and for that plug they should give you a free month's membership... (as low as $2.50 per month)! PRICELESS!
outofthedark Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I am an ow turned partner. He left his wife and then we moved in together 7 months later. The challenges this brings are endless. Feel free to talk with me anytime. I have run the full course with this man. Good and bad. A few on here live happily ever after (god bless them), others like me.. realize how hard it is to be with a man that has left his wife for you. Character!
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