bluz73 Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I have never dumped someone before but recently been dumped for someone else which has killed my self esteem. I was a kind loving caring woman to him and He said it had nothing to do with me personally. I just wonder do I ever cross his mind even though he is with someone else? I was replaced for a highschool girl Do any of you dumpers who have left a good person for someone else(rebound) ever think about your ex?
Rearden Metal Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 The right answer is IT DOESN'T MATTER, but the true answer is IT DEPENDS. I know I'm on her mind. She's stupid, yes, but she's not retarded. I know somewhere in that pea brain there's a hamster on a wheel running as fast as she can and a thought ribbon feeds out the back saying "wow u fuc*ed up". At least, that's how I envision it!
Weird Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 (edited) No doubt there is no concrete answer so it does depend on the person along with all other variables. In my case, I'd guess I would be classified as being dumped since I didn't want the relationship to end and the girl still thinks about me a lot. I know this not because she has said it but because she pops into my life at times and even did it a little over a year ago when she was seeing some guy. I basically told her to leave me alone then and she did for a year but then emailed me to tell me I was correct on something and she did so by replying to my "tell off" email which given that it was her main email address and it was a year before this, it clearly shows she kept it out of I guess importance. Oh and our relationship ended 7 years ago...so yeah, some "dumpers" clearly will not forget the other person. I'd love to one day find out just how much she thinks about me and what communication she has kept both from when we were together and since then but I don't think she'd ever really be up front about it unless we got back together which I know we could in theory but she is the type of person who seems to be black and white with things and somewhat still views me from the past (ie she doesn't seem to get that in 7 years I have changed in way s and matured just like she and everyone else has so she still thinks any shortcomings I had then must still exist) so it'd have to either take dating a bunch of jackasses who are inferior to me (even with her assumptions regarding me still in play) and screw her over (based on her email to say I was "correct" it sounds like she got screwed over by the guy) or her to just finally accept that after 7 years things are not and would not be the same as before and her to just take a chance. I am confident her and I could work out because we do click well and I am confident she deep down knows this but that doesn't mean it'll ever happen since it all comes back to her being able to or willing to open her mind and not see things as though it is 2003 and view things as a somewhat new experience. Chances are that if you truly were a great person to the guy that he will be thinking about you a lot and will probably contact you down the road. Edited March 25, 2010 by Weird
LovelyDaze Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I have never dumped someone before but recently been dumped for someone else which has killed my self esteem. I was a kind loving caring woman to him and He said it had nothing to do with me personally. I just wonder do I ever cross his mind even though he is with someone else? I was replaced for a highschool girl Do any of you dumpers who have left a good person for someone else(rebound) ever think about your ex? I came on LS as a dumpee actually, but I have been a dumper before. No, I never really forgotten any boyfriend at all. The one I dumped out of sheer selfishness for another guy(about 13-14 years ago), still makes me wonder,"What If." I was the "dream" dumper after a few months and was wanting to apologize and try it again. Ironically, I saw him a couple of weeks at our city's NBA basketball game holding hands with a very pretty new GF and they looked so happy. I told my friend, "Karma IS a bitch, huh?" I felt so horrible and embarrassed for thinking he was crying over me every night. I think the dumpers with no conscience are the ones who couldn't care less as they are focused only on themselves, not even their new GF/BF matters really.
angelaM Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 My ex dumped me last year and I found out later he never stopped thinking about me, in fact it sounded like the split was just as hard on him as it was on me. He thought a lot about what he had lost when he let me go. I was very surprised, but I found it comforting as well. At least when you're the one who gets dumped, you don't have to second-guess whether you gave up too soon.
spriggig Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 The right answer is IT DOESN'T MATTER, but the true answer is IT DEPENDS. I know I'm on her mind. She's stupid, yes, but she's not retarded. I know somewhere in that pea brain there's a hamster on a wheel running as fast as she can and a thought ribbon feeds out the back saying "wow u fuc*ed up". At least, that's how I envision it! Love this!
WiseOne1 Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Well for me, YES..but it dependz though.. A ex GF a long time ago dumped me, and yes I got over it, but do I ever think about her still?? It is a very rare sistuation, I think about her maybe every 5 months (yes its that rare). My last Ex gf, I think about her every couple of days.
Meaplus3 Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Sorry to hear your feeling down. I as a dumper of a couple times, did not think twice again about the person I dumped. They were dumped for a good reason, end of story. Now, it's really best here to stop looking back and start looking forward. forget about him the best you can. The more you focus on the reason behind beign dumped.. the longer it will take you to move past this. It may not sound easy, but it can be done. Fill your days with other things. that give you joy. This should help keep your mind of the ex. Best of luck. Mea:)
Tamia78 Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 As a dumper, I broke up with my high school sweetheart because I was not ready for marriage. I know it hurt him pretty bad, and I still thought about him from time to time. I saw his sister recently, and found out that he's happily married with kids..........and I'm still single. Yep, Karma is a b*tch. As a dumpee, I have to hope that my most current ex still thinks about me, but in reality, I think he too selfish to think of anyone but himself. If he thinks about me, it's about how different I am compared to whoever he's with now. --T
Ilovecake Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 (edited) 1. If you were left for someone else that person is not a rebound. 2. Breaking up with someone is not like Alzheimer's. No you are not completely wiped from their memory. 3. They could still have fond memories of you but it doesn't mean they have any romantic feelings towards you. In some cases some people will always have a little bit of a special spot in a dumper's heart. It's subjective. Edited March 25, 2010 by Ilovecake
ingridh Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I have no doubt that I have completely vanished from my ex's mind. A few facts: 1. He is basically an 'out of sight of out mind' person. During our two years together, he hardly said he missed me. 2. He cheated and dumped me (9 years older) for a beautiful college girl (15 years younger) who is now his fiancée. 3. He has been telling our mutual friends how happily in love he is, will do anything to make this new relationship work, and when his fiancée gradutes this summer, they plan to move to her home country. Never once mentioned or asked about me. 4. I started NC about six weeks ago. Not a word from him since. Before break-up we used to exchange close to 5000 texts a month. I hate him.
Toki Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Rearden gave you the best answer. It does depend a lot on who you're dumping, and for what reasons. I've done my share of being the dumper, and some of them I couldn't have cared less, while at least one sticks in my mind as being extremely excruciating; I did love her at one point, and even through the dumping a part of me still was in love with certain aspects of the person, and the inevitable conclusion of being alone by the end of it. I still think of her, but I think of her more as an idea instead of a relationship where there was a dumper and a dumpee. I like the idea of her, but I don't want to be with her... I don't know if that helps.
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