do you all feel the same way?

[Thebob]

Well I been strict NC for 5.5 months after a 2 month relationship, we've probably only talked a total of 7 sentences during this time, and they have been all initiated by her, well all but one in which I completely blew her off each time. And yes I wanted to hang my nuts up when I contacted her cause it went absolutely nowhere. Yes I know it's short but it was my first serious thing, and I gave it my all in this one since I thought she was the right girl and I lost my V-card to her. Then I found out a new boyfriend was in her life 1.5 months later. But since then I have met 2 wonderful girls that I was lucky to spend time with. The 1st one was only 2 months as well, we just talked but never became official, we fooled around a little but we ended up losing communication to distance. But then I found another girl over spring break that lives 1000 miles away, but she is a great girl as well, and obviously it won't work out but we had a great time and some great nights in which we went the full distance =). I been talking to her ever since she left 2 weeks ago everyday, and letting nature run its course. And were trying to plan some meetings in the near future when I head back to my homestate where she lives near.

 

Pretty much since that first breakup though, do you all ever really forget your first serious thing? Even when your with a new boyfriend/ girlfriend, do you sometimes see that person pop up in your head? I mean I have been with 2 girls since her, and she still is in the back of my head at least 1nce everyday and I don't understand why. I mean it doesn't hurt like it did then, but she still gets up there, and everytime i think of her i really just want to cut my balls off and bury myself in a grave because I know that I need to move on. I thought by goin full distance with this second girl, that would have gotten my first girl completely out of my head, but it really hasn't. She still crops up in there, but it's not as bad and I don't know why she does crop up in there. I guess I am just asking do you think she still think about me from time to time? or do you think I'm not completely over her yet? cause this is getting kind of annoying.

 

Thebob

[spriggig]

Pretty much since that first breakup though, do you all ever really forget your first serious thing? Even when your with a new boyfriend/ girlfriend, do you sometimes see that person pop up in your head?

 

Hell, I still think about my first girl and it's been 25 years. I even looked at her FB page a couple of months ago and was genuinely happy for her that things had gone so well--she was one of those who always knew what she wanted and went for it.

 

My STBXW also thinks about her first boyfriend sometimes.

 

You'll never forget her, but you will get over her.

[Thebob]

Really? well that isn't good, cause we had a bad breakup pretty much. Didn't really ever get in a fight, but distance gradually tore us apart from one another. If we were together we would have made a great couple for possibly years to come. So I guess my brain still wants that clarification from her on why things ended the way they did but I know that I will never receive that.

 

Thebob

[Fouts]

It takes time to move on. Normal people don't fall in love with everyone they meet. Eventually you'll meet someone that you find every bit as special as your ex and more. Your memories will fade more and more, and eventually you'll only remember the good things you took from that relationship.

[spriggig]

Really? well that isn't good, cause we had a bad breakup pretty much. Didn't really ever get in a fight, but distance gradually tore us apart from one another. If we were together we would have made a great couple for possibly years to come. So I guess my brain still wants that clarification from her on why things ended the way they did but I know that I will never receive that.

 

Thebob

 

The good part is that the fond memories stay but the pain fades in time. Try to let go of any hope that you'll get back together with her. Because, while it may very well happen that you will, in the meantime the HOPE of it happening will keep you from moving forward.

 

Be good to yourself.

[Odyssey]

Hey TheBob, thought i'll check in on y'all LS folks after being away for awhile. It's good to hear you're doing well now.

 

Spriggig is spot on, about hope and not moving on. It's completely normal that you can't completely forget about the ex. but in time you'll think about her less often - this is the truth.

 

...sometimes you think too much. (keep moving forward man, you're doing good)

[USMCHokie]

I do feel the same way...I know I'll move on, but I'll never forget her...

[Thebob]

Yea your right Sprig, I think it's because when we broke up she was like, I'll contact you next summer when I am back in town, so I guess my brain takes that as she will probably contact me to meet up since being in college 4-5 states away from me was never going to work out. And when she is back in the summer she is going to have 3-4 months of being near me and she just won't contact me. I guess I have to let go completely and let go of the hope that she will contact me. She has contacted me 4 times since September, but like I said i have blown her off cause that is the last thing I needed and I didn't want to fall back to phase 1 in hope that she'll come crawling back in to my arms. Thanks guys, and long time no see Odyssey!

 

Thebob

[MrsPeaSoup]

The good part is that the fond memories stay but the pain fades in time. Try to let go of any hope that you'll get back together with her. Because, while it may very well happen that you will, in the meantime the HOPE of it happening will keep you from moving forward.

 

Be good to yourself.

 

 

Wow, you're so right I think. Thanks for this advice, Spriggig