victor alexis Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Ok, so here's the story. Its a long one so bear with me if you would I really like this girl, she has a great sense of humor just like mine, which is hard to find, as well as many other good qualities. The problem is that I work with her. This is preventing me from just asking her out because if she doesn't reciprocate things could get awkward for awhile, which i would like to avoid obviously. So i need to be sure that she likes me before i make my move. The other problem is that she is sending (or rather, I am getting) mixed signals from her. When we are at work she acts flirty, but only when we are alone. Such as always poking fun at me and laughing, playfully hitting me, generally just trying to stay near me. We both take our lunch break together and talk the entire time. Then i played around with the idea that we should get together outside of work. She agreed and we set a time and place. It was my apartment, 9pm on a saturday. she was going to bring ice-cream and i was going to order pizza. Well, she ended up canceling because it was the weekend before mid-terms and she needed to study, understandable. She said that she wanted to reschedule but didn't know when because she would be out of town the next few weekends and we were both busy during the week. Since then whenever i bring it up again she seems reluctant, almost like she never agreed to it in the first place. There was a period of time earlier before this happened where we messaged each other alot online, but since then she doesnt reply to my messages. I thought that she had lost interest (if there ever was any) but she is still acting the same way in person. So, what do you all think about this one? Do you think that I should make a move or should I let it go and just take it as her being friendly? And please tell me what you think regardless of the whole "don't date co-workers" thing. I understand the risks if a relationship were to end badly when we work together, but i have thought about it ALOT. Thanks for your input
Author victor alexis Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 anyone? i could really use some help, and the sooner the better.
counterman Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Well, you have brought it up already after she said she'll reschedule so you've already made yourself clear that you are keen on getting together. If she really wanted to reschedule, she would. So, I think you should just enjoy her company in person at work and not hold your breath for her. If she's interested, she'll ask you to meet up outside of work. I know of people who just really friendly in person like that to everyone.
Clep Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 I am seeing that she has decided against the dating with you and just can't tell you. I would just leave it, move on and if she decides to reschedule great but I wouldn't hold my breath. Wouldn't life be easier if people were just able to say openly and gently what they are thinking and what their true intentions are.
Author victor alexis Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 (edited) Something i forgot to add earlier. A fellow female co-worker apparently noticed our flirty behavior and on several occasions told us that we should date. whenever she would bring it up, the girl in question would shyly deny it and get really quiet. Then later on she would say something like "wow, she just wont let that go will she" then she laughs it off. Maybe she was hinting that i should ask her out like our other co-worker said? I dont know if this has any bearing on the situation but i forgot to mention it. Maybe she wanted me to ask her out and because i was still thinking about it and didn't act, now she thinks that i don't like her in that way? i dunno haha, this whole thing is getting very confusing to me. i agree with both of you that it sounds like she has lost interest (if there ever was any). But do you think that maybe she simply thinks that i don't like her and is as confused as I am? thanks for you comments on the situation, your outside perspective is very helpful. Edited March 27, 2010 by victor alexis
Author victor alexis Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 anyone out there have anything else to add before i make my decision?
boogieboy Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Shes not interested as soon as she cancelled on you. Leave her alone. If she tries to reschedule dont accept right away, but dont hold your breath. She KNOWS you like her, shes played this game before. She probably just used you to make herself feel better. Maybe she needs an ego boost because shes getting over a breakup. Maybe you said something to turn her off, but I think she used you. You were her ego feed. She arranges the date, cancels, and then all of a sudden theres no time soon when she can get together with you. I think she used you. When you see her at work, blow her off, she doesnt deserve your attention.
Author victor alexis Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 When you see her at work, blow her off, she doesnt deserve your attention. lol, right on dude. i know i should, but i dont like being rude to people. what i will probably do is forget it and not say or do anything differently such as ignoring her. That way i can get past this and at the same time keep workplace less awkward.
St. Nick Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 lol, right on dude. i know i should, but i dont like being rude to people. what i will probably do is forget it and not say or do anything differently such as ignoring her. That way i can get past this and at the same time keep workplace less awkward. victor, you should definitely ignore her. If you keep being sociable she'll think you like her and act uppity. Ignoring her is the only smart option from now on.
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